father and son

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Another listener has found herself in a sex pickle. Inger writes:

When my last relationship ended after two years, I decided to do some proper dating (following an acceptable period of “grief”, of course) and a few weeks into the dating life I found myself dating two men regularly at the same time. One of these men was around 25 years older than me and the other my own age, and as I am a honest person I told both men that I was dating the other.

After about 6 weeks I went to the older man’s house for dinner, and as I arrived he was still cooking (a fantastic three-course meal) so I wandered around in his house looking at pictures and trinkets he had in his shelves. I reached a shelf with photos of him and a little boy, I figured it was his son (whom I did not know about) and as I moved along the shelf the little boy grew older and to my horror I realized (about mid-shelf) that it was the other man I was dating.

I sat through the whole dinner knowing that I was dating his son as well and then came up with the fastest excuse to get me out of there. So, Helen and Olly, answer me this: what is the hell do I do now?

Firstly, Inger, check you’re not starring in a sitcom.

Secondly, find some other people to date and discard both of these men immediately. Unless you want your life to turn into an actual farce, you don’t want to keep seeing one of them in case the relationship becomes serious and you have to endure a hideous meeting-the-family scenario – and all the subsequent meetings with the family forever after. And really, would you be able to cavort sexually with either of them again without being beset by such thoughts as, “Hey, my other lover came out of those very nuts!” or, “That’s not as big as his dad’s”?

Don’t worry about them too much, they can comfort each other.

Readers, what would you do? Become celibate? Keep this set-up going? Sell your story to Chat magazine? Elaborate in the comments.

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2 Responses to “father and son”

  1. Joe Stormer Says:

    You didn’t do anything wrong here, Inger, and neither did anybody else. But maybe ask yourself: would these two men be jealous to meet your other partner, even if they hadn’t been related? If so, that shit’s not going anywhere so have your fun with them and never meet the family. It’s none of their damned business who else you date.

    But if these men are comfortably non-monogamous in their relationships, they should be able to meet your other partner without being jealous. Does this mean that they would be comfortable knowing that that other partner was their dad or son? Hell, I don’t know. Maybe. But figure it out quick; the longer you think about it the harder it’ll get.

    If I were you, I’d send them a text to each saying, “I have realized that the other man I am dating is your (father/son). Is this going to work for you?” Sit back, wait, and remember: hope for the best, prepare for the worst, and always have realistic expectations.

    One thing is for sure: you have a type.

  2. James C. Says:

    Seriously, how does this question not make it into the show?

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