Posts Tagged ‘gay’

EPISODE 323: not all snails

September 17, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

What is the greatest sorrow of being let go from a job? The loss of income? The blow to the self-esteem? The fear for the future? Or not even having tried the macho peas???

In Answer Me This! Episode 323, listeners wrestle with this problem and many more, such as:

Venetian gondolas
bendy straws
cheapskate dinner party cheats
the Queen’s Privy Council
snail-purging
Nando’s in the USA
Right Honourable Friends
coming out parties
the cola rankings
and
ironed underwear.

Plus: prepare to be FASCINATED as Olly shares his laundry workflow; Helen’s dad has failed to capitalise on Nando’s art collection; and Martin the Sound Man stops flirting and cuts to the chase – he’s starting a new podcast so prepare for launch.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – Martin recreates the Wicker Man out of straws and Helen inadvertently causes future mental scarring in her niece.

If you need ointment rubbed into your own mental scars, send us questions: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We are very grateful to Squarespace.com for supporting today’s show. Use the code ANSWER to get 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, which include a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support. That’s you covered.

We’ll return on 1st October 2015 with AMT324. Sprinkle yourself in spice mix and join us then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT323 Child-Friendly Rating: 81%. Couple of swears, no other hazards. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 321: Who can tell what a fly is thinking?

August 20, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Answer Me This! Episode 321‘s questioneers are concerned about networking, Taylor Swift’s ‘Bad Blood‘, and what they’ve found on their parents’ hard drives, as well as:

Mars 2112
confirmation names
butchers’ curtains
business cards
hiding XXX photos
the perils of Windows 10
the Mann school of networking vs the Zaltzman school of networking
the ‘Bad Blood’ galaxy of stars
flies
Picabo Street
Andre Rieu
Polari
and
adult colouring books.

Plus: Olly needs to spend more private time with the Victoria’s Secret catalogue; rather than giving Helen your business card, just put it straight into the recycling bin; and Martin the Sound Man wants you to preserve your parents’ sexual memories, and does NOT want any froyo.

There’s additional Bad Blood Chat in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App. When Olly went for an MRI recently, did he wear a white rubber bikini like Taylor Swift does in the video? To find out, fire up the app on your iThings, Android and Windows devices.

If, like Martin, you’re about to build a new website, do it using Squarespace.com, who sponsor today’s episode. Use the code ANSWER to get 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, which include a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support.

We have a 24/7 yearning for your questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Pal up at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 3rd September 2015 with AMT322. Until then, colour within the lines.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT321 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. A couple of strong swears, and we don’t know which will be more appalling to your children: the conversation about parents’ saucy photos, or the conversation about networking. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 314: respect the pine cones

May 14, 2015

Have you ever nicked a little something to remind you of a holiday? We’ve got a nice china cup pinched from a plane and YOU’LL NEVER TAKE US ALIVE, BRITISH AIRWAYS. What’s yours? One listener’s stolen souvenir came with fond memories and twenty years of guilt. Find out what and why in Answer Me This! Episode 314:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today we tackle:

tinfoil hats
dumping your training-buddy
same-sex kisses
concierges
Kendal Mint Cake vs transubstantiation
royal tins of travel sweets vs the unstoppable march of time
stealing from castles vs pissing in a stream
the silent film Wings
a Milton Keynes-themed bar
heritage crime
The Grand Budapest Hotel IRL
mummy and daddy
1995
and
giraffe heads.

Plus: though Olly prefers men to machines, he would prefer men to act like machines; Helen wouldn’t tune into a livestream of Princess Middleton giving birth; and Martin the Sound Man doesn’t have high hopes for his fellow academics on the ski slopes, unless the hopes are for a mild sprain rather than a broken arm.

As an addendum to the question about same sex kisses in films, today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) concerns the lost lesbians of Love Actually. Yes, they actually left material OUT of that sprawling collage of human emotions.

Share YOUR human emotions by sending us questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Generous!

We’ll return on 28th May 2015 with AMT315, prepare your tinfoil headphones.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT314 Child-Friendly Rating: 85%. Content clean. Swearing inventory: 2x ‘fuck’, 1x ‘shit’. 5% is deducted for each. •••

Martin the Sound Man sports a tinfoil hat at AMT100

Martin the Sound Man sports a tinfoil hat at AMT100

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 232 – all sorts of vagina shapes

October 11, 2012

Hello!

Holed up in the Holiday Inn in Salford Quays, we contemplated holding a Bed-In for Peace. But then we realised that if we did, the already oversubscribed lifts would become clogged up with press and peaceniks, leaving all the other hotel guests feeling far from peaceful. So, sorry, peace; we made Answer Me This! Episode 232 instead:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today we consider:

the Virgin Trains slow reveal
personal massagers
naughty Amazon
animal blood donation
magic oily fish
Les Rosbifs
immature students
maths vs. emotion
cottaging
Ping (who?)
and
the Holiday Inn pillow menu.

Plus: Olly would like to reverse decades of progress in gay rights just so he’s got something to read when he’s on the loo; Helen is unlikely to renew her wedding vows, unless the magazine deal is lucrative enough; and Martin the Sound Man goes off to have a rest in the rest room. He’s a very well-rested man.

Check out this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) if you’ve been wondering what happened next in the tale of vengeance from AMT231 and/or why your pineapple jelly won’t set.

We’re relieved to tell you that our Skype problem seems to be fixed, but if you used Skype to ask us a question in August or September, we never got it, so please ask it again by dialling up answermethis. You don’t need to worry if you sent a QUESTION via email (answermethispodcast@googlemail.com) or the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877); it’s safely swimming around with all the other questions in our question tank.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

Martin the Sound Man has a little alone time with the personal massager in the Holiday Inn.

ALBUMSiTUNESCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKQUESTION ARCHIVEFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 181 – ‘Teletubbies’ meets beating off

June 30, 2011

Look. We don’t want to point fingers or anything, but if you are the person who rifled through Olly’s desk and stole the gold jacket he bought at the Strictly Come Dancing costume auction, GIVE IT BACK. It may have been years ago now, but as you can hear in Answer Me This! Episode 181, the pain is still all too raw:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we also contemplate:

stagnant white scabs
fluorotrousers
Rhydian
grievous misuse of the Keith and the Girl book
black pudding
Black Eyed Peas
manuka honey
Henry Holland
aquarium pimp-shoes
Fruit and Fibre
Napoleon-compatible party themes
psychiatric facility reading matter
fish sausages
Baci
bees vs. babies
ice cream vs. ice lollies
globalisation vs. jokes
Seth Rogen vs. Olly Mann
our pitch for Wonderland
and
Elliott Gould.

Also – Olly’s not going to be inviting Mark Ronson on a trip to Topman anytime soon; Helen wonders about the secret life of Russell Brand and Katy Perry; and Martin the Sound Man finds the thing that keeps our conflict-strewn crazy world together: sausages. If only the UN would hurry up and realise.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone or Android) explains how Olly’s youthful ambition to be the next Christopher Pike was derailed by his innocence. Which is why he’s slumming it at AMT now rather than living in the gothy house that childish horror built.

You can be part of the childish horror that is next week’s episode by sending us your QUESTIONS – leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Of course we will struggle to emulate this childish horror, but it’s good to have goals in life.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 153 – a passing manatee in Islington

October 21, 2010

Greetings!

To follow the mood of this week, we must announce that we’ve decided to cut Answer Me This! Episode 153 by eight per cent. However we reassure you that we will be freezing the length of this episode at 27 minutes 37 seconds for the next two years, or until the apocalypse, whichever is sooner. Here you go:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Today’s time-of-austerity topics include:

non-alcoholic beer
Jim Henson’s fake rats
shadduck
Michael Apted
Lidl
Johnny Depp vs. Danny Dyer
Center Stage
Olly’s favourite condoms (surprisingly not these ones)
The Witches
Stephen Jones, milliner
isopropanol
Rowan Atkinson’s ‘early’ work
Bonnie Prince Billy’s hometown
Nicolas Roeg
identical twins
Michael Palin in drag
and
losing your virginity to a chair.

Plus: Olly has been repelled from his favourite snack by Gok Wan; Helen suggests a high school Joseph Mengele; and Martin the Sound Man plays off Gene Wilder and Spike Milligan against each other. WHO WILL WIN? We will, alas, never know.

What we do know is that next week is the last episode in which we’ll be handing out free books to questioneers, so send us your most brilliant QUESTIONS right now! Leave a voicemail on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, to which you should send your postal address if you are one of this week’s featured questioneers and want to claim your freebie.

If you want to claim your not-quite-free-but-really-not-too-pricey copy of Answer Me This!: Collected Juvenilia, then investigate answermethispodcast.com/book, whereat you will find not only links to a few online bookshops, but also some sample pages to induce you to preorder itmake you decide to order Booky Wook 2 instead.

Helen and Olly

PS Forgot to mention: this week’s bonus bit on the app is Olly’s account of his recent debut trip to a branch of Hooters. It was all in the name of post-feminist irony, alright?

Subscribe with iTunesBookQuestion ArchiveFAQEpisodes
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 146 – drowning Lara Croft

August 19, 2010

Hello chums,

This week, in Answer Me This! Episode 146, we turn to prayer. Don’t worry though; we counterbalance that with computer-game sadism.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Appearing this week in our speech are:

exploding Anthea Turner (don’t worry, she survived!)
The Daily Bra (a bit NSFW)
‘Whistle While You Work’ vs. ‘Girls and Boys Come Out To Play’ vs. ‘Greensleeves’
Theme Park
Katamari Damacy
you singular vs. you plural
young Mann’s evil marketing ruses
Skype at a wedding
the Siemens TJ 10500 Dressman
Spaced
busy Henry VIII
the JFK death-film
and
Queen Victoria’s forbidden thunderbox

Plus: windy Olly has to choose between his girlfriend and his trouser-press; Helen is going to Hell for what she did to the Lord’s Prayer; and Martin the Sound Man says something sensible about balls for once. We’re also delighted to hear that love blooms between you listeners in even the unlikeliest of places (namely facebook.com/answermethis)

Meanwhile, over on the AMT app, there’s a very curious question from Kiki in Manchester about the Amelie-ish discovery of a mysterious photo of a baby surrounded by matchsticks. Have any of you mislaid such a thing? And in this week’s episode of Great British Questions, our toilet humour knows no bounds. The series is now finished, but come back next week for our Great British Outtakes reel.

Next week, in episode 147, we’ll be joined by special guest Ian Collins of the Late Show on talkSPORT; so send your QUESTIONS for Ian (and us) by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or firing off an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

That’s all!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 137 – the official gay men who fancy Olly Mann club

May 27, 2010

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
“Of randy stroppy teenagers;
“Ant queens; the term ‘left wing’…”

Believe that Walrus, because there’s all that and yet more talk of many things in Answer Me This! Episode 137:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Including:

Top of the Pops
Dorian Gray
Next t-shirts
the golddigging DVLA
Freddie Windsor
blackberries
‘Turning Japanese’
electronic vs. paper voting
aristocrats vs. bohos
Shirley Valentine vs. the Wailing Wall
Russell Grant
and
Knightmare.

Plus: Olly is a man with a tiny car and a less tiny waist; Helen should have gnawed off her bad leg rather than sit through the Scooby Doo movie; and Martin the Sound Man comes up with a plan to oust the National Lottery’s Voice of the Balls, probably because he must be jealous that there is someone whose job title is ‘the Voice of the Balls’. Even more gallingly, the guy is a multi-millionaire. Watch out, Mr Ball-voice, there’s a sound man out for your blood…

…Meanwhile, the rest of us are out for your QUESTIONS, so bestow them upon us by leaving a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis and by sending an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 100 – Live centenary extravaganza at the iTunes Festival!

July 16, 2009

episode 100

Fanfares please, readers! For against all odds (given that we expected to be fully estranged WAY before completing the century), Answer Me This! has hit 100. Right in the face. Wallop!

Of course we couldn’t let such a landmark pass in normal fashion; so instead of kicking about in our home studio in Crystal Palace, we trotted across town to the historic Roundhouse in Camden, and recorded the episode in front of an audience of fans and Olly’s extended family as part of the iTunes Live Festival. Technically we were La Roux’s support act, although she was probably cheerfully unaware of this.

To get a fuller sense of the occasion, conjure up a few of the following images to accompany the audio experience:
1. circular room in the bowels of the Roundhouse, that was rather like the innards of a compass
2. balloon animals
3. party bags, including sweeties, cheap plastic toys, sudoku and VERY LOUD party whistles
4. Kanye specs and foil hats.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

From the folds of our sparkly centenary cloaks we whipped out such topics as:

i-mutation
dislocated hips
sweaty necks
Dodie Smith
filofaxes
Fortnum’n’Mason
chimichangas
Neo’s address
palindromes
George Orwell
Olly’s Mum
and
a fake egg.

Plus: how the podcast began! What’s really going on with Martin the Sound Man! The practicality of coming out on a podcast! And the future of AMT! Joining us for this cavalcade of fun were Josie Long, Alex Thomas, Tommy Herbert, Matthew Crosby; and joining Martin the Sound Man on bass, uke and drums was Richard Acton of the band Limn. We must also thank Alicky Ashby and Julie Wang for the photos, because I doubt we will make another such visually arresting podcast for quite some time.

We hope you enjoy the festivities; but next week the show is back to normal, so we will of course be requiring YOUR QUESTIONS: please email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, phone 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis (Skype seems to have been playing up a bit lately so make sure you elocute to the max).

See you next week, for palindromic prime episode 101!

Helen and Olly

SUBSCRIBE WITH iTUNESAMT BOOKQUESTION ARCHIVEEPISODESFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH