FAQ about AMT
As a question-answering pair of podcasters, we are Frequently Asked Questions. But we are asked some questions more frequently than others, including:
I want to set up my own podcast. Do you have any handy tips?
Here’s a potted guide to get you started. And, when we were asked to talk on this very subject at the Next Radio conference, here’s what we said .
I sent in a question AGES ago and you haven’t answered it. Why?
It’s nothing personal; there are many reasons why your question might not have appeared in the podcast. For instance:
1. We’re too stupid/ill-informed to answer it.
2. We tried to, but were insufficiently amusing or insightful so it landed on the cutting-room floor.
3. We’ve answered the same or similar question in a previous episode.
4. We were lucky enough to receive so many questions that week that we were simply overwhelmed by choice.
5. Your voice was too quiet/the reception was bad/there was too much background noise for us to hear you properly (NB this only applies to submissions over our Question Line, not emails, of course).
6. In doing so, we would get into hot water with the Taste Police, the Commission for Racial Equality, and our mums.
7. Face it: it was a bit shit.
Answer me this: what question should I send in to get on the show?
Definitely not this one. Try harder.
Do you know Martin the Sound Man’s voice sound echoey?
Yes. We’ve been doing this podcast since January 2007, and we’re not deaf.
Why is Martin the Sound Man’s voice echoey?
Some things in this life deserve to remain a mystery.
Why can’t I get your first 120 episodes for free?
In order to bankroll Answer Me This!, we’re selling old episodes from our Classic Episode Shop for 79p each – the same amount as a three-minute pop single on iTunes, but up to TEN TIMES LONGER. However, there will always be dozens of episodes on our free feed to keep you amused.
I like you, and I have an irrational but uncontainable urge to give you money. But I don’t want to buy your old episodes. How can I go about this?
If you insist upon shoving some cash our way, then you can use Paypal to give us a present. Click here to donate and you will receive our sincerest, gushingest thanks in return.
Can I do work experience with you?
It’s very kind of you to ask, but what with our 20-strong hair and make-up retinue, plus the full-time fluffers, there simply isn’t the room for any more unpaid slaves in the AMT studio.
What happened to Graham from Canada?
We don’t actually run long-term surveillance on our listeners. He hasn’t been in touch with us for several years, so we assume that either he hit adolescence and discovered sex, or is in prison for mass murder.
Why don’t you see white dog poo on the streets any more?
In recent years, councils have become more rigorous about making people clear up their dog poo, and also they seem to clean the streets more often. Hence dog poo isn’t left out for weeks on end to fade to whiteness. Either that, or dogs are eating less bleach these days.
Why do so many people ask you about white dog poo?
How do I stop getting put in the ‘friend zone’ by girls?
Find a girl that is actually interested in you.
Do vegans spit or swallow?
They wrap their chewing-gum up and dispose of it properly in a bin, just as non-vegans should.
Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?
Have you ever tried making a round box? It is DIFFICULT.
What is your survival plan for the zombie apocalypse?
We don’t have one, because we DON’T CARE.
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone arranged differently?
No particular reason, other than the manufacturerszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
How old do you have to be to die of old age?
130. Or, if you are a guinea pig, 5.
What’s the difference between ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’?
That was one of the first questions we ever answered, way back in Episode 2. Unfortunately, that was so long ago that we can’t remember the answer, so you’d better look it up in the dictionary.
Why do my sneezes smell bad?
We don’t know; but we do know that you’re not alone. Numerous people suffering from the same affliction seem to have started a support group in the comments section of this post about Olly’s smelly sneezes. Perhaps you could all band together and start a proper forum for smelly sneezers.