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As usual, weddings are festering piles of problems for our listeners. Mary from Doncaster writes:
I am chief bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding in September. It is the second wedding for them both so we’re all in our 40s (ish).
I have two young children and live a little way away so my friend has arranged for local friends to help organise the Hen Party. This was going really well and I was just left with the task of organising a few silly ideas for the night do, but now one of the party has started buying embarrassing dare games etc which really don’t suit our hen and will be quite embarrassing on the night.
Answer me this, how do I approach this friend and tell her to stop and leave the rest to me?!!
Er…don’t? With these things, it’s easier either to do the whole thing yourself, or stay out of it, and since logistics have steered you largely towards the latter, you can see how the local friends think the party is their domain.
Also, it is thoroughly occasion-appropriate for there to be at least one game to embarrass the hen. I mean, usually I wouldn’t voluntarily play the Mr and Mrs Game, but at my own hen party I understood that the gentle humiliation was all part of the
ordealprocess. I’m not suggesting that the hen do ought to be some sort of emotional boot camp for the bride, but it is a ripe opportunity for normal form to be temporarily suspended. Penis-shaped straws, for instance: do you willingly drink through them at any other time? (“Yes Helen! Here at the urology department we refuse to imbibe through anything else.”)
Not convinced, Mary? Then collaboration rather than rivalry is the way to go. If you can’t meet up with the other organiser(s) face to face, have a fun phone chat where you can insinuate your concerns about the dare games, but suggest a suitable alternative with at least a dash of sauce. Even if you don’t want to, other members of the group may desire to make the most of this chance to kick back and forget their Proper Grown-Up Responsible Lives for one night.
But I admit I have never been a bridesmaid (whyyyyy, do all my friends hate me?) and I’m not much of a team player, so haven’t ever contended with this situation myself. Therefore I entreat you readers to deliver advice. Comments. Go. Now!