Hey, you! Yes, you – the man with the insecurity about your penis size! How would you like a new app that tells you how yours is the smallest wang in the world, and your ideal condom size is ‘Mouse Tail’? Well, colour yourself lucky – because today we tell you how to slim down your self-esteem by up to 100% in Answer Me This! Episode 244:
We also speak of:
carb crimes in Costco
Bieber vs. Prince
Simon vs. Garfunkel
homemade peanut butter
the green ink brigade
two thousand and late.
Plus: Olly wants to reclaim the red pen from censorious teachers and proofreaders; Helen makes good bread with her rough unfeminine hands; and Martin the Sound Man is all about the bell curve, laydeez.
Furthermore, if you’ve ever longed to hear Olly and Martin percussing their way through ‘The Boxer’ and ‘Born To Run’, you’re quids in! That is, you’re willing to expend two quids to get the AMTapp and thus this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android).
See you next Thursday,
Helen & Olly
PS For revision purposes, here’s that Bieber-wets-himself video for ‘Beauty and the Beat’:
ALBUMS • iTUNES • CLASSIC EPISODES • BOOK • QUESTION ARCHIVE • FAQ
iPHONE APP • ANDROID APP • FACEBOOK • TWITTER • YOUTUBE • MERCH
Tags: 1999, airports, Arrested Development, Art Garfunkel, Black Eyed Peas, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Bright Eyes, Busted, Cadbury's, careers, charity, chocolate, colours, confectionary, cookery, Cornwall, Costco, crime, cucumber, dates, dating, disappointment, discharge, etymology, female ejaculation, food, Frasier, fundraisers, fundraising, genitalia, genitals, Gherkin, gherkins, Globe theatre, Graceland, gurkhas, handwriting, Hear'Say, Heston Blumenthal, homemade, Hunting of the Snark, immigration, ink, Jar Jar Binks, Jewfro, Jingle All The Way, Joanna Lumley, josie long, Justin Bieber, ladyparts, law, Lemonheads, Lincoln, love, lyrics, marriage, mayonnaise, medieval, Midlands, Mike Batt, misheard lyrics, Mr Wendal, Mrs Robinson, Nepal, Nicki Minaj, nuts, opposite sex, orgasms, parents, parties, partying, passports, Paul Simon, peanut butter, peanuts, penis size, pens, Plantagenets, pop, potatoes, prayer, prince, Prince Harry, procreation, raffles, recipes, relationships, rum, Sada, Seattle, sex, Shard, shopping, shops, Simon and Garfunkel, single, songs, songwriting, soulmates, statistics, success, supermarket, tall buildings, the future, The Sound of Silence, Thorntons, time travel, Twinkies, USA, Usher, UV, validation, Watford, Wolverhampton, words, Year 3000