Posts Tagged ‘art’

EPISODE 349: cheddaring

April 6, 2017

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computerStream AMT! on Spotify soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

If you win a year’s supply of Weetabix, how much Weetabix do you actually get? And where will you keep it?

(And why would you want it?)

In Answer Me This! Episode 349, we speculate about that as well as:

deconstructed coffee
citizen’s arrest
The Shipping Forecast
catching Tony Blair red-handed
photos of babies vs portraits of babies
tree changes vs sea changes vs ski changes vs gear changes
the Bank of England
Wookey Hole
Eastcheap Monument
North Greenwich for the Millennium Dome O2 Arena
cheddar cheese vs Cheddar cheese
Olly’s bourgeois nightmare
the Richard Madeley Prevention Device
axolotl-sitting
and
a year’s supply of Weetabix.

If a year’s supply of Weetabix delivered to you is not a convenient enough way to consume Weetabix, glug down a bottle of the LIQUID FORM OF WEETABIX. We try to stomach the idea of this breakfast of lazy champions in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Don’t forget: to receive one retro episode every month in your feed, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice! Or if you want more of them at the time of your choosing, they’re all available at answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums.

Oh, and have a free audiobook for your trouble at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Behold our other audio projects: Olly hosts The Week Unwrapped and has returned with a new season of The Modern Mann; Helen’s Allusionist has more eponyms for your consumption; and Martin’s Song By Song.

If you’re the fledgling superhero Frying-Pan-Man looking to increase your web presence, build your site using our friendly neighbourhood sponsors Squarespace.com. Get 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT350 on 4 May 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 20 April.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT349 Child-Friendly Rating: 58%. No grot, but several swears littered throughout. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 346: ten years. TEN YEARS. Ten. Years. Tenyears! #tenyears

January 5, 2017

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computerStream AMT! on Spotify soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Ten years. Ten years! TEN. YEARS. Ten years we’ve been doing this show. TEN.

In that time, technologies have waxed and waned; world leaders have come and gone; yet here we still are, answering the questions that you supply, just as we did in episode 1 all the way back in January 2007, and in every episode in between.

To celebrate the show’s birthday, in Answer Me This! Episode 346 we provide a thrilling glimpse into the AMT Process, receive a gift from a musical hero, and tackle a question on Olly’s favourite third favourite subject. We also discuss:

Mickey Mouse
sentimental dehydrators
rubber fetishes
grown-up purchases
Helen’s lost engagement ring vs Helen’s lost copy of Heathers
Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans vs Campbell’s actual soup cans
graphic design vs fine art vs graphic design
file-in-cake-based prison breaks
British bears
British beavers
and
why you should never lend things to friends if you ever want to get those things back.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we consider another problem for a Mickey Mouse reboot: the voice. Disney, if you’re listening, we have a suggestion for who should play Mickey. Go on, give it a go…

You should give our album AMT Love a go, if you want to hear an hour of us talking about sex and relationships. It’s available from the AMT store – you can also get it from iTunes and Amazon, if you prefer – along with our other albums and our classic episodes. We can’t pretend that listening back to the first episode today didn’t make us wince, but for just 79.9p it’s a good price for a wince.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Bigger thanks to YOU for listening and sending in questions and supplying kind messages and buying our stuff and generally supporting us during the past decade.

As always, we need you to send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

Now we’re off to celebrate with a nugget of dehydrated birthday cake. Yes, THAT’s who ended up with Ben’s dehydrator! Mwahahahaaaaa.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT346 Child-Friendly Rating: 24%. Several swears, and a question about rubber kinks and sex dungeons. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

preggers Virgin Mary

December 10, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT328

Ding ding ding, someone who knows what they’re talking about has written in! On the subject of paintings of the visibly pregnant Virgin Mary, Asa says:

I’m a historian of medieval art, so I was delighted to hear the subject come up in AMT328. You were talking about the lack of medieval images of Mary pregnant. There are, though, TONS of these. The trouble is that you need to know the right term to search. “The Visitation” is the term for a scene wherein Mary and her cousin Elizabeth get together to celebrate their simultaneous pregnancies — Mary pregnant with Jesus (of course) and Elizabeth a bit further along in her pregnancy with John the Baptist.

The associated feast was made church policy in 1389, which might be why there are more images starting in the 15th century, but there are also just more of all kinds of images starting in the 15th century. The Knight’s Templar theory you found is almost certainly not right. Pretty much everything said about the Templars is tinged with Dan Brown conspiracy theories.

Here’s a bit of info, here’re some images, and more here. In case you want to see some of the earlier ones, here’s a 12th century example, and an early 13th.

I bet there are older ones, but that’s surely more than you wanted, anyway.

Here to help with any of your medieval art historical needs!

Readers, this is your big chance to solve all those medieval art questions that have been plaguing you since birth!

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 328: like it or lump it

November 26, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

How do you tell your mum that she is a STUPID WOMAN who is RUINING CHRISTMAS by buying you the WRONG GIFT? Plus other polite and classy problems compose Answer Me This! Episode 328, in which we contemplate:

NaNoWriMo
sexist succession
breaking into your own house
vinegar vs menstruation
the novels of Katie Price
the novels of Ben Elton
pregnant Virgin Mary paintings
snooping on your Christmas presents
procrastination
the big piece of paper of Jack Kerouac
the little piece of paper in a box of chocolates
and
vinegar mother.

Plus: Olly plans never to get married, but maybe he’ll change his mind purely to have the themed wedding of his Jennifer Connelly-starring dreams; Helen turns her profound laziness into creative tips; and Martin the Sound Man puts the beats into his favourite Christmas carol.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, available for iThings, Android and Windows devices, Olly reveals the surprise hair inspiration of his mid-1980s barnet: Princess Diana.

Feeling festive yet? Click here to read about and then buy the Answer Me This! Christmas album; and click here to get the delightful Christmas podcasts from today’s sponsor Dobbies Garden Centres – and there’re plenty of Christmas tips and decorations to buy at dobbies.com and in store.

What have you got in store for us? Questions, we hope! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 10th December 2015 with AMT329.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT328 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%. No bawdy content, but there are a few swears, and the possible demystification of the machinations behind Christmas presents IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 295 – the genetic lottery

August 7, 2014

AMT legs
Cor, get a load of those stems, listeners! This week, the men of AMT (that’s Olly and Martin the Sound Man, in case you couldn’t work it out) show off their shapely pins – but whose pins are shapelier? Cast your vote in the comments for the left or right pair of legs. Self-esteems depend upon it. Why? Find out in Answer Me This! Episode 295:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

We also find out about:

OS maps
Freshers’ Week
the price of buses
Kent vs France
psoriasis vs Parkinson’s
Helen’s dad’s genes vs Helen’s dad’s jeans
bat detectors
human meat
William Seabrook
Andy Serkis
auctioneers’ patter
mature students
existential questions at Buckler’s Hard
bereavement
corporate tangrams
and
Helen’s first teapot.

We also wonder whether Martin the Sound Man has gone completely batshit, as he tries to converse with bats, thinks jackets = character, and yet again airs his obsession with Holly Hunter. Turn off the lights and pretend you’re not home, Holly!

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android or Windows gadgetry), we tackle a question from Tori about rumours about teachers that swirled around school. In our cases, most of those rumours were cleaner than the reality.

Make AMT296 a reality by supplying some QUESTIONS: leave a message on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis), and/or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our imaginary friend at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to our benevolent sponsers Squarespace.com for supporting both this episode and your website-building endeavours: enter the code Answer for 10% off their website-hosting, -designing and -troubleshooting services for a whole year and build, build, build!

We shall return with AMT296 on 21st August, unless this leg rivalry means Olly and Martin will no longer agree to be in the same room as each other. It’s pretty serious.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT295 Child-Friendly Rating: 86%. A couple of swears, but no lascivious content. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

Nice typeface, shame about the typefacer

February 11, 2014

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT282

gill_large

I must warn you that this post contains trigger subjects, as well as the following conundrum from Ed from Oxford :

I like the work of Eric Gill. Maybe you do too? Maybe you like his carvings, like Ariel on Broadcasting House, or his typefaces, like Gill Sans. Maybe. In any case, if you live in England (or read printed text) you’ve probably seen some of his stuff; he was pretty prolific.

He was also, it turns out, an awful man, with an energetically and eclectically abusive sex life that included his daughter and his dog.

So answer me this: when is it OK to enjoy the great art of awful people? (Or the Operation Yewtree version of the question: the mediocre art of allegedly awful people.)

‘When is it OK’? Do you mean times like when I’m looking at the BBC logo, or official written matter from the British or Spanish governments, or the cover of a classic Penguin paperback, and I think, “I sure am relieved they used Gill Sans rather than Comic Sans, even if dude was a self-confessed sex criminal”? Surely the question is: “Is it OK to enjoy the great art of awful people?” And is there a sliding scale where the greater the art, the more awful acts the artist can get away with?

At the moment this topic is a particularly hotly debated matter, so readers, what do you think? When Mel Gibson went all Sugar Tits, did you smash your DVD of Mad Max 2? Or, conversely, when you read James Blunt’s amusingly self-deprecating tweets, did you subsequently find ‘You’re Beautiful’ more tolerable? Or do you take care to mentally separate the work and the creator of the work? After all, you wouldn’t want to be in danger of actually starting to enjoy ‘You’re Beautiful’.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

Mappliqué

February 5, 2014

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT282

It’s delightful to discover that AMT has provoked something in a listener other than irritation. Vincent writes:

Whilst merrily working my way through your previous podcasts, I was inspired by one of your answers, about cultural identity and clothing, to create a brand new range of wall art. (Podcast number 232 at 17:58 to be precise, in response to a question about French stereotypes.)

The range is called Mappliqué (see what I did there? Map and Appliqué!), and you inspired me to create fabric maps that use relevant fabrics to represent each region, for example, pinstripe for England, Tartan for Scotland, etc. Amazingly, a quick Google search showed that no-one else had thought of the idea so thank you for inspiring it.

Answer me this:

Are there any other ventures inspired by Answer Me This! that you know of, or is this the first one?

You could be like Dragons’ Den in reverse – the Dragons have no humour, destroy ideas that come before them and suck the life out of a room, whereas Answer Me This! inspires ideas and brings joy into the world! (Deborah Meaden power-suit optional for Helen.)

Can it be possible, readers? Have we somehow brought out your entrepreneurial streaks? If so, tell us about your business ventures in the comments. Although we must state that if said ventures failed, causing your financial/emotional/physical demise, we are NOT liable.

NB this is not a paid endorsement; Vincent just appealed to our vanity, so we appeal to you to check out his wares at mapplique.com, because look! Pretty:

BI241821200-800x800

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 282 – coriander* IS the Stephen Fry of herbs

January 30, 2014

What would YOU like to be buried in, listeners? A solid gold sarcophagus? A Zorb ball? A burlap sack? Contemplate this issue whilst listening to Answer Me This! Episode 282:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

In which we discuss:

coffins vs caskets
coriander* vs carbonara
statues vs sculptures**
Leonardo DiCaprio vs Norman Lamont
sweaty sportswear
Americano coffee
Lincoln Logs
film soundtracks
sexy parrots
jamoke
Jesse Honey vs flags of the world
the price of Lego
Ron Mueck
and
an update to the Mastermind chair?

Plus: Olly probably doesn’t want to be served up as a snack at his own wake; Helen will be a posthumous pedant, OF COURSE; and Martin the Sound Man, MPhys, DPhil, doesn’t have a specialist subject on Mastermind, unless you can spin a whole round out of turning One Direction into physics references. Which seems quite possible, actually.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, Olly invents a new game, even better than Lego, even better than Lincoln Logs. What, what, what incredible passtime can this be? Find out on your iDevices, Android and Windows.

We invite you to aid questioneer Brian by naming this tune:

We also invite you to give Squarespace.com a whirl, and if you enjoy that whirl you give it, use the code answer1 to snag a 10% discount for a whole year.

We also also invite you to send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We finally invite you to rejoin us in a fortnight for AMT283,

Helen & Olly

* Translation for our American chums: cilantro
** Find out more about Helen growing up with a sculptor for a dad in episode 300 of the super Little Atoms podcast.

AMT282 Child-Friendly Rating: 76%. A couple of F-bombs, but other than that, fairly clear of saucy language. Elevated discussions of sculpture, coffins and Mastermind. Less elevated discussions of sweaty sports bras. Remember, parents: light and shade, light and shade.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 275 – no one wants a furry Meryl Streep

October 17, 2013

The evil Kennedy family portrait

The evil Kennedy family portrait


Hello listeners,

In writing this post, we’ve learnt that the paintings of Helen Daniels are SO dreadful, even Google Images refuses to index many of them. There’s not even an ironic Tumblr collection! The image above was the only shot we could find of the Kennedy klan’s portrait, but it remains as powerfully repellant as ever.

Why have we waved this horrifying visual in front of your eyes? Listen to Answer Me This! Episode 275 to discover:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

On today’s slate:

the British Museum
loans for kids
Colosseum 4 Kids
pet heirs
Sir Hans Sloane
covered bridges
melting marshmallows
and
crayon-eating.

Plus: Olly is waiting for the long overdue system update for wooden furniture; Helen’s swerving from pumpkin-spiced lattes; and Martin the Sound Man has identified the point at which he left childhood for adulthood: when he started fancy-talking about his excrement.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) Helen readies herself for the inevitable call asking her to join Gladiators if they ever rereboot it. She may not be match fit, but she’s got her name all picked out.

Until that happens, we will continue to do battle with your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

This episode was brought to you by the largesse of squarespace.com, who are also offering you a 10% discount off their service if you use the code Answer10 after you’ve used up your two weeks’ free website-building experimental phase.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT275 Child-Friendly Rating: 98%. Educational content; clean language apart from the word ‘shat’. Not bad going, eh?

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 267 – “My wife and I…”

August 15, 2013

Abraham_Lincoln_$1_Presidential_Coin_obverse_sketch

Good morning, you lazy bastards! One listener called Martin has been up and at ’em since earlytimes, because before this post even went up, he tweeted us with a solution to one of the problems discussed in Answer Me This! Episode 267: Josh, who is trying to watch racy HBO shows on his iPad at the gym without feeling ashamed, needs to get one of these. Wallop! Problem solved.* And what have you done lately, eh?

Don’t worry, you don’t really need to do very much at all, except listen to the episode, of course:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

We also consider:

spiders
Victor David Brenner
SculptureShop
Thomas Jefferson vs. Mariah Carey
Olly’s dad vs. DVDs
corrupt bakers
Theresa May: monarchical midwife
À la recherche du temps perdu
madeleines
Farter’s Day
the definition of virginity
and
Richard Nixon.

Plus, each of us is ready for combat this week: Olly provokes a rematch of the Battle of Agincourt, but this time over French cakes versus English cakes; Helen wages war against cliché; and Martin the Sound Man takes a shoot-to-kill policy on spiders and whelks.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for iDevices and Android, learn how to decorate your home in the Olly Mann style: with squashed moths. Or, if you prefer slightly less morbid things on your walls, you could get the AMT clock that he mentions in the show. That’s right: Olly Mann’s clockface is his own face. We’re still working on turning Helen’s face into a sundial.

While we do that, you should work on sending us your QUESTIONS. It’s easy: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Bam. Job done.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT267 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. Just a couple of swears. Question about sex scenes in HBO shows. Graphic mental image of Jack Straw staring up a royal birth canal. Question about virginity at the end of the show with, naturally, references to sexual practices, albeit thoughtful rather than lairy in tone.

PS Thanks to Kevin McLeod, Amy Smith and Sam Pay for providing the holiday album jingle.

*PPS Another subtle remedy for Josh’s gym sex scene shame.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 264 – Roger Federer’s urine

July 25, 2013

SchnorbitzHello listeners,

Today, in Answer Me This! Episode 264, we pretend to remember the most beloved 20th century canine entertainer. No, not Lassie! No, not Rin Tin Tin. No, not Columbo’s Basset hound… Alright, one of the Top 40 (give or take) most beloved 20th century canine entertainers: Schnorbitz.

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

We also discuss:

Skee-Lo‘s wishes
open-air Shakespeare
dumping your cat-sitter
perfect picnics
barley water
pina colada-scented dog shampoo
manly smells
Johnny Depp vs. Sean Maguire
AMT classic episodes vs. Casablanca
eating in front of Keane and Suede
The Psychopath
and
macaroni collages.

Plus: Olly is a human salad, with the Body Shop providing the dressing (but don’t put any strawberries in it!); Helen makes things other than podcasts; and Martin the Sound Man resolves to suspend his scepticism. We’re sure that’ll last more than 0 minutes.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, which is available for iDevices and Android, we consider the Bacardi Bat and its similarity to Captain Birdseye. Certainly if we were choosing one of them as the voice of a joke Twitter account, we’d go for the one that can at least communicate in words. Sonar doesn’t translate well to tweets.

If you would like us to translate your QUESTIONS into podcast, send them to us as voicemails deposited on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT264 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. Bit of swearing, short discussion about sex, plus a section about a dead dog. Children do get upset by dead dogs.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 255 – you can’t build up to the Shewee

May 2, 2013

Hello listeners,

We really hope you didn’t first hear the sad news about JLS on Answer Me This! Episode 255. If you did, please accept our condolences at this difficult time.

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Through our veil of grief, today we discuss:

fruit PDA
inappropriate gifts
Volvos
proofreading Pitbull’s party anthems
Pop Star to Deer Farmer
Abz from 5ive
bangs
Andre 3000 + Beyonce covering Winehouse
porn prodigies
Paul Torrisi
Olly’s mum’s sex tips
and
Olly’s cat’s arsehole.

Plus: Olly’s not so much house-hunting as Costco cupboard-hunting; Michelle Obama makes Helen weepy; and if unlike Martin the Sound Man’s parents you DO want to listen to his albums, get them from thesoundoftheladies.com. Perfect soundtrack for gardening and cat funerals.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we consider the ridiculousness of reading about Web 2.0 via Web 0.0, ie print media, which is going the way of JLS before too long.

We don’t intend to go anywhere soon, though, so do send us your QUESTIONS for forthcoming episodes: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Bye!

Helen & Olly

PS Revisit our previous discourse about the male and female symbols in AMT96 and JLS in AMT187.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH