FAQ about AMT!

As a question-answering pair of podcasters, we are Frequently Asked Questions. But we are asked some questions more frequently than others, including:

Why are your jingles so damn catchy?
Because Martin the Sound Man and the Answer Me This! players are musical marvels.

I sent in a question AGES ago and you haven’t answered it. Why?
There are many reasons why your question might not have appeared in the podcast. For instance:
1. we’re too stupid/ill-informed to answer it.
2. we tried to, but were insufficiently amusing or insightful so it landed on the cutting-room floor.
3. we’ve answered the same or similar question in a previous episode.
4. we were lucky enough to receive so many questions that week that we were simply overwhelmed by choice.
5. it was too quiet/there was too much background noise for us to hear you properly (NB this only applies to submissions over our Question Line, not emails, muggins).
6. in doing so, we would get into hot water with the Taste Police, the Commission for Racial Equality, and our mums.
So, sorry about that. It’s nothing personal, honestly! (Unless you are reading, Helen’s Auntie Sue…)

Do you know Martin the Sound Man’s voice sound echoey?
We’ve been doing this podcast since January 2007, so we have noticed…

Why is Martin the Sound Man’s voice echoey?
Jeez. Don’t some things in this life deserve to remain a mystery?

Why can’t I get your first sixty episodes on iTunes?
At first, we had to take much of our archive down due to bandwidth issues. Then, much as we love our unpaid hobby, we realised that making a free podcast had also become a bit of a financial strain. So in order to help keep Answer Me This! going, we’re selling old episodes from our Classic Episode Shop for 79p each (the same amount as a three-minute pop single on iTunes, but up to TEN TIMES LONGER!) – but our latest year’s-worth of episodes will always be free.

Do you make any money from the podcast?
Aside from the small funds raised by the aforementioned flogging of old episodes, no. Though we got a few quid when we sold nude pics of Martin the Sound Man to Sound on Sound Magazine.

Can I do work experience with you?
It’s very kind of you to ask, but what with our 20-strong hair and make-up retinue, plus the full-time fluffers, there simply isn’t the room for any unpaid slaves in the AMT studio.

Why do my sneezes smell bad?
We don’t know. But take heart; you’re not alone! Numerous people suffering from the same seem to have started a support group in the comments section of this post about Olly’s smelly sneezes. Perhaps you could all band together and start a proper forum for the whiffy of sinus?

Why don’t you see white dog poo on the streets any more?
In recent years, councils have become more rigorous about making people clear up their dog poo, and also they seem to clean the streets more often. Hence dog poo isn’t left out for weeks on end to fade to whiteness. Either that, or dogs are eating less bleach these days.

Why do so many people ask you about white dog poo?
We have no idea!

How old do you have to be to die of old age?
130. Or, if you are a guinea pig, 5.

What’s the difference between ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’?
That was one of the first questions we ever answered, way back in Episode 2. Unfortunately, that was so long ago that we can’t remember the answer, so you’d better look it up in the dictionary.

I keep reading something about your trip to Luxembourg. What the hell was that about?
This will reveal all.

Why does poo smell of poo?
Because it is full of shit.

When you’re not listening to your own voices, what do you like to listen to?
We like to listen to Martin the Sound Man’s voice, along with some ofthis stuff too.

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?
Have you ever tried making a round box? It is DIFFICULT.

I want to set up my own podcast. Do you have any handy tips?
Funny you should ask…

Do vegans spit or swallow?
They wrap their chewing-gum up and dispose of it properly, in a bin. Because they care for the planet, see.

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