A lot of artists suffer from Difficult Second Album syndrome, but not us. Following our Top 20 smash hit longplayer The Answer Me This! Jubilee, we are delighted to bring you…
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new material in celebration of the glorious sporting event that will be wreaking havoc with London’s transport system this summer. Buy it now through iTunes or Amazon.
Join us for a jog through such Olympian questions as what would happen if Boris Johnson dropped the torch, how you can become an Olympic competitor whilst remaining a lazy bastard, how the Ancient Greek athletes prevented their glistening nude flesh from getting sunburn, whether Danny Boyle’s opening ceremony is going to be like this, and why Jewish athletes might be buying haggis shortly before the competition.
We also learn why the men’s Wimbledon trophy is so fruity, how David Attenborough can be blamed for the popularity of snooker, what the chess queen has in common with the Alien queen, what Jack Broughton has in common with Alan Ayckbourn, and what bookies have in common with Abraham Lincoln.
We check in on such record breakers as James Cameron and Lee Redmond, and face the biggest sports question of all: what IS a sport? And do you actually have to get out of your chair to do one?
We must offer big thanks to Sam Pythagoras Pay and Amy Smith for the jingles, which alone are worth the £2.49 RRP. Eg:
NB The Answer Me This! Sports Day is in no way officially affiliated with the London Olympics. They looked at our waist measurements and said there’s no way they could endorse that.
Just two days after release, The Answer Me This! Jubilee is TOP 20 in the iTunes album chart!* So thankyou very much indeed to everybody who has bought it already; and if you feel moved to do the same, click here to buy it off iTunes. UPDATE: it’s now available on Amazon too.
In return for your £2.49 outlay (or equivalent in your native currency), you receive 57 minutes and 55 seconds of all-new Answer Me This!, themed around Her Maj’s upcoming Diamond Jubilee.
Amongst the many questions royally addressed are:
• Could the Queen get away with murder? • What’s the deal with all those 21-gun salutes? • Does the Queen have a mobile phone? • Are you really supposed to pronounce ‘regina’ like ‘vagina’? • Who has seen the Queen’s tits? • Where can I run into Prince Philip on an average day? • What’s the point of the monarchy, anyway? • And what the bloody hell is going on with those nearly nude guys in the Danish monarchy’s coat of arms?
We hope you enjoy it. If you don’t, blame Prince Andrew, like everybody else does.
*Information correct at time of writing. At time of reading, it might have dropped so far out of the iTunes chart that it is outside by the recycling bins.
Of course, you’re already used to getting good advice from us. (Shut up!) But this week, we have some even better advice from broadcasting stalwart Paul Ross, which was instrumental in making Olly Mann the broadcasting stalwart he himself is today. Hear what it was here and here only, in Answer Me This! Episode 152:
This week, we address subjects including:
90s collars
Benson & Hedges
The Saturdays
butterbear
Carr’s water biscuits
yuppie kids
evil spirits
Ciro Citterio
the Queen vs. Pixie Lott
Batman’s wedding
Hong Kong tailors
trangias
Terry’s Chocolate Lemons
ligatures
Warhorse
Ben Stiller’s workwear
the musical cleft
Luciano Pavarotti outstaying his welcome
ball-handlers
the Isle of Arran
and
&.
Furthermore: Olly is a staunch conservative when it comes to the appropriate composition of orange-flavoured foodstuffs; Helen’s innate scruffiness has dashed her telemarketing dreams; and Martin the Sound Man stands up for Tom Stoppard. Meanwhile, over on the app, Gaz from Jedburgh has a question about a problem we’re sure is common to a great many of you: nepotism in the forestry business.
Everyone who got a question answered in today’s episode needs to email us their postal address sharpish, so we can send along a free copy of the Answer Me This! book; everyone else needs to send us a QUESTION to be in with a chance to win a free book, along with an answer, of course. You know what to do: leave a voicemail on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype IDanswermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
This week, in Answer Me This! Episode 146, we turn to prayer. Don’t worry though; we counterbalance that with computer-game sadism.
Appearing this week in our speech are:
exploding Anthea Turner (don’t worry, she survived!) The Daily Bra (a bit NSFW)
‘Whistle While You Work’ vs. ‘Girls and Boys Come Out To Play’ vs. ‘Greensleeves’
Theme Park
Katamari Damacy
you singular vs. you plural
young Mann’s evil marketing ruses
Skype at a wedding
the Siemens TJ 10500 Dressman Spaced
busy Henry VIII
the JFK death-film
and
Queen Victoria’s forbidden thunderbox
Plus: windy Olly has to choose between his girlfriend and his trouser-press; Helen is going to Hell for what she did to the Lord’s Prayer; and Martin the Sound Man says something sensible about balls for once. We’re also delighted to hear that love blooms between you listeners in even the unlikeliest of places (namely facebook.com/answermethis)
Meanwhile, over on the AMT app, there’s a very curious question from Kiki in Manchester about the Amelie-ish discovery of a mysterious photo of a baby surrounded by matchsticks. Have any of you mislaid such a thing? And in this week’s episode of Great British Questions, our toilet humour knows no bounds. The series is now finished, but come back next week for our Great British Outtakes reel.
Next week, in episode 147, we’ll be joined by special guest Ian Collins of the Late Show on talkSPORT; so send your QUESTIONS for Ian (and us) by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype IDanswermethis, or firing off an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.
Rejoice, listeners, for in Answer Me This! Episode 132, your prayers have at last been answered! Well, some of the prayers of some of you, specifically those asking if we could get Andy Zaltzman onto the show. Any other prayers will continue to be in vain, unless we’re backing the wrong horse atheism-wise.
Anyway. It took a lot of form-filling, tear-drenched phone-calls to his agent, and complaining to Mum; but here Andy is:
Inevitably, whenever and wherever Andy speaks, he speaks of sport. But we also manage to shoehorn in:
Wine Gums
Gordon Brown
Denise Van Outen
cricket vs. blogging
Andy vs. Liverpool
curry vs. Martin the Sound Man
surveyors vs. honesty
football hooligans vs. Johannesburg
Beth Ditto
Kim Jong-Il
the Sistine Chapel
pebbledash
and
the real problem with George W Bush.
Plus: Olly decries the cuisine of Spain; Helen tells you how best to decide your vote in the forthcoming election; Martin the Sound Man lines up a new band name for when in-fighting rends The Sound of the Ladies apart; and Andy comes up with an all-too-literal means of how to ask for a lady’s hand in marriage. His wife’s knitting career was brought to an abrupt end when he plighted his troth.
If you want a bit more of Andy in your life, then you can: go to see him do stand-up; listen to his podcast The Bugle, co-starring John Oliver; read his cricket blog; and buy his book. Or you could try marrying in to the Zaltzman family, but almost all vacancies have been filled.
The AMT service returns to normal next week, so please send in your QUESTIONS for the usual treatment – email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. No sport, we beg of you. This episode contained more than the entirety of the rest of our lives combined.
The general election hasn’t even been called yet, and we’re already a bit bored of our tellies and radios yakking on about it! If you are too, rest assured that any mention of politics in Answer Me This! Episode 128 is purely incidental:
On the agenda this week:
more dysfunctional chair-throwing
Her Majesty’s hidden talents
targeting aids
dildonics Kirsty’s Home Videos
melon ballers
Ryan Parry Countdown
Pheidippides
olive forks
draught-exclusion
caves
and
our self-esteems being variously bolstered and broken by the results of last week’s poll.
Plus: Olly sheds light on the Chilcot Inquiry; Helen studies at the Kristen Stewart School of Performing Arts; and Martin the Sound Man perhaps says too much about marginal-interest gentlemen’s mags. Also, if you, like most of us, doubt that anything good can come out of a high school production of Grease, we must direct you to AMT jingle stalwart Gavin Osborn’s song ‘Charlie’s 18th Birthday‘. Heck, listen to it even if you have no beef with Grease.
It merely remains for us to remind you to send us YOUR QUESTIONS, so please do so by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving a voicemail on Skype IDanswermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. Go on, make us (even more) happy!
‘. Heck, listen to it even if you have no beef with Grease.
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
July 2, 2012A lot of artists suffer from Difficult Second Album syndrome, but not us. Following our Top 20 smash hit longplayer The Answer Me This! Jubilee, we are delighted to bring you…
The Answer Me This! Sports Day
59 minutes and 33 seconds of all-new material in celebration of the glorious sporting event that will be wreaking havoc with London’s transport system this summer. Buy it now through iTunes or Amazon.
We also learn why the men’s Wimbledon trophy is so fruity, how David Attenborough can be blamed for the popularity of snooker, what the chess queen has in common with the Alien queen, what Jack Broughton has in common with Alan Ayckbourn, and what bookies have in common with Abraham Lincoln.
We check in on such record breakers as James Cameron and Lee Redmond, and face the biggest sports question of all: what IS a sport? And do you actually have to get out of your chair to do one?
We must offer big thanks to Sam Pythagoras Pay and Amy Smith for the jingles, which alone are worth the £2.49 RRP. Eg:
NB The Answer Me This! Sports Day is in no way officially affiliated with the London Olympics. They looked at our waist measurements and said there’s no way they could endorse that.
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