Here’s some retro feedback from Alex in Sunderland:
I was just listening to an old podcast of yours about school rumours and thought you’d like to know an amusing one from my school.
When I was about 15, some lad in my year claimed, as you do, that he had connections to the local mafia and told explicit lies detailing how he and his father had brokered a drug deal, among other piles of bullshit.
In parody of this, my friend decided to spread the rumour that he had connections with an international Russian gun-running cartel and he had a shipment of AK-47 assault rifles stashed in his house, which we found pretty funny at the time but nobody really took seriously for obvious reasons.
A couple of days later, during English, the deputy head of the school came into my lesson and removed my friend from the lesson. He looked angry so we assumed he’d done something pretty bad. Turns out this rumour about the Russian gun traffickers had worked its way to the faculty and my friend had been seriously questioned by the deputy head as to the whereabouts of these weapons he had. He was threatened with expulsion and the police were briefly involved but thankfully the whole student population who weren’t retarded vouched for this being a rumour.
I’m aware this sounds like bullshit but I will swear it’s the truth.
Just like when one of my school cohorts was rumoured to be shagging the head of music; this sounded like bullshit, until the head of music very suddenly left ‘to teach in Brazil’ and said cohort similarly vanished to complete her A-levels at a convent or something.
Anyone else who has some not-bullshit school rumours they wish to share, tell the whole class by taking it to the comments.