Posts Tagged ‘Apple’

EPISODE 339: The Master Baker

September 8, 2016

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All hail the greatest Middleton sibling – not the one that begat the next generation of royals; not the one with 2011’s favourite bottom; the Marshmallow King!

He appears in Answer Me This! Episode 339, alongside such topics as:

Jaffa cakes
Pringles cakes
The Great British Bake Off vs the Pillsbury Bake-Off
QR codes
MILF money
emergency services before 999
Thomas Edison electrocuting animals (but not an elephant)
spotted dick dogs
and
the state of being on fleek.

Plus: Olly would happily forgo the best thing about Dalmatians, the wally; Helen ponders making an augmented reality patchwork quilt; and Martin the Sound Man needs praise ASAP – it’s an emergency!

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available on iThings, Android and Windows devices – sees Helen trying to get in on the Pippa Middleton party book business.

For more royal infotainment, get the AMT Jubilee album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also find our other albums, and our first 200 episodes. If you need further noises in your life, get yourself a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Today’s episode was sponsored by the whacking great text adventure game Fallen London, which you can play in browser or app; but you’ll get some in-game freebies if you sign up at failbettergames.com/answers.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 22 September with AMT340,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT339 Child-Friendly Rating: 57%
Mentions drug use and contains a couple of strong swears, but no bawdy talk. •••


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EPISODE 334: Earth Mysteries

June 30, 2016

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While Britain Brexits, the rest of us brick it. Well, one listener certainly does, as the proud owner of a single brick. Congratulations, that man! We’re glad one listener in Answer Me This! Episode 334 is happy, at least. Others have trouble with:

public sex
haircuts in space
Apple Store geniuses
buttercups
the Pilton Glastonbury Festival
gravity vs hair-washing
wind chimes
ambient noise apps
queening
Eiffel Towering
Jeff Lynne
and
the price of clay.

Plus: Olly attends a Barry Manilow rally; Helen makes clear the relationship between her and podcast listeners; and Martin the Sound Man manages to sully both sexy role play and the Apple Store in one line.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices), Olly is perplexed by the logistics of ‘queening’, and we wonder about the admin of having a particularly thrilling sex life.

For an easier-to-organise thrill, get the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200. And treat yourself to a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible, to drown out the sound of Britain sticking its hand into the toaster and screaming with surprise when it hurts.

You can also spot a bit of Glastonbury in the Romance instalment of our Great* British Questions series of videos from a few years ago.

*sob!

Oh, and Martin did a song about a brick.

Got questions? Call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 14 July with AMT335,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT334 Child-Friendly Rating: 5%. Contains the earliest swear ever in an episode of AMT. Blame Brexit. •••

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EPISODE 325: Human Endurance Range Extender

October 15, 2015

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Today’s questioneers face ruin: browser history ruining a surprise; other people ruining the choice of baby names; and ruining your own chances of shagging a houseguest. Don’t ruin your own life by failing to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 325, in which we also discuss:

circus music
baby names
the Stocks app
Apple Maps vs Google Maps
James Cameron vs bladder control
Martin’s eggy Instagram
deep sea submersibles
Greenpeace up the Shard
sleeping arrangements
and
Tom from MySpace.

Plus: Olly would like you to listen to him present the Guardian’s Tech Weekly and The Media Podcast; Helen is currently releasing new doses of The Allusionist EVERY WEEK; and Tom Waits fans should sprint to hear Martin the Sound Man’s Song By Song podcast (and there’s a Heart Of Saturday Night listening party in the heart of this coming Saturday night, or at least evening, so do join).

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – we reveal the moral cesspit at the heart of that classic Martin Clunes film Staggered.

Open your moral cesspit hearts to us by sending us your questions! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and deliver your emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 29th October 2015 with AMT326.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT325 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Quite a lot of swears, sorry. Vaguely sexual question at the end. •••

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EPISODE 285 – God’s a troll

March 13, 2014

MESSAGE FROM THE MOTHERSHIP:
If you downloaded AMT285 very soon after it was released, you may have ended up with a version that is rather longer or considerably shorter than the correct AMT285-length of 42 minutes 45 seconds. If so, please delete it and obtain the proper one, as linked to below. Thanks! HZ

In response to AMT284, the first few minutes of Answer Me This! Episode 285 are SO exciting, you should listen RIGHT NOW:

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But do carry on listening beyond the first few minutes, to hear about:

Torn‘ by Natalie Imbruglia vs ‘Torn‘ by Ednaswap
Randy Newman vs Tom Jones
the Recycle Bin vs Trash
rawl plugs vs wall plugs
Lizzy Yarnold
Magic FM
saloon doors
Mini Babybel
Hazard‘ by Richard Marx
the face of fistula
and
magnolia paint.

Plus, there’s a manliness contest between Olly and Martin the Sound Man. Which of these opposite-of-Titans is the least masculine? It’s a VERY close contest. Like a boxing match between a wet lettuce leaf and a fluffy sock.

There’s double Crap on the App this week, as Olly chooses chateaubriand over speakeasies (whither the gastrospeakeasy?), then says gardening’s for girls, even though he’s got a grow-your-own Alan Titchmarsh. Fire up the app on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgetry.

Fire your QUESTIONS to the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and our inbox via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Also fire up Squarespace.com, who have not only given us money to make this episode but are also giving YOU a 10% discount off their services for a whole year if you use the code answer3.

Back in a fortnight!

Helen & Olly

AMT285 Child-Friendly Rating: 52%. The topics aren’t unsuitable, but two f-bombs are detonated in the first ten minutes. Miscellanous other swears appear towards the end, when discussing the vile names Martin the Sound Man gives to computer things. So blame Martin for the defilement of your children if they hear this episode.



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Best of AMT 2012 part II

December 20, 2012

We hope you enjoyed the Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part I last week. If you did, you’ll also enjoy The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II, and if you didn’t, maybe you’ll prefer The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II. Either way, you should listen to The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we meet again our auld acquaintances:

Phantom of the Opera
Hamlet Hamlet
Prince Philip’s bladder
Killer Net
Angela Lansbury fantasies
R Kelly’s fancy parties
the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution
Devon vs Cornwall scone wars
sex Jenga
the Owl and the Pussycat
the 21st-century Sweeney Todd
Olly’s solo sex tape
Helen taking an off-brand fruit into the Apple store
and
Charlie’s Angles.

And there are more previously unheard bits of AMT, which you can have more of every week if you posess the AMT App, available for iDevices and Android – on which you also get our Best Of episodes from the past five years, if you trawl through diligently enough.

Please be generous with your QUESTIONS for AMT in 2013: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

We’ll be back on 10th January 2013, but you can still hear plenty of us before then:

We’ll be running through the year’s biggest online events on Saturday Edition, BBC 5 Live 8pm 29th December or available shortly after as the Let’s Talk About Tech podcast.

Olly will be Manning the microphone on LBC 97.3 FM, 1-4am most nights from Xmas Eve to Jan 3rd – check lbc.co.uk for the schedule, and rouse yourself from your festive stupor to give him a call and keep him company.

Helen will crop up on BBC 5 Live’s Radio Review of 2012, hosted by Jane Garvey and Mike Sweeney, which will be broadcast on at 11pm on Christmas Eve, repeated 4pm on Christmas Day, or, if you want to listen at a more sensible time, it’ll be available on the 5 Live website straight after.

You can hear us discussing Christmas gadgets and songs on Steve Wright in the Afternoon on BBC Radio 2 on 20th December. UPDATE: Here’s the link to the item on iPlayer.

And we wrote some bits for the Celebrity Juice Christmas Specials; part one is already on ITV Player and part two will follow on tonight.

We hope you have very happy festivities, and we’ll see you next year!

Helen & Olly

PS if you need more noise to drown out the sound of sleighbells and Wizzard, direct yourself to our Jubilee and Sports Day albums, as well as AMT1-120.

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Best of AMT 2012 part I

December 13, 2012

Hey guys! Remember when we…? And that time when…? And that thing where…? Ah, good times. So many good times! Please join us in reliving half of them in The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part I:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we reacquaint ourselves with such beloved old friends as:

The Elves and the Shoemaker
Fabio and Fabio
Hong King Disney
nurse fantasies
the Elgin Marbles
PATP
the seawater cure
Will.I.Am’s nursery rhymes
Pink Lady apples
sexy snowgirls
mad neighbours
bloody Big Bird and dead Kes
Helen’s childhood crush on Inspector Morse
Olly’s kidney
and
Martin the Sound Man’s blue girlfriend.

Plus: drunk callers! Parping! D*ve from Sm*thw*ck!!! And if you enjoyed the assemblage of previously unheard material, ie the blooper reel, you can hear more of that sort of thing every week if you obtain the AMT app for your iDevices and Android.

Join us again next Thursday for the second half of our annual retrospective, and do also supply us with QUESTIONS for AMT 2013. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

Bye!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 226 – the sentimental stain

August 2, 2012

Guys. Why are you bothering with the London Olympics, when you need to preserve your energy for the year’s most important contest? That’s right – the British Firework Championships are only days away! And at least one of Team AMT should be looking to start a new career there, as we discover in Answer Me This! Episode 226. Prepare to detonate:

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Also going off in the episode:

Mass Market Muesli
clutch bags for the Third World
immersive theatre
psychic jurors
hipster aprons
teacher sadism by proxy
Routemaster buses
the Penguin
Shwopping vs. consumerism
Captain Hook vs. Gordon Ramsay
us vs. Bob Dylan
and
‘London’s Best Scare Experience 2008-2011’.

Plus: Olly has a damp stinky manbag; Helen errs by bringing actual fruit to the Apple store; and Martin the Sound Man recommends not trying to multitask during sexual activity if you’re a novice.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Kenny, about whether he was wrong to fuck over his work buddy in order to score a promotion. Is it a fair case of survival of the fittest, or survival of the fuckiest? Find out on iDevices and Android.

You can also find out a whole lot if you listen to the AMT Sports Day. Most of that lot will be about sport, but since the Olympics is currently in full swing, you’d only be having to listen to sports commentators rabbiting on anyway whenever you turn on the television. Us or them, US OR THEM???

It only remains for us to ask you to ask us something: send your QUESTIONS as voicemails to the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or as emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 219 – Sky Atlantis

June 14, 2012

Hi listeners!

We’re picking up good vibrations (good, good, good, good vibrations, oooh bop bop, good vibrations) in Answer Me This! Episode 219, thanks to one of our listeners sending us a Groupon offer for Power Plate sessions.

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This week we consider:

gratuitous nudity
sexy playing cards
bomb shelters
Sliding Doors, alternative version
abetting child criminals
Joseph ‘Giuseppe’ Pinetti
Apple Paltrow Martin
subtitles
Slendertone vs. exercise for cosmonauts
and
Ceefax.

Plus: Olly believes china shops should tolerate, nay welcome, his unapologetic vandalism; fun-hating Helen eschews murder mystery parties, entertainment at weddings, and jiggling in public; and Martin the Sound Man is still imploring you to enter his competition to be the Science Songwriter of the Future, which sounds a bit like being the artist-in-residence on the International Space Station, but is in fact much more straightforward and does not require you to urinate into a funnel. Although, the prize includes a trip to the Green Man festival, so a funnel might prove more hygienic than a Portaloo.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) recounts some incredible facts about jubilees, such as how they used to lead to famine, and how the Queen was probably wasted on hers. This seems a suitable point to mention that the Answer Me This! Jubilee is at last available to buy on Amazon. You may think it a bit late for Jubilee Fever now, but we’ve got a £50 bet on the Queen reaching her Platinum Jubilee, so consider the album 15 years ahead of its time rather than two weeks behind.

If you want more AMT next week, send us a QUESTION: emails should be sent to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and voicemails left on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 213 – the gastronomic Human Centipede 2

May 3, 2012

¡Hola!

There’s been a lot of talk of Mexican food lately on Answer Me This!. We make no apologies for this. It is a magnificent cuisine. Episode 213 continues the theme, as we chomp on the history of nachos; click below to chomp on the episode:

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Other topics of the day include:

joke thieves
Issey Miyake
the premiere of HMS Pinafore
Arab Strap vs. The Boy With the Arab Strap
police on horseback vs. police on stilts
tortillas vs. tortilla chips
the Edinbugh Tattoo vs. Edinburgh tattoos.
D’Oyly Carte
air shows
and
saving Greece with yoghurt-based tourism.

Plus: Olly apparently spends a lot of time looking at horses’ privates; Helen concocts an unusual analogy for Oliver Cromwell and the, er, Roundheads; and Martin the Sound Man somehow enjoys the company of this dickhead, who is likely to be cited as the co-respondent when Helen files the divorce papers.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) is a question from Harriet in York, concerning the self-replicating Magnum Infinity. Soon to be rebranded the Magnum Metaphor after an investigation by the Advertising Standards Authority.

There is additional noise for you to enjoy this week courtesy of Martin and the FIFTIETH episode of his Sound of the Ladies podcast. It’s a song about bears or Creation Records or something – click here to check it out.

Then, formulate a QUESTION and send it to us, as a voicemail to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 211 – do you want finalisation?

April 19, 2012

Hello again, hello!

There may be a drought across much of England, but the podcast drought is OVER. For we have returned from our break, and Answer Me This! Episode 211:

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We talk upon such subjects as:

the Trachtenburg Family Slideshow Players
Las Vegas for squares
those cool Chinese takeaway cartons
piratical weddings
theme bars
crazy neighbours
wash vs. pre-wash
three-pin vs. two-pin
Ludwig Müller vs. Ludwig Müller
Nazi spectacles
and
sexy bumblebees.

Plus: with his usual acumen, Olly proposes how to transform a psychotic neighbour problem into a business opportunity; Helen’s parents are being very thrifty with the internet, so that the IP addresses don’t all run out on their account; and we should clarify that Martin the Sound Man’s former job, which he describes as ‘making a man with a tube up his penis laugh’, was in the field of medical physics, not stand-up comedy for catheter fetishists.

Because one pot is never enough, there’s also more about Müller Yogurt on this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android), including their contribution to West Midlands athleticism, and their retrograde marketing wheezes. They might be 116 years old, but they’ve still got it.

If you haven’t already, please do take a punt on our Top 20 (!!) album, The Answer Me This! Jubilee, comprised of fifty-seven minutes of all-new material in anticipation of the Queen’s jubblies. You can also hear us on the latest episode of Ewan Spence’s ESC Insight podcast – no, that’s not ESC as in the Electrical Safety Council or the Essex Skating Club, but the Eurovision Song Contest. Click here to listen, and hear how we rated some of the songs vying for Eurovisionary Glory this year.

After all that, do remember to send us your QUESTIONS with which we will fuel this new series of AMT: aim voicemails at the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and emails at answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 191 – the enemy of creases

September 8, 2011

Well, listeners, this is it. The last episode for a month – Answer Me This! Episode 191:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In our last yaps before shutting up for a month, we speak of:

Gossip Girl‘s out-of-character choice of search engine
Tate & Lyle
Envirofone
Jon Snow’s laptop
cinder toffee
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Samson speed-dating
iPhones vs. traditional toilet reading
bio vs. non-bio
blue plastic champagne flutes vs. classiness
Rihanna’s Navy vs. Bruno Mars’s Hooligans vs. K£sha’s Animals
female magnets
and
paediatric brine.

Plus: Olly reveals the secret to his Oxford success – York Notes; Helen has worrying plans to become a major soak over the break; and Martin the Sound Man will be jetting off to space on the back of the Philips Man Iron. Brrrrm brrm!

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is about newsreader Kay Burley’s eggs, which are available exclusively to denizens of the Sky News make-up room – unlike the AMT app, which is available to any old chump with an iPhone, iPad or Android device.

Though we are off-air for a month, we’ll still be updating this site, and more importantly collecting QUESTIONS for the new series. So send them along, by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We hope you have a smashing month, and we’ll you on October 13th, bright and early!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 173 – drunk in charge of a horse

March 31, 2011

Dear listeners,

Thankyou for waiting patiently for Answer Me This! Episode 173 while Olly disports himself on a spa break. You’ll be pleased to know he is now fully refreshed, like a man half his age, albeit one with the hobbies of a woman twice his age. Anyway, without further ado, on to the episode:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Ruining the serene majesty of silence is chitchat about:

the 2011 census mystery
Nigerian spammers
the All Seeing I
Rapa Nui pissing contests
c@fes
the 1872 Licensing Act
Sir Neville Francis Fitzgerald Chamberlain
self-proclaimed Jedis
Mr Punch vs. fruit punch
prehistoric vs. historic
Buffy vs. rabbits
jujitsu vs. bridge
Pyramid Pool vs. Life Pool
i- vs. e-
2001 – A Space Odyssey vs. Snog Marry Avoid
Kane Kramer
self-defence in Ikea
mobility scooters
outside toilets
and
the old man’s coconut.

Plus: if Olly ever decides to take a wife, the lucky lady in question must gird herself for a truly alarming musical interlude on their wedding day; Helen debases herself to try to wangle a replacement iPod; and Martin the Sound Man gives the worst advice we’ve ever heard about saving yourself being savaged by a dangerous dog. Barbara Woodhouse will be spinning in her grave. Happily, however, she’ll be jiving in her grave when she hears the song Martin has dropped on his latest podcast – go along to thesoundoftheladies.com then to listen to it! And go along to your own iPhone or Android device for this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, in which we go from snooker legend Robbie O’Sullivan to Hanson in two easy steps (those steps being the Searchers and the Zombies).

Now take a deep breath and enjoy some good news week – not only this latest addition to our wall of certificates, but also the recommencement of our Audible freebie offer! Go to answermethispodcast.com/audible to get yourself free and half-price audiobooks, because Audible seem quite keen for you to drain them dry. Ours not to reason why.

Having done that, please send us your QUESTIONSfor next week: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Then take a refresher course in snooker ballshideous novelty songs of the 1980s:

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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