The scales fall from our eyes, and eggs

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rattlesnake-saf-med

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Kodi and Matt write:

We are on a long road trip, and the other day while in New Mexico or Arizona on I-10, we were in a gas station and saw rattlesnake eggs for sale.

Why would you buy rattlesnake eggs? What purpose would they serve?

Also, a note on the packaging said to keep cool to prevent hatching. They were on the counter in a hot room.

Firstly, what purpose is served by almost any souvenir? I never got any use out of the gold plastic gondola from Venice or the tiny furry drum from South Africa or the kangaroo scrote purse from Sydney. The rattlesnake eggs are on sale so that you can buy them, dump them on a shelf at home, then wait for someone to say, “What are those?” whereupon you say, “Rattlesnake eggs!” and they say, “Ooh! I hope they don’t hatch!” then you carry on watching Take Me Out.

BUT.

Here’s the real sting in the tail:

Rattlesnakes give birth to LIVE YOUNG.

Which means…

RATTLESNAKES DON’T LAY EGGS!

Pull a handbrake turn, zoom back up the I-10, and launch a full inquiry at this gas station. You clearly can’t trust their tourist tat, so what else are they fraudulently selling? Their ‘gas’ is probably watered down Bisto.

On the plus side, you don’t have to worry about that hot room making those fake eggs hatch.

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4 Responses to “The scales fall from our eyes, and eggs”

  1. خرید کریو Says:

    very good

  2. Martin Says:

    If you google “joke rattlesnake eggs envelope” you will find your answer. It’s a practical joke you can purchase, not actual eggs.

    You may have also spotted Snappy Chewing Gum next to it. Not a US brand of chewing gum. Nor was the Whoopee Cushion a special celebratory cushion for travellers.

  3. Alex Says:

    I’ve seen gumballs labeled as rattlesnake eggs. This is a wonderful way to impress or torture gullible children or siblings.

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