new wedding rituals

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Wedding questions are still being flung at us like a barrage of confetti. George and Jackie from Indianapolis write:

We are planning a wedding and like the idea of a unity ritual. However, we think the candle lighting and sand mixing is sort of silly. Do you have any suggestions?

Er, a wedding IS a unity ritual. Do you need to have a unity ritual within a unity ritual? You do? OK, OK… I’m a bad person to ask about this, because even the standard procedures at a wedding are too ritualistic for me. But readers, go to the comments and recommend or invent something delightful for George and Jackie to do, stopping short of humping in front of the congregation.

The bride and groom approach the ceremonial bidet

The bride and groom approach the ceremonial bidet

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3 Responses to “new wedding rituals”

  1. SoRefined Says:

    I went to a wedding not too long ago where the bride and groom sealed a letter to each other and a nice bottle of wine in a box to be opened in five years. That’s the gist, you’ll find a more elaborate explanation if you search for “love letter and wine box ceremony” and I’m sure some enterprising soul near you has a kit for it, too.

    Apparently you nail the box shut together, but I don’t remember the bride and groom at the wedding I am thinking of doing that.

  2. tubbydammer Says:

    Swap one of your kidneys with each other, so you’ll always have a part of your partner inside you.

  3. jarthurstormer Says:

    piñata.

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