Posts Tagged ‘interviews’

EPISODE 315: jazz dab

May 28, 2015

Are you ready to get your stonk on? (Whatever that actually means.) Then listen to Answer Me This! Episode 315:

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Today we deal with:

caffeine overdoses
the Lotto Drawmaster’s gloves
iPad infidelity alerts
soundchecks
Periscope
Hale and Pace
goatees
Van Dykes
imperials
and
nemeses.

Plus: Olly lies about his breakfast and reveals a surprising new phobia; Helen ruins some of your favourite songs; and Martin the Sound Man luckily has grown out of his Nu Metal phase.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) is a question from Steffy in Bristol: ‘What is Swarovski crystal?’

For more additional listening, this is the podcast we mentioned about the consequences of soundchecking by asking interviewees ‘What did you have for breakfast?’ Makeuthink.

Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. After you’ve shaved off your soul patch, befriend us at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 11th June 2015 with AMT316, can you keep your stonk going until then?

Helen & Olly

••• AMT315 Child-Friendly Rating: 40%. Quite a few swears. Question about infidelity; not sexually graphic, but may compel your child to ask Awkward Questions. A lot of boner chat in the question about ‘stonk’, but not so much lewd as sobering in light of recent BBC revelations. •••

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EPISODE 243 – romper suit with a bow tie

January 24, 2013

Good morning listeners,

Today, we set you some coursework. We need you to conduct practical experiments into Thorntons‘ personalised icing policies, and report the results with illustrative materials. Your challenge is fully explained in Answer Me This! Episode 243:

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Wherein we contemplate:

Roland Wank
elephant gelatine
Frankel
Milky Way
Percy Pig and Pals confectionery counterfeits
Game On
cutlery rules
bow tie rules
Monopoly real estate
dishwasher doors
Rizla+
Bill Bottrell
Mr Mars
Olympics keyrings
Brent Dixon’s keychains
the mystery of ‘Black or White’
and
onesies.

Plus: Olly admits that he likes to be infantilised, to the surprise of nobody; Helen finds out where to pass ‘Go’, but nobody gives her £200; and capitalist Martin the Sound Man gets trumped playing Socialist Monopoly.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we discuss Channel 4’s Wank Week, which never aired because it was too classy for their schedules.

Don’t think you’re too classy to send us your QUESTIONS: all are welcome, so email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or leave a voicemail on the Question Line 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

PS Remember, every week you can receive an extra shot of us talking if you listen to BBC 5 Live’s Let’s Talk About Tech podcast.
PPS You can receive numerous extra shots of Martin the Sound Man by seeking out his myriad other podcasts: The Sound of the Ladies podcast, the Brain Train podcast, the Global Lab podcast…

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“Room to let. Non-smoking, non-enthusiastic, non-cool preferred.”

October 9, 2012

CLICK HERE FOR AMT231

As living arrangements have taken over from weddings as the AMT question topic of the season, let’s hear from Alistair:

I’ve recently been flat hunting in London. Due to the competitive nature of London dwellings at prices I can afford, I’ve found it to be much more like an interview or
X Factor audition every time I see a room, rather than a viewing of the property.

So answer me this: should I play it cool and collected when I view a room, or should I go all out and let my full personality shine through in an overly enthusiastic horrible mess?

Try operating on a setting somewhere between those two extremes, Alistair, because most people don’t really want to share with either a sociopath or a chatterbox. Aim for engaging, but not too needy. You can unleash the real babbling lunatic Alistair when you’ve successfully signed the lease and it’s too late for them to get rid of you. Aaah-hahaha!

Readers, please visit the comments to give Alistair your own tips on how to wow his potential new cohabitants, because it has been many years since I had to audition a flatmate (Martin just moved in with me without even asking, and I DON’T EVEN GET MY OWN ROOM). But I would recommend that you don’t turn up late or use a false name. Both of those used to sour the start of the vetting process, and it rarely improved from there.

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EPISODE 122 – a really cool X Files-themed cocktail bar

January 14, 2010

Hello pals!

So Simon Cowell has left American Idol. Rumours he’s jumped ship to Answer Me This! are unsubstantiated. Because they’re completely fabricated! But let’s start one, just for giggles.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week:

Frightfest
the revolving restaurant in Berlin
venereal disease
Bovril
junior wine buffs
Agamemnon
A Serious Man
culinary innovation in Streatham
Simon Armitage
the wrath of Kate Winslet
and
Dr Cilla Black.

In addition: Olly demonstrates why he should never be made editor of the Oxford Etymological Dictionary; Helen spots the hidden messages to the Russians in sweetie adverts; and Martin the Sound Man does NOT want to have sex with you in a toilet. Not even if you ask really nicely. We also hear about one of our listener’s friendship dealbreakers – if you have one of your own, share it in a comment below. Because we all enjoy other people bitching about their dear friends, don’t we?

Please send us YOUR QUESTIONS for future episodes, via answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877. And we hope you’re thoroughly enjoying your free Audible audiobooks; if you haven’t already got yours, skedaddle to our Audible page and sign thyself up.

We’ll see you next week!

Helen and Olly

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EPISODE 106 – Queen Victoria’s toilet

August 27, 2009

Hey, pissheads!

As the age of economic belt-tightening continues tiresomely, listener Alex from Nottingham has kindly lent us his cunning way of getting drunk on the cheap. If you want to know what his budget route to fast-track inebriation is – involves both do-gooding and personal risk! – then just bend your ear to Answer Me This! Episode 106:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p, through iTunes or a secure PayPal server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

And on today’s dance-card:

Brighton Pavilion
Jennifer Lopez
We Are Klang’s furniture
the asymmetry of marriage
London vs. York
Tallahassee vs. Martin’s sanity
Puritans vs. decor
Ann Widdecombe vs. the Jonas Brothers
double-barrelled surnames
the antiques of the future
Olly’s grandmother’s wallpaper
Helen’s father’s gullibility
and
the dragon in Shrek

Plus: Olly’s Big Blood Giveaway is ruined by alternative medicine; Helen is defeated by mere wallpaper; and Martin the Sound Man brings someone back from the dead, or at least wakes them up after a moderate thwack to the head. He’s a miracle-weaver! Bring your children to Answer Me This! Towers and he will bless them for £20 a head. 10% discount for two-headed babies.

Aaaanyway, if you have a problem concerning your two-headed baby, or perhaps another query of some kind, let us know! Send your QUESTIONSto answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or speak them to Skype ID answermethis or the question line 0208 123 5877.

Right, we’re off to nab the last remaining blackberries in Crystal Palace park before the birds shit on all of them, but we’ll see you next week. Bye!

Helen and Olly

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Gimme a job, dickface! Sorry, I meant MISTER Dickface.

August 27, 2009

Frankly none of your interview bloopers have quite matched up to Neal from Crawley‘s stump-shaking cringerama, as featured in Episode 105, but we realise that’s a tough act to follow, and we’re still very pleased you’ve shared with us your solecisms. Check them out HERE. Below are a few more that came into our inbox. Tanya from Twickenham recounts an awkward university interview:

I had to sit on what looked like a kitchen chair in the middle of a massive room. There were two interviewers, a man and a woman – the man was sitting on the far right side of the room on a very high chair like a barstool and the woman was sitting on a very low sofa on the far left side of the room.

I felt totally ridiculous looking from one to the other from my isolated position in the middle of the room, and I could hardly hear what the woman was asking me as she was so far away. The man picked his nose throughout the whole thing.

When I left, I tripped over the rug and crashed into the door. They didn’t offer me a place.

Another university interview Fail comes from Alex from Nottingham:

I had an interview to study medicine at UEA. I took the train down and there was a death on the track ahead; I never got the details but we got an announcement that the police had made it into a crime scene as we rushed to the coach.

Later on in my interview the interviewer asked if I had any trouble getting there and I replied, “Oh not much, I came down on the train but there was a death on the track ahead.” There was an awkward pause and so I carried on, “…Which almost made me late.” I then realised this was the kind of callous thing never to say to an interviewer whose primary purpose was to analyse how caring and compassionate I was. Unsurprisingly, I did not get in.

This one from Alasdair from Austria reads more like an early-90s sitcom plot:

In 1991 as students, a friend and I went to an interview for a placement year in Wiltshire from Leicester, and it was the worst time ever. I did the normal thing and was up early and dressed smart etc., then dropped around to my friend’s house to find he had pulled the night before and was asleep with her and hungover. After an impolite and confusing rush to get him awake and help him get his clothes and car keys etc. and somehow explain to the lady that we had to go, we piled into his car and drove off.

About an hour later, after occasionally helping him stay on the road by “assisting” him with the steering wheel, we ran out of petrol. I had to walk sweating up a hill with a petrol can and luckily found a farmer’s house and persuaded the farmer’s wife to drive me to a petrol station and get petrol. At least it was a respite from the stale alcohol fumes from my friend’s mouth. He was of course asleep when I got back to the car.

We finally arrived in the small town almost late, and my friend was not yet in his suit. We ended up stopping at a pub to change, but since it was before opening hours it was closed and he had to get changed in a little plastic kiddy tree-house. As you can imagine we arrived thoroughly rattled, I was physically shaking from fried nerves and we hadn’t eaten.

In the end I got offered a job. My friend was still hungover of course and didn’t.

Any more for any more? No need to be shy, you’re among friends here. Share with us by commenting here, that we might all learn from your mistakes laugh at your misfortune.

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