FAQ about AMT!P

As a question-answering pair of podcasters, we are Frequently Asked Questions. But we are asked some questions more frequently than others, including:

I want to set up my own podcast. Do you have any handy tips?
Here’s a potted guide to get you started.

Why are your jingles so damn catchy?
Because Martin the Sound Man and the Answer Me This! players are musical marvels.

I sent in a question AGES ago and you haven’t answered it. Why?
It’s nothing personal; there are many reasons why your question might not have appeared in the podcast. For instance:
1. We’re too stupid/ill-informed to answer it.
2. We tried to, but were insufficiently amusing or insightful so it landed on the cutting-room floor.
3. We’ve answered the same or similar question in a previous episode.
4. We were lucky enough to receive so many questions that week that we were simply overwhelmed by choice.
5. It was too quiet/there was too much background noise for us to hear you properly (NB this only applies to submissions over our Question Line, not emails, muggins).
6. In doing so, we would get into hot water with the Taste Police, the Commission for Racial Equality, and our mums.
7. It was, let’s face it, a bit shit.

Answer me this: what question should I send in to get on the show?
Definitely not this one. Try harder.

Do you know Martin the Sound Man’s voice sound echoey?
Yes. We’ve been doing this podcast since January 2007, and we’re not deaf.

Why is Martin the Sound Man’s voice echoey?
Some things in this life deserve to remain a mystery.

Why can’t I get your first 120 episodes on iTunes?
At first, we had to take much of our archive down due to bandwidth issues. Then, much as we love our unpaid hobby, we realised that making a free podcast had also become a bit of a financial strain. So in order to help keep Answer Me This! going, we’re selling old episodes from our Classic Episode Shop for 79p each (the same amount as a three-minute pop single on iTunes, but up to TEN TIMES LONGER!) – but our latest year’s-worth of episodes will always be free.

I used to buy your classic episodes in batches of five, and now they’re being sold in batches of ten. What’s going on?
We changed this in response to listeners, who overwhelmingly told us they wanted to buy more episodes in fewer purchases. However, this change does mean some listeners may already own half of the episodes in one of the current batches of ten. Don’t worry, we don’t expect you to pay twice! If you still want to buy a batch of five episodes for £3.95, just contact us amtshop@googlemail.com with proof you have bought the other five episodes ‘in the set’, and we’ll send you a PayPal link to the five episodes you want to buy.

I like you, and I have an irrational but uncontainable urge to give you money. But I don’t want to buy your old episodes. How can I go about this?
If you insist upon shoving some cash our way, then proceed to Paypal and donate to account helenandolly@gmail.com. Thanking you in advance.

Can I do work experience with you?
It’s very kind of you to ask, but what with our 20-strong hair and make-up retinue, plus the full-time fluffers, there simply isn’t the room for any more unpaid slaves in the AMT studio.

Why don’t you see white dog poo on the streets any more?
In recent years, councils have become more rigorous about making people clear up their dog poo, and also they seem to clean the streets more often. Hence dog poo isn’t left out for weeks on end to fade to whiteness. Either that, or dogs are eating less bleach these days.

Why do so many people ask you about white dog poo?
[shrug]

Do vegans spit or swallow?
They wrap their chewing-gum up and dispose of it properly in a bin, just as non-vegans should.

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?
Have you ever tried making a round box? It is DIFFICULT.

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone arranged differently?
No particular reason, other than the manufacturerszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

How old do you have to be to die of old age?
130. Or, if you are a guinea pig, 5.

What’s the difference between ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’?
That was one of the first questions we ever answered, way back in Episode 2. Unfortunately, that was so long ago that we can’t remember the answer, so you’d better look it up in the dictionary.

I read some nonsense about you being big in Luxembourg. What the hell is that about?
This will reveal all.

Why do my sneezes smell bad?
We don’t know; but we do know that you’re not alone. Numerous people suffering from the same affliction seem to have started a support group in the comments section of this post about Olly’s smelly sneezes. Perhaps you could all band together and start a proper forum for smelly sneezers.

Subscribe with iTunes • Book • Question Archive • Episodes • Merch
• iPhone App • Android App • Facebook • Twitter • YouTube • FAQ