Posts Tagged ‘hair’

EPISODE 350: mysterious fluid

May 4, 2017

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Ever run over a fox and thought, “Mmm, maybe I could cook that up for dinner – but how?” No? Well, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 350 anyway. You never know when survivalist recipes might come in handy.

polar bear liver
pixelating Naked and Afraid
mothers vs mountains
Olly getting slebspotted
George’s Marvellous Medicine
Kilroy was here
rivets
overly invasive personal questions
Gary Lineker’s crisps
and
barbicide.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – cats square off against their greatest adversaries: cucumbers.

Thanks jolly much to today’s sponsors Squarespace.com. Get 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Martin just won a BRITISH PODCAST AWARD for his Tom Waits podcast Waits Waits Don’t Tell Me But Waits There’s More Song By Song! Well done Martin!

Better listen to Song By Song, then; and to Olly’s The Week Unwrapped and The Modern Mann; and to Helen’s Allusionist and her new gig on Radio 4’s Four Thought from 17 May.

You can also hear our past selves in the retro AMT episode we throw into your feed mid-month; to get it, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice. Or if you want more of them at the time of your choosing, they’re all available at answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums.

Free audiobook? Free audiobook: answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT351 on 1 June 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 18 May.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT350 Child-Friendly Rating: 77%. Couple of swears, no grot. •••

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EPISODE 347: half an eyebrow

February 2, 2017

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Today we mourn. We mourn questioneer Calum’s half-eyebrow, taken from him too soon. Our deepest sympathies, Calum.

Also in Answer Me This! Episode 347, we consider:

getting lucky at potlucks
mugshots
Letchworth Garden City
bread crusts
Ebenezer Howard
Concretopia
the Spirella Building
the Cheap Cottages Exhibition Ideal Home Show
glittery puddings
dead dogs
draining cats
and
vampire bats.

Plus, can we get your input on:
i. Michael Parkinson’s height? Is he 5’10” or over 7′ tall?
ii. Alumni of Olly’s school who are more famous than Olly (and thus also more famous than George Lamb and Sonia Friedman)?
iii. Chocolate fondants looking like parted legs, all sexy-like?

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – there’s a warning about which films to go to see at the cinema if you want to sit next to Olly frigging himself raw. Or which ones to avoid if you don’t.

Do NOT avoid our album AMT Love, in which we talk for an hour about sex and relationships (with some phenomenal musical work by Martin, exclusive to this). It’s available from the AMT store – you can also get it from iTunes and Amazon, if you prefer – along with our other albums and our classic episodes.

BTW, if mention of ‘November Rain’ made you want to hear more, we talk about it in AMT131, so try that one. And don’t forget to subscribe to AMT if you don’t already to receive a monthly Retro AMT episode in your feed!

Keep your ears busy with our other audio projects: Olly has a new one, The Week Unwrapped; Helen’s Allusionist is about to unleash new episodes about romance; and Martin’s Song By Song has reached that Tom Waits song that he had to sue Levi’s over.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS (not your fart noises): call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT348 on 2 March 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 16 February.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT347 Child-Friendly Rating: 30%. A bit vulgar. •••

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EPISODE 336: have the decency to get your balls out

July 28, 2016

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There are many refreshments in Answer Me This! Episode 336: tea, milk, and a drink Olly describes as ‘mashed-up urinal cake in a glass’. Mmmm! It’s the new hipster cocktail!

We also consider such topics as:

‘Roses are Red’
getting an upgrade at the airport
honeymoon bowel trouble
hush puppies
Hush Puppies
Slush Puppies
this famous policeman’s helmet
flowery emoji
things to do in Peterborough
signatures
and
streaking.

Plus: Olly would like it to be known that he is not a geek (except for musical theatre and Disney); forget going naked, Helen won’t even take her cardigan off for money; and Martin the Sound Man believes in bowel karma.

Sorry for forgetting the Bonus Bit of Crap on the App for AMT335, but this one contains further contemplation of streaking and public nudity. Get the app on your iThings, Android and Windows devices.

There are links to the apps at answermethisstore.com, where you’ll also find AMTs 1-200, plus our special albums. The Answer Me This! Holiday is the (or at least a) soundtrack to your summer, and there’s also AMT Sports Day to get you pumped for the Olympics. And remember to get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible. By doing any or all of these things, you’re supporting the show.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 11 August with AMT337,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT336 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%low on foul language but there are references to sex. •••

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EPISODE 334: Earth Mysteries

June 30, 2016

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While Britain Brexits, the rest of us brick it. Well, one listener certainly does, as the proud owner of a single brick. Congratulations, that man! We’re glad one listener in Answer Me This! Episode 334 is happy, at least. Others have trouble with:

public sex
haircuts in space
Apple Store geniuses
buttercups
the Pilton Glastonbury Festival
gravity vs hair-washing
wind chimes
ambient noise apps
queening
Eiffel Towering
Jeff Lynne
and
the price of clay.

Plus: Olly attends a Barry Manilow rally; Helen makes clear the relationship between her and podcast listeners; and Martin the Sound Man manages to sully both sexy role play and the Apple Store in one line.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices), Olly is perplexed by the logistics of ‘queening’, and we wonder about the admin of having a particularly thrilling sex life.

For an easier-to-organise thrill, get the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200. And treat yourself to a free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible, to drown out the sound of Britain sticking its hand into the toaster and screaming with surprise when it hurts.

You can also spot a bit of Glastonbury in the Romance instalment of our Great* British Questions series of videos from a few years ago.

*sob!

Oh, and Martin did a song about a brick.

Got questions? Call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 14 July with AMT335,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT334 Child-Friendly Rating: 5%. Contains the earliest swear ever in an episode of AMT. Blame Brexit. •••

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EPISODE 331: wanking doesn’t change

January 28, 2016

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With Olly’s baby poised to make his entrance into this world, Answer Me This! Episode 331 is our last episode before our three-month paternity leave, while Olly adjusts to fatherhood and Helen adjusts to going outside occasionally. Savour answers about:

lads’ mags
cereal toys
spotting the stars of tomorrow as they toil at the Disney parks
‘For He’s as dead as a herring a Jolly Good Fellow’
swimming rabbits
cafes vs brasseries vs bistros
Jane Eyre vs Thelma and Louise
The Lord of the Rings road trips
Jo Guest
Tutti Frutti in 3D
ceramic babies
blue rinses
Bulgarian food
Skyrim
Kevin Costner
and
Titcoin.

Plus: we’ve birthed a new album! AMT Love is out now, and you can read all about it and click to buy it at answermethispodcast.com/love.

A question from AMT Love went astray and ended up as today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices). It’s from long-time AMT listener Ace: if you’re young, poor and in Oxford, and you want to go on a Tinder date but you don’t want it to be “Drink?” or “Coffee?”, what do you do instead? Why, you date AMT-style of course! Meet you by the singing cockroaches.

During our three months off, why not amuse yourself by starting a podcast/online store/website using today’s sponsor Squarespace.com? You can have 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, plus a free domain thrown in, if you invoke the code ANSWER at checkout.

We will return in May, but keep in touch in the meantime at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis – which is where we will let you know the due date of AMT332 a couple of weeks ahead of time, AND where we will also post news of Baby Mann once he appears (and has been through hair and makeup, had a spray tan, and undergone intensive media training).

All together now: “For he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good fellow, for he’s a jolly good herring…WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY.”

Helen & Olly

••• AMT331 Child-Friendly Rating: 42%
Some swears, but pretty clean until the last ten minutes, when there’s a question about lads’ mags and top shelf publications. YOU KNOW THE ONES WE MEAN. The ones your kids are too short to reach/don’t need to reach because they can view all the proclivities of humanity on your phone that they swiped from you. •••

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hairdressers’ hairy feet

April 15, 2015

 

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If there are any hairdressers, trichologists or mythbusters reading this, please go to the comments ASAP to answer this question from Hollie in Reading:

My boyfriend is adamant that hairdressers never wear flip flops because if they get cut hair on their feet it can attach itself and grow!

Is this true?

We have been arguing about it for 5 years and he is wearing me down. It sounds so ridiculous but he is certain and even got a hairdresser friend to tell me ‘the truth’ and she agreed with him! Is he right? Can hair attach itself to other people’s skin?

I would imagine that hair trimmings, particularly short ones, could stick like a splinter into a hairdresser’s foot, hence them choosing more protective footwear. But, just as a splinter in your foot won’t grow into a sapling, NO OF COURSE SOMEONE ELSE’S HAIR TRIMMINGS CANNOT TAKE ROOT AND GROW OUT OF A HAIRDRESSER’S FOOT.

I’m not a scientist, so maybe I’m wrong. But cut hair is dead, so surely I’m not.

Next question: if someone has particularly sweaty feet, could you grow cress inside their damp trainers?

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EPISODE 308: haunted by an image of my father’s penis

February 19, 2015

Answer Me This! Episode 308 is a surprisingly jobs-themed episode, with questions about whether your tertiary education should prepare you for one, to how your hair can affect your ability to get one, to what you do when you lose one.

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On today’s roster are such topics as:

cat-cleaning
pink hair
green hair
vocations
FDR’s hot dog banquet
Bill Clinton’s night out with the lads
redundancy
sleeping naked
fainting at Elvis
and
throwing knickers at Tom Jones.

Plus: a typo made Olly a lot more popular in 90s chatrooms; if you’ve been made redundant, join Helen at the Daytime Cinema Club; and Martin the Sound Man manages to make a big pile of underwear sound like the grossest, most unappealing, least sexy thing possible.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – which you can get for your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets – we continue to contemplate the question about how our nightwear-averse questioneer could dress for slumber. There must be a compromise between a tutu and a full suit of armour.

If you are struggling with a similarly grievous quandary, send it – or any question – to us, as a voicemail on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or an email sent to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can also keep us company online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to Squarespace.com for supporting this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. Which you should, to demonstrate your devotion to this podcast.

Since we are devoted to providing you with this podcast, we’ll return on 5th March 2015 with AMT309.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT308 Child-Friendly Rating: 64%. A few swears, though the strongest are right at the end, so you could cut out before then. Very mild bawdiness in the question about naked sleeping, but nothing that would startle a nun. •••

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EPISODE 295 – the genetic lottery

August 7, 2014

AMT legs
Cor, get a load of those stems, listeners! This week, the men of AMT (that’s Olly and Martin the Sound Man, in case you couldn’t work it out) show off their shapely pins – but whose pins are shapelier? Cast your vote in the comments for the left or right pair of legs. Self-esteems depend upon it. Why? Find out in Answer Me This! Episode 295:

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We also find out about:

OS maps
Freshers’ Week
the price of buses
Kent vs France
psoriasis vs Parkinson’s
Helen’s dad’s genes vs Helen’s dad’s jeans
bat detectors
human meat
William Seabrook
Andy Serkis
auctioneers’ patter
mature students
existential questions at Buckler’s Hard
bereavement
corporate tangrams
and
Helen’s first teapot.

We also wonder whether Martin the Sound Man has gone completely batshit, as he tries to converse with bats, thinks jackets = character, and yet again airs his obsession with Holly Hunter. Turn off the lights and pretend you’re not home, Holly!

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android or Windows gadgetry), we tackle a question from Tori about rumours about teachers that swirled around school. In our cases, most of those rumours were cleaner than the reality.

Make AMT296 a reality by supplying some QUESTIONS: leave a message on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis), and/or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our imaginary friend at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks very much to our benevolent sponsers Squarespace.com for supporting both this episode and your website-building endeavours: enter the code Answer for 10% off their website-hosting, -designing and -troubleshooting services for a whole year and build, build, build!

We shall return with AMT296 on 21st August, unless this leg rivalry means Olly and Martin will no longer agree to be in the same room as each other. It’s pretty serious.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT295 Child-Friendly Rating: 86%. A couple of swears, but no lascivious content. •••

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EPISODE 293 – horny warlords

July 3, 2014

Hello listeners,

When you’re trying to make new friends, what’s the best icebreaker? One of today’s questioneers thinks talking about death is the way to go. See if you agree in Answer Me This! Episode 293:

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We also consider less morbid topics, such as:

Viagra calorie content
I Love Lucy
Wayne Rooney’s new hair vs Kyle Beckerman’s old hair
Vancouver vs Pinner
chocolate vs chocolate flavoured chocolate-esque solids
fire hazard fiances
Jason Biggs
jetlagged hamsters
Crystal Creams
Russian Roulette
giving references
borrowing a cup of sugar
and
fucking a pork pie.

Plus: Olly explains the difference between Jewish front gardens and gentile front gardens; Helen will be hibernating all summer (correct term: ‘aestivating‘); and Martin the Sound Man has a restaurant ratings system that will render Michelin stars obsolete.

Since this episode kicks off (yes I went there) with football, one of our least favourite topics, we address another in today’s Bit of Crap on the App: zombies. We could scarcely feel more ambivalent, but since so many of you love them, do your special zombie walk over to the app store in order to listen on your iDevice, Android or Windows toy.

If your brain hasn’t been eaten, please send us QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our imaginary friend at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

TTFN!

Helen & Olly

••• AMT293 Child-Friendly Rating: Squeaky-clean first third, then a question about Viagra. This is alright, until around 19 minutes into the episode the conversation turns to American Pie, whence it degenerates horribly. The rest of the episode is fine aside from a few swears, but realistically you’ll already have had to switch over to Fun Kids, so overall we have to rate this episode as 27%. •••

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EPISODE 277 – Millennium Bug Minister

October 31, 2013
Dinosaur-themed adventure golf!

Dinosaur-themed adventure golf!

This week’s episode comes from AMT’s rural outpost: Olly’s new house in the countraayyyyyy. And you know who else lives there? Of course it’s Olly’s beloved cat COCO! Listen carefully for her special guest appearance in Answer Me This! Episode 277:

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We discuss:

the man who can fry his own hands
dinosaur-themed minigolf
YouTube tutorials
‘vlogging’
golf sales
godparents
the Millennium Bug
Echo and the Bunnymen
Bob Dylan vs Paul McCartney
the royal death light
and
paruresis.

Plus: Olly prefers silence and privacy during lavatory-time; Helen does not endorse the Divine Right of Kings; and Martin the Sound Man destroys Olly by winning Coco’s affections (and eating all the chocolate buttons). Look at him, brazenly wooing her away from the Mann who loves her most.

Martin steals Olly's cat's love

Martin steals Olly’s cat’s love

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows) Olly betrays his younger self by not bothering to meet Jason Donovan.

Please do bother to send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Thanks to listener Gil8ert for the jingle, to pod-colleague Roman Mars for calling in, and to squarespace.com for bringing you this episode. To get 10% off their myriad wonderful website-building services, remember to use the code Answer10.

In the words of Atomic Kitten, see ya!

Helen & Olly

AMT277 Child-Friendly Rating: 76%. A handful of swears. Reference to a blowie. Discussion of weeing adjacent to famous people. Could be a lot worse.

PS:

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween

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“Cheer up love, it’ll grow back…”

August 28, 2013

51-ST-cF-FL._AA300_

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Questioneer Liz has lopped off her head-top femininity, and people are going apeshit about it even though we’ve seen the same many times over, from Audrey Hepburn/Michelle Williams/Halle Berry/Demi Moore/Miley Cyrus/’Stop’-era Posh Spice/bad-era Britney, right through to Joan of Arc.

She writes:

I recently decided to cut my hair into a short crop style (I am a 29 year old female doctor), and ever since have been astonished at the deluge of rude, inappropriate and frankly outright mean things that people have said to me. When I say ‘people’, I am mostly referring to men. One male friend’s first response was “Are you a lesbian now?” whilst another stated “I don’t like short hair on girls, you look like a boy”. I have been ordered to grow it long again, asked “What went wrong at the hairdressers?” and told “You will never get a boyfriend now”. In contrast my female friends have been highly supportive, stating it looks great.

So, answer me this: Why do men think it is OK to be mean to women with short hair? And are my female friends lying in saying it looks great? (which surely is the safe and socially accepted way to go – to be honest I’d appreciate more men taking this route!)

I’m not a man, but reader, if you are one, go to the comments and explain to Liz why her haircut might be causing upset. Since we don’t have photo evidence that the style doesn’t make Liz look like Jimmy Krankie rather than Winona Ryder, let’s assume that she does look nice with it. Let’s also assume that Liz’s primary purpose is not to look attractive to her male friends.

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EPISODE 261 – SO delicious

June 13, 2013

Hello listeners,

This week, we learn a few very important lessons about sheep: not to underestimate them intellectually and emotionally; what they have in common with Margaret Thatcher; and what they also have in common with Helen’s mum. Discover these things right now in Answer Me This! Episode 261:

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In which we also learn about:

emogothpunk style
Casper the Suicidal Ghost
small-talk with accountants
the losers’ cafe in The Apprentice
BHS Dr Martens
free sunglasses
pony-drawn rollers
the Cabinet vs. the Divine Right of Kings
iced coffee vs. cold coffee
Olly’s face vs. Richard Gere’s face
The All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club
hair-blindness
and
advice from Paul Ross.

Plus: Olly had to go cold turkey on the brown, by which we mean Mr Brown drinks, not heroin; Helen sounds and looks and smells like an old fart; and Martin the Sound Man’s emotional needs are not going to be met by sheep. Let’s not even contemplate whether they can meet his sexual needs, please. But you can meet Martin’s needs by going to his website or YouTube to watch his spectacular new music video (/visual evidence of his nervous breakdown).

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Helen expresses her ever-unrealised desire for unusual-coloured hair. She may have wimped out of having an experimental phase in her teens, but when she’s a geriatric she WILL go full-bore Marge Simpson. Promise.

Promise us to send us your QUESTIONS for our next series: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We’ll be back with AMT262 on 11th July, so please join us then; in the meantime, check back here for our imminent album, the Answer Me This! Holiday, our all-new follow-up to our Top 20 (no really!) albums Jubilee and Sports Day, available for your delectation at answermethispodcast.com/albums.

Byeeee!

Helen & Olly

AMT261 Child-Friendly Rating: 90%.
References to hiding pornographic magazines; very mild profanity.

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