Archive for the ‘help!’ Category

sweary child

October 14, 2009

** Click here for Episode 112 **

Oh, the shame of it.

We have caused a little problem for ‘Luxembourg’s Hottest Hausfrau’, Vanessa from Luxembourg from Episode 77, regarding her son Tom from Luxembourg, from whom we also heard in Episode 72:

As you know, my son Tom of Luxembourg fame and his dad listen to your show, however Tom has been swearing quite a lot and I fear you guys may have contributed to this.

I am struggling to find a suitable punishment, other than ban him from listening to your show but then his dad would let him listen anyway so that’s pointless. I could shove a bar of soap in his mouth, squirt washing up liquid down his throat. I have thought of having a swear box and fining him but he has no money.

Can you answer me this: How would you two stop an 11-year-old boy swearing?

Well, evidently we can only cause the opposite effect; so readers, any ideas?

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Cohabitation tips for Andria

June 3, 2009

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** Click here for EPISODE 97 **

We’ve had a call for help from Andria from Texas (soon to be from Minnesota):

I am moving in with my fiance in a few weeks so answer me this, what advice would you give to someone who has never lived with a man (other than my dad) before? How can I make this transition smoother for both of us?

I would say you ought to remember to a) have arguments loudly enough that your neighbours can enjoy them; b) not confuse cleaning with something actually emotionally important; and c) not show too much interest in his mysterious locked cupboard, because frankly you will be much happier not knowing – it’ll either contain corpses or pornography. But readers, what would YOU say is the key to happy cohabitation? Let Andria know in a comment below!

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Helen’s filthy mouth comes back to bite her (as it were)

May 6, 2009

** Click here for EPISODE 93 **

the future of Answer Me This?

the future of Answer Me This?

Here’s something disheartening from Tom:

I play Halo 3 online and I listen to Answer Me This! while I play. One time a couple of weeks ago my mum was eating her tea while I was playing. After about five minutes my mum told me to turn Answer Me This! off. When I asked why, she said because that woman (Helen) has such a filthy mouth. Over the last couple of weeks I’ve tried to convince her that Helen is a nice person and is just being funny.

So answer me this: how can I convince my mum that Helen is a nice person, and that Martin is the disgusting crude one?

A salutary lesson for us all at Answer Me This!; but aside from us actually changing our ways and our vocabulary, how can we restore the favour of Tom’s mum? Advise us by posting a comment below!

(Also, while my own verbiage could certainly be cleaned up, Martin CLEARLY has the pottiest mouth in the podcast by a mucky mile.)

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do-gooding

March 11, 2009

Mother Teresa

Since we are lazy bastards who don’t do much for the good of the world, we are in great admiration of those that do. Like Jason from Liverpool here:

I am doing this thing called World Challenge, where I go to South Africa for a month to help a few villages. But the problem is raising the money – I have got to earn £2800 for it. How will I possibly earn that much? I’m only 15!

Given that we spend most of our working hours on an unpaid hobby, it’s fair to say that we are the wrong people to ask about fundraising – but perhaps you lot are full of fine ideas, that are both suitable and possible for a 15-year-old? Please do the right thing and comment below!

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