Posts Tagged ‘babies’

EPISODE 349: cheddaring

April 6, 2017

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computerStream AMT! on Spotify soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

If you win a year’s supply of Weetabix, how much Weetabix do you actually get? And where will you keep it?

(And why would you want it?)

In Answer Me This! Episode 349, we speculate about that as well as:

deconstructed coffee
citizen’s arrest
The Shipping Forecast
catching Tony Blair red-handed
photos of babies vs portraits of babies
tree changes vs sea changes vs ski changes vs gear changes
the Bank of England
Wookey Hole
Eastcheap Monument
North Greenwich for the Millennium Dome O2 Arena
cheddar cheese vs Cheddar cheese
Olly’s bourgeois nightmare
the Richard Madeley Prevention Device
axolotl-sitting
and
a year’s supply of Weetabix.

If a year’s supply of Weetabix delivered to you is not a convenient enough way to consume Weetabix, glug down a bottle of the LIQUID FORM OF WEETABIX. We try to stomach the idea of this breakfast of lazy champions in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Don’t forget: to receive one retro episode every month in your feed, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice! Or if you want more of them at the time of your choosing, they’re all available at answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums.

Oh, and have a free audiobook for your trouble at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Behold our other audio projects: Olly hosts The Week Unwrapped and has returned with a new season of The Modern Mann; Helen’s Allusionist has more eponyms for your consumption; and Martin’s Song By Song.

If you’re the fledgling superhero Frying-Pan-Man looking to increase your web presence, build your site using our friendly neighbourhood sponsors Squarespace.com. Get 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT350 on 4 May 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 20 April.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT349 Child-Friendly Rating: 58%. No grot, but several swears littered throughout. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH
Advertisements

EPISODE 342: millionaires dicking around

October 20, 2016

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computerStream AMT! on Spotify soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

What do you do when your friend has fallen for a pathological liar? Do you a) confront the fibber with evidence of their deceit, or b) write to a comedy podcast? It’s fairly easy for you to find out: just listen to Answer Me This! Episode 342, in which we also discuss:

dining with babies
dining with strangers’ shitty babies
the Oscars Curse
Jenny Beavan’s red carpet look
supergroups on superyachts
gregarious egregious Gregs
and
the advantage of the cupcake

Plus: Olly betrayed his former self by not doing his wedding dance to ‘The Snooker Song‘ from The Hunting of the Snark; Helen is giving away a dead good podcast idea; and Dave Stewart is not welcome to shit up Martin the Sound Man’s supergroup.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is about a bit of crap on a lot of kitchen worktops: spiralisers, the existence of which is irking Gemma from Cannock (yes, yes, Martin; the town in the West Midlands to which 80s popstar Tiffany moved after her heyday). Get the app for your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

We’re open for business at answermethisstore.com if you want to buy our first 200 episodes or our albums. You can also give us money without having to give us any of your own money if you get yourself a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 2 November with AMT343,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT342 Child-Friendly Rating: 66%. A smattering of swears. Low on crudity. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 336: have the decency to get your balls out

July 28, 2016

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer Stream AMT! on Spotifysoundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

There are many refreshments in Answer Me This! Episode 336: tea, milk, and a drink Olly describes as ‘mashed-up urinal cake in a glass’. Mmmm! It’s the new hipster cocktail!

We also consider such topics as:

‘Roses are Red’
getting an upgrade at the airport
honeymoon bowel trouble
hush puppies
Hush Puppies
Slush Puppies
this famous policeman’s helmet
flowery emoji
things to do in Peterborough
signatures
and
streaking.

Plus: Olly would like it to be known that he is not a geek (except for musical theatre and Disney); forget going naked, Helen won’t even take her cardigan off for money; and Martin the Sound Man believes in bowel karma.

Sorry for forgetting the Bonus Bit of Crap on the App for AMT335, but this one contains further contemplation of streaking and public nudity. Get the app on your iThings, Android and Windows devices.

There are links to the apps at answermethisstore.com, where you’ll also find AMTs 1-200, plus our special albums. The Answer Me This! Holiday is the (or at least a) soundtrack to your summer, and there’s also AMT Sports Day to get you pumped for the Olympics. And remember to get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible. By doing any or all of these things, you’re supporting the show.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 11 August with AMT337,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT336 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%low on foul language but there are references to sex. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 332: slimy AND crunchy

June 2, 2016

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer Stream AMT! on Spotifysoundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

We have returned! Just as we said we would. Normal service resumes in Answer Me This! Episode 332, as we discuss such issues as:

Ripley’s Believe It Or Not
kosher salt vs goy salt
marriage vs mourning
lazy but prescriptive Delia Smith
Jane Lynch
stepping on snails
skeuomorphs
Greek columns
and
maple syrup bottles.

And, BELIEVE IT OR NOT:
Olly felt some emotions – hear more about Olly’s family’s gain and loss on The Modern Mann; there’s some dispute over the shape of Helen’s head; and Martin the Sound Man is busy with his biggest abacus, trying to count up the exact number of episodes in which Kelsey Grammer played Frasier. Frasier + Cheers = ?

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) is literal crap: a little trick that baby Harvey Mann likes to play, called ‘The Coda’.

In case you missed it while we were away, we released our latest album Answer Me This! Love, about love and sex and suchlike. And why not feed your ears further with a FREE AUDIOBOOK thanks to our pals at Audible? You can have one even if you’ve suckled at Audible’s teat before. Go to answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Sorry if you left us a voicemail between New Year and late April: we didn’t get it. If your question has not been solved in the meantime, or if you’ve brewed a new one, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis. As ever, send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

AMT333 will be here in a fortnight, so you better had be too.

Helen & Olly

PS Today’s rousing rendition of our email address is played by the Hackney Colliery Band.

••• AMT332 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%.
Several strong swears. Mostly clean content, although the intermission is talking about boners. •••

STOREALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

The Best of AMT 2015

December 24, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Join us for a jaunt through The Best of Answer Me This! 2015, where we revisit such bright spots from the year as:

Paul Simon Says
Buddha, fat and thin
the Stephen King’s IT tattoo
the CKBLT (Chicken Kiev BLT sandwich)
Jurassic Park: The Ballet
Juliet’s balcony
Grumpy Cat
Melanie Griffith’s lion
Nicolas Cage’s octopus
Andre Rieu’s face
highlighter pen(i)s
undead Mike Oldfield
wedding +1 etiquette
Byrd Sister
Greek wine
dominatrix problems
and
olive theft.

And, as every year, there are the Previously Unheard Bits of AMT, plus our favourite: the Melancholy Voicemail Parade.

Haven’t heard the Best Of AMT collections from previous years? Get them at answermethisstore.com/best. All the hits, none of the shits!

Also while you’re at the AMT store, you can buy our classic episodes, albums and apps. By doing so, you’re supporting the show – and obliterating the howling silence, right?

Send in your questions for AMT in 2016: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return with AMT330 on 14th January 2016. Happy Christmas/New Year/early January to you all, and thanks for listening this year.

Helen & Olly

••• Best of 2015 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. As in, 50% of the content is child-friendly. The other 50% really isn’t. You know the score by now. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 326: macho line dancing

October 29, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Happy news! AMT325‘s Beckie, who was worried who was worrying about having chosen the baby name ‘Aoife’ because her family were being dicks about it? On Tuesday, the baby was born! And she has been named….Aoife! Good for you, Beckie, and welcome to the world, Aoife. All together now: aaaaaawwwwwww.

Let’s change some more lives in Answer Me This! Episode 326 shall we? Or at least deal with a range of minor to moderate problems, concerning such matters as:

Gogglebox
crying vs fart machines
sport vs Helen’s love for her family
sport vs Andrew Lloyd Webber
the haka
the Crystal Palace dinosaurs
matryoshka spy dolls
Queen Victoria
and
the likely successor to The Human Centipede.

Plus: Olly has the equivalent of a shy bladder but for sneezing (which you already know is a problem for him); Helen has to choose between her family and her dislike of sport; and Martin the Sound Man’s cup of Earl Grey is full of tears.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – rugby brings the rest of Helen’s family joy, but also forces her brother Andy to tell the biggest lie of his life.

It’s no lie that we welcome your questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and deliver your emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Say hi at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Additional ventures:

Olly’s so fecund at the moment! Birthing out babies and podcasts all over the place. You can find his new show The Modern Mann at modernmann.co.uk, as well as on iTunes and Pocketcasts and the various other podcast-getting places.

Helen is currently releasing new doses of The Allusionist EVERY WEEK (wilts) because Radiotopia is raising funds. Love any of the shows? Donate at radiotopia.fm! And join in her Reddit AMA at 7pm GMT today.

Finally, Martin the Sound Man’s Song By Song podcast is now embarking upon Tom Waits’s Heart of Saturday Night. Not a difficult second album, a cracking second album! (Except for the bits which sound like dinner jazz, which are sub-cracking.)

We’ll return on 12th November 2015 with AMT327.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT326 Child-Friendly Rating: 30%. No bawdy content, but there are swears all over the place. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 325: Human Endurance Range Extender

October 15, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today’s questioneers face ruin: browser history ruining a surprise; other people ruining the choice of baby names; and ruining your own chances of shagging a houseguest. Don’t ruin your own life by failing to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 325, in which we also discuss:

circus music
baby names
the Stocks app
Apple Maps vs Google Maps
James Cameron vs bladder control
Martin’s eggy Instagram
deep sea submersibles
Greenpeace up the Shard
sleeping arrangements
and
Tom from MySpace.

Plus: Olly would like you to listen to him present the Guardian’s Tech Weekly and The Media Podcast; Helen is currently releasing new doses of The Allusionist EVERY WEEK; and Tom Waits fans should sprint to hear Martin the Sound Man’s Song By Song podcast (and there’s a Heart Of Saturday Night listening party in the heart of this coming Saturday night, or at least evening, so do join).

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – we reveal the moral cesspit at the heart of that classic Martin Clunes film Staggered.

Open your moral cesspit hearts to us by sending us your questions! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and deliver your emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 29th October 2015 with AMT326.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT325 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Quite a lot of swears, sorry. Vaguely sexual question at the end. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

protest names

August 20, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT320

More child-naming intel has arrived from Edwin:

Your discussion in AMT320 of registering a baby reminded me of a story out of Sweden I read in the news once about a child allegedly named “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116”, pronounced “Albin”.

Wikipedia also tells me that protest names are not so unusual in Sweden.

Of course! Why not use your child to represent your own gripes? They’re only a HUMAN BEING, after all.

(By the way, were any of you given names because your parents were trying to make a political or sociological or some other kind of point? And how did that work out for you?)

Also, several of you wrote in to tell us what happens when you let children choose their own names: you get surgeons named Loki Skylizard. Apparently he was aged eight or nine when he opted for this, and kudos to him for sticking with it when it is perhaps not a name in which most people undergoing heart surgery will feel particularly confident.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

Naming the names

August 19, 2015

latest

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT320

Regarding AMT320‘s discussion about naming babies, Jeremiah writes:

You made a comment referencing the character Six in the beloved 80’s sitcom Blossom, in the context of a discussion of names and their derivation. I happen to remember watching an episode of Blossom in which the origins of the name Six were explained. Blossom and Six are having an intimate conversation in which Blossom asks Six how she got her name. Six replies without missing a beat, “That was how many beers it took my dad to think of it.” Cue laugh-track.

According to Wikipedia, “A later explanation is that she was the sixth child in her family”. But apparently the behind-the-scenes truth is “One of the show’s writers came up with the name ‘Six’ because he knew a girl in school called ‘Seven’.”

Whatever it is, perhaps Susan from Riverside, California will feel some relief about her own situation:

In episode 320, you talk about babies who aren’t named right away. I am one of those babies.

I was born on Easter Sunday in 1962. I made my parents leave Mass early. I always thought I was a special girl, but it wasn’t until I was in my mid-20s when I found out the truth: my parents didn’t know what to call me!

When my mom told me this, she was laughing about it the whole time. She started talking about the hospital I was born in and then she said, “You know they called and asked me, are you ever going to name that child?”

She was still laughing, but she sounded kind of pissed that they would bother her about it. I got the sense that she felt she’d name her kid when she was good and ready to name her kid.

I asked her about it after I heard your podcast. She “thinks” the hospital called when I was about 3 weeks old. But when she said, “We knew your middle name was going to be Alexa” my heart just sank. My middle name is Alexia. She couldn’t get it right, so I don’t trust her on the whole 3 weeks scenario.

I was afraid to ask her if she actually knew my name! I have always wondered what they called me during the alleged 3 weeks that I was __________ Alexa, Alexis (whatever).

The real pisser is that I have an older sister who had a name, no problem, so it isn’t like my parents didn’t know what to do!

But it all turned out alright, didn’t it, Susan?

We also heard from Nick Barker, who gave his son the middle name ‘Chu’. Chu Barker. Say it to yourself. Faster. Chu Barker. Says Nick: “I figure, as it is his middle name, he can choose whether to use it or not. At the moment he likes it.”

PS: This week, the Office for National Statistics released the list of the most popular baby names in England and Wales in 2014. For the second year running, Oliver tops the boys’ list. In the girls’ list Helen was 763rd. SORT THIS OUT, PODCAST FANS.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 320: cherrilets

August 6, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Ever been cured by a snake? No? Well, thought we should ask. Find out why in Answer Me This! Episode 320, as well as stuff about:

red velvet cake
the first romcom
Overboard
BDSM vs podcasting
baby names vs dog names
Ritz cracker apple pie
Frankie and Benny’s
sacred snakes
Much Ado About Nothing
Ghostface Chillah
points on your driving licence
registering your baby
Leavenworth, WA (see the bottom of this post)
the Rod of Asclepius
and
your local Munch.

Plus: Olly remembers his dad’s Martian business plan*, that is still up for grabs if any of you want to do it; Helen has ‘Baby On Board!’ windscreen signs in the crosshairs; and Martin the Sound Man’s parents named him Martin hoping he’d take after one of the nice Martins, rather than Amis or Scorsese.

*If you do decide to give this a whirl – or you have a less doomed idea for a business – build the website using today’s sponsor Squarespace.com. Tinker around during the free two-week trial, then you can have 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. You get a URL and loads of storage thrown in. AND Squarespace manages to make your site look nice on desktop, mobile and tablet, which is far more than most site hosts do (ahem ahem this one).

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) is a question from Kate about those metal bars that run around the bottom of bars. Bonus appearance from the town that plays Northern Exposure.

As always, we crave your questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 20th August 2015 with AMT321. Be there. Or our hearts will yearn for you.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT320 Child-Friendly Rating: 34%. It opens with feedback regarding AMT319‘s dominatrix question, which, though heartwarming, may be riper than you feel your children should cope with. Some swears thereafter, but we suspect you’ll already have saved this for post-watershed listening. •••

PS Feast your eyes on LEAVENWORTH! The happiest place on earth (or at the very least, Washington State).

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 304: millions of Geoffrey, all under one roof

December 11, 2014


“Take two podcasts into the shower? Not me! I just use Answer Me This! Episode 304!”

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today’s roster includes such topics as:

Wash & Go
roller derby rivalry
texting your ex
baby models
Geoffrey of Toys R Us
Facebook etiquette
advent calendar etiquette
Rod Stewart vs Barry Manilow
Rod Stewart’s train set
the Boston Bean
The Frog Chorus
Whip It IRL
and
the Swiss Cheese Pervert.

Plus: for Olly, giving is better than receiving (when it comes to picture messages); Helen does not belong on wheels; and Martin the Sound Man searches for logic in cartoon characters off adverts, which is really the wrong place to look.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets) as we learn about reindeers and their antlers. For a whole further hour of festive fun, do listen to the Answer Me This! Christmas, available at answermethisstore.com as well as iTunes and Amazon.

All we want for Christmas are your QUESTIONS, so shove them into our stockings, by which we mean leave a message on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also, forge the bounds of internet friendship at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly. Not LinkedIn, NEVER LinkedIn.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. That’s got to be better than anything you win in a cracker. (Except for the set of tiny screwdrivers or a bottle-opener shaped like an animal; both of these come in surprisingly useful. But, you know, the miniature pack of cards or tiny plastic comb or annoying puzzle made out of metal rings.)

The Best of AMT 2014 will be out next Thursday, 18th December. Return then!

Helen & Olly

••• AMT304 Child-Friendly Rating: 74%. Opens with further discussion of AMT303‘s cheese handjobs, but once the first couple of minutes are over, the rest of the episode’s topics are clean aside from two or three strong swears. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

good aunt

November 13, 2014

img-thing

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT301

Rebecca from London writes:

My sister is about to have a baby, which means I am about to become an aunt! In fact, I recently realised I will be the baby’s only aunt, which means I feel like I should get it right. I know Helen is an aunt, and I suspect a fun one, or at least I know she likes to lie to her ‘niecephews’.

So answer me this: what do I need to do to be an excellent aunt?

1. Deploy exciting-looking gift-wrapping (the gift within is of secondary importance).
2. Try not to look bored when the kid is telling you an anecdote that doesn’t go anywhere.
3. Teach them to make paper aeroplanes.
4. Don’t bury their grandmother without telling anyone.

That last point is information someone should have given my only aunt. Hindsight is a powerful thing…

Readers, any tips for excellent aunt or uncle performance? Add in the comments.

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH