Great news for all you Martin the Sound Fans – you can now cut out and keep your very own Martin! Sally Grosart, who created these marvellous paper effigies of me and Olly, has also done one of Martin, right down to his home-made Sound of the Ladies t-shirt. It’s an impressive likeness:
Martin the Paper Sound Man
If you want to make your own papery Martin, click on the picture below for the full-size pattern; and do take a look at Sally’s Flickr stream for her other cardboard chaps.
Make your own Martin - less sweary than the original
There are some subjects which are particularly dear to us, so naturally our question-answering urges were roused by this email from Bobbie from Cincinnati:
Helen and Olly (& Martin) answer me this: what do the “Non English” do wrong when they make tea? I am a tea junkie and would love to know what makes a cup of tea rubbish.
The first problem facing you, Bobbie, is that the most popular tea in the USA is Lipton’s, which is about as likely to make a tasty cup of tea as some eczema scrapings. But assuming you can get your hands on some decent bags or leaves, there are a few useful rules for tea palatability (I will try to keep this brief, as I tend to get far too overexcited on this subject and it is not attractive):
1. Use water that is at the zenith of boilingness, otherwise the resultant tea tastes like someone has been stirring it with soapy pencils. The fresher the water the better, too.
2. Don’t prod the teabag with a sodding spoon, ok? Just leave it to steep for a few minutes! Patience is key to successful tea – which rhymes, therefore must be true.
3. Pyramid or drawstring bags are Stupid. There, I said it.
Of course everyone has their methods (some of which are pure insanity), but what better guide to a good cup of tea than The Olden Times? If the video below is anything to go by, there used to be such a job as ‘tea instructor’. They were clearly hardcore back then.
Listeners, we’re sorry to be neglecting you this month. But Martin the Sound Man isn’t – he’s just released a new episode of his musical-gigs-filmed-in-the-house, The Sound of the Ladies Lounge! And it’s a corker, featuring Martin’s new song ‘We went to the bottom of the ocean’, as well as AMT!P jingle alumnus Gavin Osborn singing his ravishing current single ‘Hello, my name is Charlie’. See:
Today’s the day, listeners! We have opened up the draw for tickets for our live 100th Episode at the iTunes Live Festival on 11th July. If you are a) over 14 years of age and b) a member of the Answer Me This! Facebook Fanclub, you can win a pair of them! So if you haven’t already, skedaddle over to the Fanclub and set about the entry form; the deadline’s 5pm 18th June, after which we will hold a random draw for the winners. Cos random is fair, see?
If you win a ticket, you will not only be entitled to watch AMT!P turn 100, with all the live jingles, question-answering and Martin the Sound Man’s slow jams that such a celebration entails, but also the evening’s headliner: La Roux, with support from Dan Black. And all for free! What an electropop treat.
We hope you’re enjoying our break – and that you have joined our Facebook Fanclub for the chance to win tickets to our live 100th Episode extravaganza at the iTunes Live Festival. If you have, you will find out all very soon!
Meantime, here’s a little holiday treat courtesy of artist Sally Grosart, who makes marvellous paper toys of such entertainment luminaries as the Flaming Lips, New Kids on the Block and AMT!P pals Pappy’s Fun Club. And now us!
Helen and Olly, uncharacteristically paper-thin
If you fancy making a little paper Helen and Olly to terrorise your mantelpiece, click on the thumbnail below to download the pattern; and check out Sally’s other fun papery work on her Flickr stream.
Listeners, we’re afraid that the day has come: it’s the last episode of the series! We’re sure you can cope; you seem like an emotionally sturdy bunch. And if our absence does prove too hard to bear, check out Episodes 1-40 for another 15+ hours of our company. Or, alternatively, our Early Learning Curve will make you miss us a lot less.
Anyway, on with today’s show, which is of course Episode 98:
In which there are:
party whistles
big bands
pot pourri
Ben Folds
‘Happy Birthday’
oestrogen
the Nottingham Eye
glottal stops
Michelle Pfeiffer
TGI Friday
cat grass
and
The Ivy festivity FAIL.
Plus: in trying out the kind of etymological web-research that Helen usually does, Olly finds himself in a whole world of Rude; Helen gives some surefire tips to repel potential flatmates; and Martin the Sound Man generally behaves himself, probably distracted by the fact that he has a new live EP out and you lovely chaps can download it for FREE from thesoundoftheladies.com/music
This being Episode 98, I’m sure the mathematical among you have clocked that our 100th episode is fast approaching. Naturally, we will not be letting our passage into triple figures go unmarked, and at the end of the episode we reveal how we’re celebrating it. Our Facebook Fanclub alone will be privy to how you too can be with us for the party of the century day, so join it stat!
Other than that, please do stay in touch while we’re away by sending us your QUESTIONS for the next series: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And even though we’re giving our voices a rest, we’ll still be putting bits and bobs up on this website throughout our break, so do come visit; and we’ll see you back here on July 9th for Episode 99!
We’ve had a call for help from Andria from Texas (soon to be from Minnesota):
I am moving in with my fiance in a few weeks so answer me this, what advice would you give to someone who has never lived with a man (other than my dad) before? How can I make this transition smoother for both of us?
I would say you ought to remember to a) have arguments loudly enough that your neighbours can enjoy them; b) not confuse cleaning with something actually emotionally important; and c) not show too much interest in his mysterious locked cupboard, because frankly you will be much happier not knowing – it’ll either contain corpses or pornography. But readers, what would YOU say is the key to happy cohabitation? Let Andria know in a comment below!
Some questions are really too visual to be answered in an audio podcast. Others are a bit too apt to get us into trouble. This question from Sharon from Glasgow falls in both camps:
At a fancy dress party last year I dressed as Jimi Hendrix and blacked up. My friends were split between whether this is racist or not. I think I looked great. Answer me this: is blacking up racist?
p.s. I have attached photos for your judgement.
p.p.s. I am definitely not racist.
Sharon in her normal state
After: is Sharon racist, or just misunderstood?
Never mind blacking up - that person next to Sharon is GREEN.
It doesn’t seem quite as wrong as the film Soul Man, but I think we should have a poll all the same:
It’s been a long series and at this point we’re weary, trudging the podcast-path with just some Kendal Mint Cake and warm Lucozade to keep us going. So we’re taking a month off after next week’s episode – oh, don’t look like that! We’ll come back; we always do. And in the meantime, there’s Episode 97:
In which we speak of:
Eraserhead
kilts
acromegaly
Portmeirion
what sperm and Tony Blair have in common Charley’s Aunt
ceilidhs
cannabinoids
toastmasters
HMP Loose Women
Matthew McConaughey
polari
and
the Evil Eye.
Also, Olly gives TMI about his urinary tract; Helen is sniffy about a psychedelic risotto; and Martin the Sound Man reveals the secret to his wisdom. It’s a real disappointment, frankly.
Before we head off on our holidays (or rather, before Olly heads off on a glorious roadtrip of the US and Helen and Martin sit tight in Crystal Palace), send us your QUESTIONS: call 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. ‘Twill give us succour during our darkest hours.
See you next week, when we will be telling you what our party plans are for our forthcoming 100th Episode, and how you can be a part of that party!
The Britain’s Got Talent final looms, and you kids are getting somewhat overwrought about it. Firstly, Mark (14):
What is all the fuss about Susan Boyle?! Yes she can sing, but why do the papers only refer to her as “Susan Boyle: the virgin” as if it’s her defining feature?
So many questions, Mark, in one brief missive. My guesses are:
a) who can resist a woman who looks like a whiskery Happy Face biscuit singing showtunes?
b) the media hardly ever get to write about virgins, so it’s a rare treat from them.
Now here’s some strong stuff from Carla from London Town:
I was watching Su Bo on YouTube do her latest performance but that Amanda Holden woman was crying which put me off the whole thing. She looks to me like one of those girls who was in the year above and enjoyed sneering at anyone who wasn’t as attractive as she was.
Is there anyone- ANYONE- A single one of your listeners who likes her? I would love to know whether there is one speck of humanity who finds her bearable.
As a BGT-ignorer, I have no opinions at all about this Holden creature, so must instead impeach you lot to share your feelings upon the erstwhile Mrs Les Dennis bearable.
We have some feedback from Episode 96, firstly courtesy of Meg from Carlisle in response to Laurence from York’s question about external news reports:
When I’m not being an Answer Me This! Listener (and sometimes when I am), I am a hot young journo very much like Lois Lane. While I actually work for a newspaper, I often encounter TV reporters when I’m out on the road. So, to answer the fellow with the sweaty-pitted teacher:
1. TV news is a visual format and as such needs to be interesting, or at least varied, to look at. You’d soon notice if it was just some people in a room.
2. TV news needs to be different from its radio/newspaper/internet-based brethren, otherwise what’s the point?
3. Believe it or not, those guys usually aren’t being told what to say. In my experience, TV journalists just turn up on the scene and do what we all do – ask a few questions and try and work out what’s going on. I’ve seen a News 24 girl report to camera completely off the cuff, without any notes, seconds after admitting she had no idea what she was about to say.
A thrilling insight into the fast-paced world of tv news! And now a thrilling insight into the world of programming languages, thanks to James in Cornwall:
This, #!, is a shebang. It is a bit dull really, but it is used in a few programming languages on Unix.
Yup, I think that’s just the answer James from Glasgow was expecting us to give…
Oh deary dear, we’ve had a Strongly-Worded Letter of Complaint arising from my allusion to ironic 1980s cookbook Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche in Episode 95:
OI! I’ve got a bone to pick with you (which in itself is an odd phrase; answer me this – where did it originate?)
But onto my point. I like football, I swear a lot and I have tattoos. In short, I am a real man.
I ALSO LIKE QUICHE.
It is not unmanliness, it is simply a lush foodstuff that goes nice with salad (which is also manly, if you omit the celery). I demand you make a public apology.
Yours
Slightly Miffed from Treorchy
Well, here’s your public apology, Slightly Miffed; and I hope you don’t get similarly riled by my reference to the culinary classic Salad Cream is for Dickwads in the forthcoming Episode 97.
in 
