Posts Tagged ‘friendship’

EPISODE 340: the post-pre-Netflix world

September 22, 2016

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Listeners, how terribly remiss of us to make it through three quarters of 2016 without marking the fact that it has been designated by the UN as the International Year of Pulses. But thankfully there’s still three months of it in which to celebrate, starting with a pulverised pea party in Answer Me This! Episode 340. We also speak of:

VHS tapes
bear shit
whale shit
mushy peas
candy floss
Graham from Canada nostalgia
double beds
The Hays Code
bad advice from The Modern Man (NOT The Modern Mann)
marrowfat facts (marrowfacts?)
and
FitFatbit.

Plus: Olly finally unsubscribed from his ‘Paying for a gym is just as productive as attending a gym’ fitness plan; Helen advises on her specialist subject: avoiding social interaction; and Martin the Sound Man is all umami and no trousers.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available on iThings, Android and Windows devices – an anonymous questioneer has a dilemma about free wine. Well, it’s not really free. Someone always pays. Just, in this case, not him. (But possibly Martin, twice, because he is SUCH a good citizen.)

If you want to spend your wine budget on more AMT, head to answermethisstore.com to stock up on our albums and our first 200 episodes. You can also generate FREE MONEY for us and a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 6 October with AMT341,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT340 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Quite a few strong swears. References to sex. •••

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The Best of AMT 2015

December 24, 2015

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Join us for a jaunt through The Best of Answer Me This! 2015, where we revisit such bright spots from the year as:

Paul Simon Says
Buddha, fat and thin
the Stephen King’s IT tattoo
the CKBLT (Chicken Kiev BLT sandwich)
Jurassic Park: The Ballet
Juliet’s balcony
Grumpy Cat
Melanie Griffith’s lion
Nicolas Cage’s octopus
Andre Rieu’s face
highlighter pen(i)s
undead Mike Oldfield
wedding +1 etiquette
Byrd Sister
Greek wine
dominatrix problems
and
olive theft.

And, as every year, there are the Previously Unheard Bits of AMT, plus our favourite: the Melancholy Voicemail Parade.

Haven’t heard the Best Of AMT collections from previous years? Get them at answermethisstore.com/best. All the hits, none of the shits!

Also while you’re at the AMT store, you can buy our classic episodes, albums and apps. By doing so, you’re supporting the show – and obliterating the howling silence, right?

Send in your questions for AMT in 2016: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return with AMT330 on 14th January 2016. Happy Christmas/New Year/early January to you all, and thanks for listening this year.

Helen & Olly

••• Best of 2015 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. As in, 50% of the content is child-friendly. The other 50% really isn’t. You know the score by now. •••

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EPISODE 323: not all snails

September 17, 2015

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What is the greatest sorrow of being let go from a job? The loss of income? The blow to the self-esteem? The fear for the future? Or not even having tried the macho peas???

In Answer Me This! Episode 323, listeners wrestle with this problem and many more, such as:

Venetian gondolas
bendy straws
cheapskate dinner party cheats
the Queen’s Privy Council
snail-purging
Nando’s in the USA
Right Honourable Friends
coming out parties
the cola rankings
and
ironed underwear.

Plus: prepare to be FASCINATED as Olly shares his laundry workflow; Helen’s dad has failed to capitalise on Nando’s art collection; and Martin the Sound Man stops flirting and cuts to the chase – he’s starting a new podcast so prepare for launch.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – Martin recreates the Wicker Man out of straws and Helen inadvertently causes future mental scarring in her niece.

If you need ointment rubbed into your own mental scars, send us questions: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We are very grateful to Squarespace.com for supporting today’s show. Use the code ANSWER to get 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, which include a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support. That’s you covered.

We’ll return on 1st October 2015 with AMT324. Sprinkle yourself in spice mix and join us then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT323 Child-Friendly Rating: 81%. Couple of swears, no other hazards. •••

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EPISODE 319: Scientology for Kids

July 23, 2015

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Questioneers are full of troubles in Answer Me This! Episode 319, about such matters as:

dominatrixes (dominatrices?)
Simon Says
Nigel Slater Says
wholegrain mustard vs Dijon mustard vs mustard combo
Ritz Hotel vs Ritz Crackers
the Hummus Health Scare
being a bit of an arsehole
lavendar pits
the New Zealand flag referendum
the Black Country flag controversy
and
glitter.

Plus: Olly is obedient to nobody and nothing, except cookbooks; getting-out-of-doing-the-housework schemes suck Helen right into a sub-dom situation; and we can all hope to see the return of the Martin the Sound Man On Ice show.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) renowned theatre- and Disney-adorer Olly rejects Disney on Ice for not being theatrical enough; but we may come up with an ice show that does satisfy him.

Satisfy us with your questions: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Our albums – including season-appropriate AMT Holiday – and vintage episodes are available on iTunes, Amazon, and our own answermethisstore.com. Please do explore those, as well as some of our side projects such as The Allusionist, the Guardian’s Tech Weekly, Martin on a rocking horse.

We’ll return on 6th August 2015 with AMT320.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT319 Child-Friendly Rating: 28%. Some swears.
Martin refers to Marilyn Manson, whose very name corrupts the youth. If you switch it off half an hour in, you will spare your innocent children the final question about a relationship with a dominatrix, which entails discussion of BDSM, sex and Adult Situations. •••

Costume designer Anie's proof of Ice Cinderella's dress colour.

Costume designer Anie’s proof of Ice Cinderella’s dress colour.

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EPISODE 316: God’s packaging

June 11, 2015

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In Answer Me This! Episode 316, we have two very different questions concerning overpreparation for death. We also have:

cobbler problems
quinoa
wedding +1s
retirement climates
free salad vs free prawn crackers
cat shit vs cat sick
Mike Oldfield
Metallica Monopoly
soiled lost property
and
popular onions.

Plus: Olly will go on a cruise, as long as it’s free; Helen’s first musical memory is of a cool saboteur; and Martin the Sound Man wants you to slice your own apples and peel your own bananas, you big babies.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iStuff, Android and Windows devices), we continue AMT315‘s discussion of facial hair, and at long last hit on the format that’ll make Olly and Martin into YouTube stars. Or might have, ten years ago.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. If you’ve ever wanted to launch your own website/podcast/blog/online gallery, deploy the code and GET ON WITH IT.

Get on with sending us questions, too: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And commune with us between episodes at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

AMT317 will appear on 25th June 2015. Mark your calendars.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT316 Child-Friendly Rating: 87%. Minimal bawdy talk; just some sweaty undergarments, nothing alarming. A sprinkle of B-grade swears. •••

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humanising the human statues

March 17, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

Angela from Seattle writes:

I’m just catching up on a few episodes I missed.

Re AMT287, I see our well known painted statue gentleman walk through the neighborhood to catch the bus quite often. He is also regularly downtown at the bus stop and outside his post at Pike Place. Regularly in the rain with no running of his body paint. It astounds me.

When I see him walking past my house I always want to say hello and invite him in for a drink but alas, what is the protocol there? Answer me this: how does one go about convincing a living statue to come in and chat? (Is that creepy?! I am so curious about how and what he does outside of work.)

Readers, do you think there’s a romantic element to Angela’s interest in the human statue? Does she want to Pygmalion this situation?

Whether you do or not, head to the comments to suggest non-creepy ways for Angela to extend the hand of friendship – and also to discover the secrets of his stay-put make-up.

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wedding present pay-off

March 16, 2015

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT309

We are pleased to hear back from Matri-Money Troubles from Kent and also AMT306:

Thanks very much for your advice. Your chat raised some good points and ultimately you were right: the groom is a good friend, it’s one day (hopefully) and I shouldn’t be such an arse about it. In the end I stuffed an envelope with a wad of cash, put it in his hand and wished them a happy honeymoon.

And boy was I glad I took your advice when, during the speeches, he thanked me for all I had done, all my help, and for being such a good friend, before giving me a rather expensive thank you gift in front of everyone.

Had I not followed your advice I would’ve:

a) felt like a dick; and
b) looked like a dick.

Thanks for saving my arse.

You’re welcome, MMT. Don’t think of it as a wedding gift; think of it as an investment in the future of your friendship. Cheap at twice the price!

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EPISODE 306: sitting down is the new smoking

January 22, 2015

Fire up your podblasters; Answer Me This! Episode 306 has arrived:

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Today we consider:

Ainsley Harriott
Extreme Wink Murder
standing desks
Britney Spears’s haircare range
Barry Norman’s pickled onions
Paul Simon’s chicken and eggs
yellow dusters
skateboarding and similar activities
having ‘a bit of fun’ on Tinder
and
Chicken Kiev.

Plus: Olly’s madeleine is the Bernard Matthews Mini Kiev; Helen is sitting all the way to skating glory; and Martin the Sound Man preaches discretion when encountering colleagues on Tinder. Got something to confess, Martin?

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is another Stanley Mann Special, this time how he’s way ahead of his time with fashion trends. Full of surprises, that Mann. Hear on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets.

We welcome your questions with open arms and legs. Ask them by leaving voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Do not bother to ask them via facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly, because we might forget about them when it comes to the fortnightly question-harvest; but we do love to hear from you there nonetheless.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. WHERE’S THE ALL THE SHIT HIDING??? WHERE IS IT, I ASK YOU? Nowhere! No shit there at all! If only all of life were more like shitless Squarespace…

We’ll be back with AMT307 on 5th February, return then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT306 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. Quite a few swears. Some crudity towards the end, involving One Direction’s bodily fluids, polishing wood, and Tinder. •••

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dump a friend

January 21, 2015

8b7

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Tom from Derby is trying to friend zone an actual friend. He writes:

How do I break up with someone that I’m not in a relationship with? I have an acquaintance that I have nothing in common with and find conversation with him to be very difficult but he wants to go everywhere with me and invites me everywhere and basically comes on too strong. I think I might be his best friend but I don’t consider him more than an acquaintance and that makes me quite sad.

I tried getting to know him a bit better but I definitely don’t enjoy his company. I’ve tried ignoring his daily texts, Facebook messages and emails but they don’t dry up. I’ve tried avoiding him but he knows my haunts and is often there too.

My “friendship” with him is putting a strain on my real friendships and relationship as he keeps turning up the places that we go. He’s not a horrible person (and neither am I) but we just have nothing in common. I don’t want him to be lonely but I don’t want to see him several times a week for the rest of my life and wish he would pursue other friendships with more like-minded people.

We are both straight men – in case you jump to conclusions.

That’s a tricky one, Tom. I think you’re right to avoid engaging in his frequent comms, but it’s possible your aloofness is making this person even more eager to win your affection – like when you ignore a golden retriever, so they bounce all over you at every opportunity rather than playing it cool.

Readers, what would you do? Advise Tom in the comments. But remember to keep your emotional distance.

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Best of AMT 2014

December 18, 2014

AMT three
Listeners, thank you so much for contributing your attention, questions and eartime to us this year. What a year it has been! Relisten to the highlights – and lowlights, including such annual delights as the Parade of Melancholy Calls and the blooper reel – in The Best of Answer Me This! 2014:

 

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

So many precious moments… Create more of them in 2015 by sending us your QUESTIONS: leave a message on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

By the way, if you have the AMT app on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets, you have access to all the previous AMT Best Ofs. For those of you who are app-less, you can obtain these joyous compilations from answermethisstore.com/best. Also at the AMT store, iTunes and Amazon, you can buy our albums and old episodes – the perfect festive gift for the AMT fan, ie you, and the perfect gift for us, ie money to continue making the show next year.

Another Christmas gift we would love is for you to tell a friend about the show! There are still a few billion people in the world who are yet to hear it, so do your bit to remedy this sad situation.

We’ll be back on Thursday 8th January 2015 with AMT305; in the meantime, behave yourselves, and keep in touch at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Byeeeeee!!!

Helen & Olly

••• Best of AMT2014 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. Patchily suitable for all ears. The risk is yours. •••

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EPISODE 304: millions of Geoffrey, all under one roof

December 11, 2014


“Take two podcasts into the shower? Not me! I just use Answer Me This! Episode 304!”

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Today’s roster includes such topics as:

Wash & Go
roller derby rivalry
texting your ex
baby models
Geoffrey of Toys R Us
Facebook etiquette
advent calendar etiquette
Rod Stewart vs Barry Manilow
Rod Stewart’s train set
the Boston Bean
The Frog Chorus
Whip It IRL
and
the Swiss Cheese Pervert.

Plus: for Olly, giving is better than receiving (when it comes to picture messages); Helen does not belong on wheels; and Martin the Sound Man searches for logic in cartoon characters off adverts, which is really the wrong place to look.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets) as we learn about reindeers and their antlers. For a whole further hour of festive fun, do listen to the Answer Me This! Christmas, available at answermethisstore.com as well as iTunes and Amazon.

All we want for Christmas are your QUESTIONS, so shove them into our stockings, by which we mean leave a message on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also, forge the bounds of internet friendship at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly. Not LinkedIn, NEVER LinkedIn.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘answer’. That’s got to be better than anything you win in a cracker. (Except for the set of tiny screwdrivers or a bottle-opener shaped like an animal; both of these come in surprisingly useful. But, you know, the miniature pack of cards or tiny plastic comb or annoying puzzle made out of metal rings.)

The Best of AMT 2014 will be out next Thursday, 18th December. Return then!

Helen & Olly

••• AMT304 Child-Friendly Rating: 74%. Opens with further discussion of AMT303‘s cheese handjobs, but once the first couple of minutes are over, the rest of the episode’s topics are clean aside from two or three strong swears. •••

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making friends

November 26, 2014

Neon Arch Sign in Reno

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT302

This question is from Juma from Reno:

I am 29-year-old male living in Reno Nevada. I am married, and my wife and I have a very comfortable DINK (dual income no kids) lifestyle.

We have lived in Reno for the past three years, so far we have had no luck making adult friends. Is there a modern solution to this issue similar to Tinder or other dating apps? Not interested in anything sexual outside of our relationship, just some fellow DINKS to drink with.

Readers in Reno – and let’s open this out to Carson City, and the greater Tahoe area – let us know if you want to be friend-matchmade with Juma and his wife.

But we receive this question from people all over the place, so go to the comments to answer me this: IS there an app or online service for people to meet like-minded individuals with whom to become non-sexy friends? What is the Web 2.0 version of the church social or neighbourhood watch meeting?

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