FAQ about AMT

As a question-answering pair of podcasters, we are Frequently Asked Questions. But we are asked some questions more frequently than others, including:

I want to set up my own podcast. Do you have any handy tips?
Here’s a potted guide to get you started. And, when we were asked to talk on this very subject at the Next Radio conference, here’s what we said .

Why are your jingles so damn catchy?
Because Martin the Sound Man and the Answer Me This! players are musical marvels.

Why is your email address answermethispodcast@googlemail.com rather than answermethispodcast@gmail.com?

At the time we set it up (late 2006), Google wasn’t letting people in Britain set up @gmail.com addresses.

Yeah but now they do, why don’t you change it?

Those catchy jingles you asked about above – you’d dump those, would you? Of course you wouldn’t!

I sent in a question AGES ago and you haven’t answered it. Why?
It’s nothing personal; there are many reasons why your question might not have appeared in the podcast. For instance:
1. We’re too stupid/ill-informed to answer it.
2. We tried to, but were insufficiently amusing or insightful so it landed on the cutting-room floor.
3. We’ve answered the same or similar question in a previous episode.
4. We were lucky enough to receive so many questions that we were simply overwhelmed by choice.
5. a. When you called the Question Line, your voice was too quiet/the reception was bad/there was too much background noise for us to hear you properly/you were standing in a strong wind. b. Your email was totally incomprehensible/blank.
6. In doing so, we would get into hot water with the Taste Police, the Commission for Racial Equality, and our mums.
7. Admit it: it was a bit shit.

Answer me this: what question should I send in to get on the show?
Definitely not this one. Try harder.

Do you know Martin the Sound Man’s voice sound echoey?
Yes. We’ve been doing this podcast since January 2007, and we’re not deaf.

Why is Martin the Sound Man’s voice echoey?
Some things in this life deserve to remain a mystery.

Why can’t I get all of your episodes for free?
In order to bankroll Answer Me This!, we’re selling old episodes from our store for 79p each – the same amount as a three-minute pop single on iTunes, but up to TEN TIMES LONGER. However, there will always be at least 100 episodes on our free feed to keep you amused.

I like you, and I have an irrational but uncontainable urge to give you money. But I don’t want to buy your old episodes. How can I go about this?
If you insist upon shoving some cash our way, then you can use Paypal to give us a present. Click here to donate and you will receive our sincerest, gushingest thanks in return.

Can I do work experience with you?
It’s very kind of you to ask, but what with our 20-strong hair and make-up retinue, plus the full-time fluffers, there simply isn’t the room for any more unpaid slaves in the AMT studio.

What happened to Graham from Canada?

We don’t actually run long-term surveillance on our listeners. He hasn’t been in touch with us for several years, so we assume that either he hit adolescence and discovered sex, or is in prison for mass murder.

I want more Dave from Smethwick! Why won’t you let me have more Dave from Smethwick?

See above – we can only give you what our questioneers choose to give to us. Dave is some sort of Midlands angel who only visits every few months or so.

Why don’t you see white dog poo on the streets any more?
In recent years, councils have become more rigorous about making people clear up their dog poo, and also they seem to clean the streets more often. Hence dog poo isn’t left out for weeks on end to fade to whiteness. Either that, or dogs are eating less bleach these days.

Why do so many people ask you about white dog poo?
[shrug]

How do I stop getting put in the ‘friend zone’ by girls?
Find a girl that is actually interested in you.

Do vegans spit or swallow?
They wrap their chewing-gum up and dispose of it properly in a bin, just as non-vegans should.

Why do round pizzas come in square boxes?
Have you ever tried making a round box? It is DIFFICULT.

What is your survival plan for the zombie apocalypse?
We don’t have one, because we DON’T CARE.

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone arranged differently?
No particular reason, other than the manufacturerszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

How old do you have to be to die of old age?
130. Or, if you are a guinea pig, 5.

What’s the difference between ‘flammable’ and ‘inflammable’?
That was one of the first questions we ever answered, way back in Episode 2. Unfortunately, that was so long ago that we can’t remember the answer, so you’d better look it up in the dictionary.

Why do my sneezes smell bad?
We don’t know; but we do know that you’re not alone. Numerous people suffering from the same affliction seem to have started a support group in the comments section of this post about Olly’s smelly sneezes. Perhaps you could all band together and start a proper forum for smelly sneezers.

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23 Responses to “FAQ about AMT”

  1. Holli Says:

    Hey I just downloaded the app for my road trip around America, I can’t figure out how to download the episodes for offline use .. Anyone give me a hand? Thanks guys X – Holli

  2. gerg Says:

    Where’s the rss feed?

  3. Johnny Says:

    *drove me crazy and was really annoying

  4. Johnny Says:

    Liked the sound of the podcast, some parts really funny and interesting but the echo drove was really annoying so turned it off which is a shame.

    • Alex Says:

      I’m sticking with the podcast because I enjoy the content and now find myself caring about Helen, Olly and Martin, but if I could give one bit of feedback (which I suspect you won’t change anything from, but hey) – it’s that I find Martin and his echo really difficult to understand/listen to. Would much prefer it if Martin wasn’t echoed

  5. james burton Says:

    er tell me every freaky week i listen to your strangely addictive programme and every week you pose two questions at the intro. who oh why the fuck why do you never ever never fricking ever answer them? james xxxxx

  6. suedegambit Says:

    When I try to buy the Android app from the Amazon App store – it says that it’s not available in my region. I’m in the UK btw. Buying it on my ipad instead… sigh…

    • Margaret Thomson Says:

      I have the same problem … I am in NZ and have a lovely android phone and no Ipad and keep getting told by Amazon that I can’t buy your app because I am outside the geographic region !!!!!
      Can you please make the app available on the Android Market as well ??? Pretty please ??? https://market.android.com/

      • helenzaltzman Says:

        we would love to, believe me! Unfortunately it is not in our hands, but in those of the app developer, Libsyn. It seems a few weeks ago they had some mysterious falling-out with the Android marketplace, since when they’ve not been selling any apps through there at all.

        So, we’re very sorry, and hopefully Libsyn will sort themselves out soon…

        • suedegambit Says:

          No problem – good luck! Enjoying the iPad app anyway 🙂

          BTW – I’m the one with the new ‘piss take’ question on the phone line – although I’m sure that’s been asked before…

  7. Larry GT Says:

    Gaah ! but why is it so hard to find the RSS feed ????!!!! Why not on the first page techno chums ?

  8. David Says:

    I am 51 or 52 (I forget) AMT is the best thing I have heard on the internet (or the radio). Am I too old…..will my grown up kids think I am an embarrassment because I keep making their friends listen to it when they come round?

  9. Jamie Says:

    I Hate Orlando Bloom…

    But I love Helen and Ollys Podcast!

  10. Tony Says:

    An actual question: What’s the podcast URL? I’m turning my back on Itunes and using Media Monkey, but need to update my podcasts with the URLs.

  11. Ryan Smith Says:

    PS – I’m from Hereford

  12. Ryan Smith Says:

    I just wanted to write something – I’m lonely.

  13. alex from belfast Says:

    thursday

  14. Chelsea From Wisconsin Says:

    What day to you record the podcast?

  15. Terry Chisholm Says:

    Do you take adverts on the podcast, such as – This week’s show is sponsored by… ??????

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