Posts Tagged ‘champagne’

EPISODE 260 – hurr hurr Marylebone

June 6, 2013

Hello chums,

This week, listener Melvyn from Israel got in touch to ask whether we have a system for identifying AMT episodes which are suitable for his children to listen to. So from this point forward*, each episode will have a rating so you parents/children are aware of the incidence of blue language and depraved material. Answer Me This! Episode 260 scores a Child Friendly Rating of 70% (mild swearing/bawdy talk and one question about dicks).


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Today we discuss:

Wagon Wheels
jalapeños
disappointing Oxford Circus
Loose Women‘s stools (not as in bowel movement stools)
tuk tuk drivers
Fentimans
The Pammy vs. The Governess
Lord Adonis
helium
and
dressing to the left/right.

Plus: Olly has a simple but cunning method for hiding his Special Racy Magazines; Helen is a fan of neither Buckfast nor Red Bull; and the only thing bigger than Martin the Sound Man’s head is his…ego?

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we discuss Desert Island Drugs. We may be squares in our normal lives, but leave us to die alone on a desert island and we’ll give any intoxicants a whirl.

If you haven’t, give QUESTION-ASKING a whirl: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Plus, if you’re interested in hearing swear-free episode 59 or Martin-free episode 78, they – and 118 more retro AMT episodes – are available to buy at answermethispodcast.com/classic. There’s also free entertainment at answermethispodcast.com/LoveFilm.

See you next Thursday, for our last episode of this current series (oh don’t, you’ll set us off too),

Helen & Olly

*This does mean our previous 259 episodes remain the Wild West, but if you have a craven desire to go through all of them to rate them, be our guest.

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EPISODE 240 – shampea

December 6, 2012

Brace yourselves, listeners: in Answer Me This! Episode 240, those two titans of the Northern Hemisphere, Russia and Canada, face off for the bout you’ve all been waiting for. KABOOM!!!!

Sort of.

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This week we speak of:

Andy Warhol’s wig
podcatchers
Russell Brand’s dad
penis pasta
Guinness World Record adjudicators
mean mean mother-in-law
pleasing your partner’s parents
the death of Borders
holidays with Paul Daniels
and
poutine vs. Putin.

Plus: you may be surprised to hear that Olly is a one-doughnut Mann; Helen’s ex-boyfriend moved the earth for her, literally; and Martin the Sound Man unleashes his inner Sarah Palin. Watch out, world.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Sam about Gems TV, that 24/7 diamond of entertainment.

Next week is the first half of the Best of Answer Me This! 2012, but for your chance to appear in the Best of Answer Me This! 2013, send us QUESTIONS for the new year. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

Also please do try out our other weekly podcasting exploit The Joy of Tech from BBC 5 Live, in which we talk about the week’s internet events alongside experts in tech, cars, gaming and other highlights of modern existence.

Laters!

Helen & Olly

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The Best of AMT2011 part 2

December 22, 2011

We hope you enjoyed last week’s rattle through the first half of the AMT year. If not, here’s more stuff that you won’t enjoy, in The Best of AMT2011, part 2:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we revisit such golden moments as:

Jon Ronson’s breakfast with Pocahontas
butternut squash
Tate & Lyle’s decomposing lion
Lulu
Going for Gold
‘Imagine’
the theme from Requiem for a Dream
claret jugs
character M&Ms
Martin’s wedding pants
the Fat Controller’s wife
Owl City
Reg Grundy nepotism
staplenuts
Avril Lavigne fans
Anna Paquin
and
sexy Jews.

Plus some more Previously Unheard Bits from the bin.

Help us concoct more podcast for you to hear in 2012 by sending us your QUESTIONS: fill our inbox by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, and deluge our Question Line with voicemails (dial 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis).

And you can also fill our big empty box – our PO Box, what did you think we meant? – with some 5th birthday goodies:

Answer Me This!
PO Box 53587
London
SE19 9BQ

We’ll be back with episode 201 on January 19th 2012, so it merely remains for us to wish you all a very happy Christmas/atheist substitute and New Year, and to thank you very sincerely for listening to us in 2011.

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 191 – the enemy of creases

September 8, 2011

Well, listeners, this is it. The last episode for a month – Answer Me This! Episode 191:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In our last yaps before shutting up for a month, we speak of:

Gossip Girl‘s out-of-character choice of search engine
Tate & Lyle
Envirofone
Jon Snow’s laptop
cinder toffee
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Samson speed-dating
iPhones vs. traditional toilet reading
bio vs. non-bio
blue plastic champagne flutes vs. classiness
Rihanna’s Navy vs. Bruno Mars’s Hooligans vs. K£sha’s Animals
female magnets
and
paediatric brine.

Plus: Olly reveals the secret to his Oxford success – York Notes; Helen has worrying plans to become a major soak over the break; and Martin the Sound Man will be jetting off to space on the back of the Philips Man Iron. Brrrrm brrm!

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is about newsreader Kay Burley’s eggs, which are available exclusively to denizens of the Sky News make-up room – unlike the AMT app, which is available to any old chump with an iPhone, iPad or Android device.

Though we are off-air for a month, we’ll still be updating this site, and more importantly collecting QUESTIONS for the new series. So send them along, by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We hope you have a smashing month, and we’ll you on October 13th, bright and early!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 162 – the grown-up Milkybar Kid among us

January 13, 2011

Good morning,

It seems this week, every human celebrity with a working womb has declared herself pregnant. Since we blindly follow celebrities in all our actions, allow us to take this opportunity to announce that we, too, have a bun in the oven. Our due date is 13th January 2011 and we’ve already picked a name for the new arrival, Answer Me This! Episode 162. Ooohowowowow – we think the blighter’s on its way….:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Today’s episode is accompanied by a token amount of afterbirth and a sizable amount of the following:

Reebok Runtone Trainers
white-collar boxing
‘Heart and Soul’
Love and Other Drugs
Richard Branson
greedy Jet Li
Peter Pan, master builder
Babycham
ivy-covered halls
Mike Oldfield’s ‘Tubular Bells’
Ian McEwan’s Enduring Love
Sidney Paget
witches’ hats
bullet time*
the MTV Generation
the greatest album Meat Loaf never made
and
deep-fried eggs.

Plus: Olly has a horrific DIY suggestion for replacing a lost eye; Helen brings down London, one neighbourhood at a time; and Martin the Sound Man recommends that if you only read one book in your life, it should be this one.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (get it for your shiny iPhone or your shiny Android – those of you with non-shiny phones, forget it) is a question from Mark who’s been thinking the unthinkable: if Wills’n’Kate don’t make it to the altar on April 29th, what will happen to our promised national holiday? Panic! (Don’t panic.)

You’ll also note that, at the end of the episode, we appeal for your suggestions to guide listener Karen gently into the magnificent world of book-reading. Please leave those in the comments below; then please leave your QUESTIONS for future episodes as voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Great! Now we’re off to stand on the front steps of the Portland Hospital holding a wadded-up pale blue blanket so that maybe someone takes our picture. We’re over the moon! Etc etc.

Helen & Olly

* In case you couldn’t remember what that is, here’s a refresher:

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Great British Questions Episode 4: Tea

August 10, 2010

Put your slippers on, sit in your comfiest chair and make a nice brew, because it’s time for Episode Four of Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions:

Where’s the best cup of tea in Britain?

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In which you will find us visiting:
Brighton seafront, where the rain poured, and so did the tea.
Twinings on the Strand in London, a veritable embassy of tea.
Braunston in Rutland, England’s smallest county. A big paper plate of cakes and two cups of tea for £1.50? That, friends, is why Britain is still great.
Emma Bridgewater, Stoke-on-Trent, where we were instructed that tea can get you laid. If only it were that simple.
Tregothnan tea plantation, Cornwall, where they are considering building a tea theme park. Please, Tregothnan. MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
• Grasmere in the Lake District, home of Sarah Nelson’s Gingerbread, a legendary snack with a secret recipe. I guess Sarah Nelson is the English equivalent of Colonel Sanders.
The Balmoral hotel, Edinburgh. Apparently having tea here features in one of those ‘1000 things to do before you die’ lists, so we’re now one step closer to the End.

Let’s raise a cup of char to the people who helped us along the way:

Stephen Twining and Matthew Rice – we’d like to see them face off against other in a duel to determine who is the quintessential English gent;
Marion, who showed us around the Emma Bridgewater factory and taught us the full birthing cycle of their beautiful ceramics – almost as demanding as the human one;
Neil Bennett, head gardener at the Tregothnan estate, who had a heavy cold and should probably have been safely tucked up indoors rather than traipsing around the huge estate with us;
Joanne Wilson from Sarah Nelson’s Gingerbread, a woman who can wrap a stack of gingerbread in paper at the speed of light. You might not think this exciting, but, like the teapot-knobbing, when you see it live you could watch it for hours;
Harry Fernandes at the Balmoral hotel, for letting us have a big fancy tea, climb up onto the roof, and pretending that we weren’t just a pair of overgrown five-year-olds;
and an extra portion of Jammy Dodgers goes to Tess Longfield and Rachel Aked of VisitBritain.

Please return next Tuesday for the final installment of Great British Questions, which is all about Great British Bathrooms; and below are some photos from our tea tour.

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Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions

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EPISODE 144 – closer to a potato choc-ice

August 5, 2010

Dear friends,

If, like Olly, you are delightfully innocent and pure-minded, listen with care to Answer Me This! Episode 144; for, like him, you will probably be SHOCKED TO THE VERY CORE to understand what the heck that mucky broad Britney Spears was on about in her ‘If You Seek Amy’ ditty. We don’t know which was more shocking: the blatant sauce of the double meaning, or the topsy-turvy grammar of the single meaning.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Delicious Miss Dahl’s dirty martinis
skate’s dirty parts
Sea Pebbles
citric acid
‘Scotland the Brave’ vs. ‘Greensleeves’
the MTV Cribs diet
carbonated champagne
matzo meal
Clamato
kosher fish
those child-hating bastards Cybercandy
strawberries
the spoon trick
Hatch End
fizzy cola bottle inequity
and
modern marginalia.

Plus: Olly compares his pioneeringderanged snacking habits to Heston Blumenthal; Helen ruins Olly’s favourite delicacy, tipple, and high school sing-song tv series; and Martin the Sound Man does a rap, gives insight into the dairy consumption of tramps, and otherwise disgraces himself.

We also peer beneath the frilly underskirts of Great British Questions Episode 3: Romance, exposing some mild disappointment in the world’s biggest coloured pencil, and wondering whether the Cerne Abbas giant has been slacking on his fatherly duties thus far. Meanwhile, over on the fair shores of the AMT app, we speak of marginal things we like. Nothing pervy, unless you are aroused by the shoes of elderly Jews.

Now it’s time to give us your QUESTIONS; please bestow them upon is in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. How thrilled we shall be to receive them!

See you next Thursday for Episode 145, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Four of Great British Questions, in which we glug down sufficient tea to rehydrate the Kalahari.

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 130 – pig of death

April 8, 2010

Good morning listeners!

We may have had some jolly good news yesterday, but by gum, even though we should be taking a celebratory bath in fizzy booze or something, we are not slacking off on our podcasting duties. Heavens no. It’s business as usual, so here is Answer Me This! Episode 130:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week’s award-nominated trash talk includes:

bodysnatchers
the lamb of God
Galen
Norsical languages
Arawak
Little Shop of Horrors
The Game
The Game

giant Bearded Fig Trees
sex homeopathy
retort cooking
Justin Bieber
zombies
antifreeze
and
the 1832 Anatomy Act.

Plus: Olly can only dream of being as innovative/stupid as the inventor of the Revolution Grill’N’Chill; Helen’s late granny ensures she’ll never be able to enjoy a nice blue china pig; and as well as featuring a questioneer’s tip to make you a proper hit with the Ladies, we come up with an ingenious scheme to entertain the pedestrians of central London AND rid the streets of the litter of freesheets. Get on it, Westminster Council!

Also, if you haven’t already, go to Martin the Sound Man’s website to download his latest Sound of the Ladies podcast to hear his smashing new song ‘What We Did With Our Lives’, as well as hear what he had to say in interviews with a few other podcasts. Yes, he cheated on AMT! Eh, who can blame him.

As always, please do ask us QUESTIONS for future episodes, by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leaving a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. That would be luvverly.

See you next week,

Helen and Olly

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