Olly’s face is proving a popular choice amongst minor public figures

After last month’s Alphabeat shenanigans, here’s some more looky-likey fun courtesy of Sophie:

So I’m sat bored out of my brain watching Daily Cooks Challenge on ITV when the camera moves to Ed Baines, one of the chefs, and I can’t help but think that he looks a lot like Olly - good or bad thing I’m not quite sure! So answer me this. does anyone else see the resemblance? Or is it just my brain’s defence mechanism kicking in to give me something to focus my attention on to save me from the boredom?

Let’s look at the evidence!

Olly Mann's face

Ed Baines's face

Does Olly Mann look like Ed Baines?

• yes
• no
• he looks more like 19th-century industrialist and universal male suffrage opponent Edward Baines

Created on Jul 23, 2008

View Results

poll by twiigs.com

hiccups and sneezes

** Click here for EPISODE 59 **

Beth has more advice regarding sneeze/hiccup prevention tactics as raised in Episode 58:

I cure hiccups by drinking out of the wrong side of the glass like Helen’s family. It does actually work and if you are fully capable adult it is easy to do without spilling. It essentially means you are drinking upside down, whether that’s concentration or something to do with the diaphragm I have no idea.

As for sneezing, I tell everybody who has problems getting sneezes out (’better out than in’, Helen, your tongue method may work but I believe that you should aim to sneeze, not hold it in) that they should look at something light/bright, then to something dark and repeat every few seconds. I think this is because by switching between the two your pupils contract and dilate, and as all things are connected this messes about with your sinuses (and other general sneezy bits), causing you to sneeze out that annoying tickle. I can’t remember if I read this somewhere or made it up, but it definitely works.

Ain’t sinuses crazy? Anyway, a whole NEW question has emerged from this hiccupping debate, thanks to Klaus:

What do you say to someone when they hiccup? With sneezes, it is customary to ‘bless’ the sneezee… when someone coughs, they might say ‘cough up’ or something similar. With a burp, one pardons oneself or is pardoned. But what of hiccups? Why are they are they just forced to linger awkwardly in the air until such a time as someone suggests a dubious hiccup remedy? Please advise!

Hmm, a fine point! In the event that one can refrain from saying ‘Try drinking a glass of water! Hold your breath! Throw yourself down the stairs! Have you tried holding your breath?’ then the usual thing to do is look at the hiccupper in a manner both sympathetic and condescending, if you can manage it; but any more gracious suggestions would be welcomed.

Episode 59 feedback

** Click here if you’re keen to listen to EPISODE 59 **

It’s feedback time! No, not when a horrid screeching sound comes out of the sound system at a gig, but when you delightful chappies shed light on issues raised in the podcast. Firstly, Graham from Canada has a tip in response to Adam’s plea for homework excuses in Episode 59:

My tip to avoid work is: eat about 10 multi-vitamins, then a sandwich, then phone your work once the sandwich is eaten and phone in to work sick (the multi vitamin sandwich thing is so barfing noises are real) this could be applied at lunch as well, if you want a half day. (Note, the zinc in the multi-vitamins in larger quantities is what causes the barfing.)

Before you merrily chow down on multivitamins in preparation for the upchuck of your life, please be aware that THIS IS NOT SOUND MEDICAL ADVICE. Also, why waste your fake sick day on actually being sick? But if you’re an emetophile or fervent self-hater, then go right ahead by all means.

Next to clean up one of our messes is Josh, commenting upon Luke from Birmingham’s question about allergies in Episode 58:

Contrary to what Martin the soundman said, there is such a thing as an allergy to water and it doesn’t kill you before you’re born at all. Interesting!

The condition is called Aquagenic Urticaria. People who have it come up in really painful, itchy, itchy hives after coming in contact with water of any temperature, even their own sweat can trigger an allergic reaction. This means that they have to take really fast showers and have emergency umbrellas on them all the time. Let’s all think about that for a while.

Ouch! Yes, let’s. And then let’s cheer ourselves up by thinking about less severe allergies and weird reactions to foodstuffs, not only because it’s been AGES since we last did that, but also because Beth has been in touch to ask:

Am I the only one who breaks into a forehead sweat when I eat salt and vinegar crisps? Nothing else salty, vinagery or crispy, just them.

IS Beth the only one? Share, readers, share! And while you’re at it, please leave a comment here about your own bizarre food reactions, because we are horrible people who love to laugh at the digestive quirks of unfortunates.

Red semen at night…

Following the discussion on shades of sperm in Episode 57, Mik wrote in to share this worrying turn of biological and social events:

A while ago my sperm turned bright red. A little worried, I called at my doctor’s. She told me not to worry it was caused by over-active sex (lucky girlfriend) and would gradually disappear. To keep a check I was to wank into a condom every day and compare results. After about a week, and feeling pleased at my now healing sperm, we all had a good night on the town, returning to my place to carry the party on. The question is this: did i get my condoms filled with various shades of spunk out too early to show everyone, as the party atmosphere seemed to lose its direction after that?

Gosh. In an evening of festivities, how early is ‘too early’ to invite admiration of your bloody emissions? If you are one of Mik’s friends who happened to be present at this gory soirée, please leave a comment to say what time would have been the optimum point of proceedings for him to produce his display; then hopefully his future parties won’t peak prematurely.

Help! Has anyone seen New Zealand?

** Answer Me This! returns on May 15th; meanwhile click HERE to listen to the back catalogue **

We’ve received a rather distressing missive from Paul from Paengaroa in New Zealand:

I made the mistake of looking at the CNN website (I am not sure that it is truly putting a world perspective spin on news) and I was distraught to find out that they do not currently acknowledge New Zealand as part of the world. In fact they appear to have missed all of Australasia/Oceania in their Geographically named user interfaces.

This troubles me as I believe that I may now be living on a different planet as my living place is not included in the world. Please can you answer me this….has New Zealand moved to another planet?

Yikes. Is it global warming? Continental drift? Another vanishing trick by David Copperfield? Unfortunately from my sofa in Crystal Palace I’m not well-positioned to check on the current whereabouts of New Zealand; but if any of you are larking about in or near the southern Pacific, please let us know if Australasia is all present and correct so that we can put Paul’s mind at rest. Wherever it is!

the Answer Me This! studios

** Answer Me This! returns on May 15th; meanwhile click HERE to listen to the back catalogue **

You listeners are endlessly wonderful. Not only do you send us all those questions we live to answer, but now pictures as well! Going straight onto the Answer Me This! fridge is this drawing by Alison from San Jose (click for a bigger image):

Alison writes:

As I listen to your podcast my mind makes up images of what the place you record in looks like. I decided to sketch out what I picture in my head. I have no idea if I’m right, though…what if your “recording studio” is really an old rec room or someone’s bedroom? What if you’re all just sitting around on a bed leaning over to share a computer microphone? I much prefer to picture you in a professional-type studio with fancy microphones, a laptop for quick research, and Martin in his own fancy sound booth. So Helen and Ollie, answer me this, what does your recording studio look like?

Alison, we hate to disappoint you, so let’s just say that our recording studio is even fancier than Mr Kipling’s French Fancies. It looks almost exactly like this, although you can’t quite see the 18-carat gold ceiling in this picture:

Oh, ok - our studio isn’t quite as snazzy as that one, but let’s keep Alison’s dream alive a little longer… Meanwhile, before we reveal the prosaic reality of Where The Magic Happens, if any of the rest of you feel like sending us a picture of what you think the studio looks like, we’d be quite delighted. Please email it to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and we’ll post it up here, just like Tony Hart might have done if he hadn’t retired.

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Nick fixes it (again)

* Click HERE to listen to Episode 18 *

Even after Helen gave him potentially deleterious health advice, regular questioneer Nick has been so kind as to haul us out of a hole on more than one occasion. After his fine work on the question of emoticons back in Episode 11, dauntless Nick has once again waded in where even alleged physics expert Martin the Sound Man fears to tread.

When Martin ‘I’ve got a PhD in physics - and I didn’t buy it off the internet’ Austwick utterly failed to supply a useful answer to Jonny’s question in Episode 18, “How can we prove that the world is round?”, who should save our bacon but Nick ‘I don’t have a PhD in Physics and frankly I suspect Martin the Sound Man’s is not worth the potato it was printed with’ Questioneer, who promptly emailed us the following succinct solution:

A two-word explanation for Johnny: lunar eclipses. Couldn’t happen like that if the earth were any other shape. I thank you.

Olly and Helen are now considering sacking themselves and appointing Nick their successor, but it would mean a lot of smashing jingles would go to waste.

What do you reckon, eh?

Should Helen and Olly sack themselves and appoint Nick their successor?

• Yes. Frankly it’s been a long time coming.
• No! Nick is the most dangerous charlatan since Galileo!
• They can ALL go to hell.

Created on June 13, 2007

View Results

more at twiigs.com…

What do you mean, porridge gives you a rash?

* Click here to listen to EPISODE 7 *

It’s time for another audience question!

Jamie Madge’s question in episode 7, “Why do you get a runny nose when eating spicy food?”, was certainly thought-provoking. It caused shrinking violet Olly to reveal on air that, while his nose remains continent during spicy meals, he is a member of the My Poo Turns Blue When I Eat Beetroot club; this seems to be quite a mainstream condition, but later he shyly muttered that he also gets very sneezy when he eats pear-drops. Martin the Sound Man has also outed himself as someone who sneezes when he eats strong mints. And Helen gets faint when she ingests monosodium glutamate.

So we thought it would be jolly interesting to ask you:

Have you got a weird physical reaction to eating or drinking a product?

Not the common or garden ones like getting the runs from a vindaloo or becoming hyperactive after too many Chupa Chups; or anything scary and serious like “I need an adrenaline shot to the heart when I eat nuts” or “My brain goes bendy when I eat naughty mushrooms”: we want to hear from you if, say, gravy gives you a squint or Scotch eggs make your hands turn magenta.

So please reveal your digestive anomalies by leaving us a comment on this site, or if that seems a bit steep then drop us an email at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

another milestone for Answer Me This!

Back in the olden days (ie episode 2), we asked you listeners whether you’d listened to Answer Me This! in a plane, or failing that what was the weirdest place in which you’d listened to the podcast. Answers to the latter, quite fairly, ranged from ‘in the nude’ to ‘Nottingham’.

However, after the following email trotted into our inbox this morning, I am delighted to announce that Answer Me This! has achieved its first mile-high listener:

Dear Helen and Olly,

Weren’t you wondering recently whether anyone had signed answermethispodcast into the mile high club? Well I did! But not in a dirty way. Last Sunday, episode 2, London Heathrow to Chicago O’Hare, somewhere near Iceland!

Congratulations!

Alex D

And congratulations back at you, Alex D. The challenge is on, listeners - beat that! I look forward to hearing from Gerald A. Spacetourist: ‘I listened to episode 6004 whilst orbiting the Moon. To be honest, having spent £1million on the trip, I should have waited until I got home.’

ANSWER THIS, LISTENERS!

We hope you are having plenty of fun listening to Answer Me This!, and for this week’s audience question we are keen to find out what is the oddest place in which you’ve listened to it.

We realise that, given the fledgling nature of Answer Me This!, this is quite a test. However we know you to be an ingenious bunch, and look forward to you revealing the true extent of your deviant podcast-listening habits.

Please leave your answers in the Comments section, and remember: you stand to win THE RESPECT OF YOUR PEERS.

ANSWER THIS, LISTENERS!

* Click here for the lastest edition of our podcast *

LOOK! It’s a bruise on Helen’s arm that looks like a cock and balls!

Our question to listeners this week is - how do you think Helen came to have such an amusingly-shaped bruise?

Answers as always to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com