Posts Tagged ‘Italy’

EPISODE 335: you cannot patent drinking and urinating

July 14, 2016

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Who let the dogs out? And who got the dogs stoned? We address these very important canine questions in Answer Me This! Episode 335, along with others more about:

Lego love, lost
wedding gambling
Soda Stream vs Nutribullet
pissing dolls vs pissing Elmo
theatre-adjacent Italian restaurants
the Crystal Palace pizza district
Tony Awards for Tonys
Oscar Isaac
Oscar Hammerstein II
and
Oscar seatfillers.

Plus: Olly is DONE with Star Wars, so don’t even bother; Helen is waiting for the Emmys to introduce a podcasting category; and Martin the Sound Man could improve his gifting game.

Need something to ease you off the thrill of the Wimblesport, or hype you up for the imminent Olympics? Try the AMT Sports Day album from answermethisstore.com, where you can also purchase our other albums and episodes 1-200 – including AMTs 186 and 187 for the full Owl City experience by proxy. And remember to get your free audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 28 July with AMT336,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT335 Child-Friendly Rating: 72%. Only a swear or two, but there is discussion of drugs, gambling and disrespectful sexual behaviour. •••

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The Best of AMT 2015

December 24, 2015

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Join us for a jaunt through The Best of Answer Me This! 2015, where we revisit such bright spots from the year as:

Paul Simon Says
Buddha, fat and thin
the Stephen King’s IT tattoo
the CKBLT (Chicken Kiev BLT sandwich)
Jurassic Park: The Ballet
Juliet’s balcony
Grumpy Cat
Melanie Griffith’s lion
Nicolas Cage’s octopus
Andre Rieu’s face
highlighter pen(i)s
undead Mike Oldfield
wedding +1 etiquette
Byrd Sister
Greek wine
dominatrix problems
and
olive theft.

And, as every year, there are the Previously Unheard Bits of AMT, plus our favourite: the Melancholy Voicemail Parade.

Haven’t heard the Best Of AMT collections from previous years? Get them at answermethisstore.com/best. All the hits, none of the shits!

Also while you’re at the AMT store, you can buy our classic episodes, albums and apps. By doing so, you’re supporting the show – and obliterating the howling silence, right?

Send in your questions for AMT in 2016: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return with AMT330 on 14th January 2016. Happy Christmas/New Year/early January to you all, and thanks for listening this year.

Helen & Olly

••• Best of 2015 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. As in, 50% of the content is child-friendly. The other 50% really isn’t. You know the score by now. •••

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EPISODE 328: like it or lump it

November 26, 2015

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How do you tell your mum that she is a STUPID WOMAN who is RUINING CHRISTMAS by buying you the WRONG GIFT? Plus other polite and classy problems compose Answer Me This! Episode 328, in which we contemplate:

NaNoWriMo
sexist succession
breaking into your own house
vinegar vs menstruation
the novels of Katie Price
the novels of Ben Elton
pregnant Virgin Mary paintings
snooping on your Christmas presents
procrastination
the big piece of paper of Jack Kerouac
the little piece of paper in a box of chocolates
and
vinegar mother.

Plus: Olly plans never to get married, but maybe he’ll change his mind purely to have the themed wedding of his Jennifer Connelly-starring dreams; Helen turns her profound laziness into creative tips; and Martin the Sound Man puts the beats into his favourite Christmas carol.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, available for iThings, Android and Windows devices, Olly reveals the surprise hair inspiration of his mid-1980s barnet: Princess Diana.

Feeling festive yet? Click here to read about and then buy the Answer Me This! Christmas album; and click here to get the delightful Christmas podcasts from today’s sponsor Dobbies Garden Centres – and there’re plenty of Christmas tips and decorations to buy at dobbies.com and in store.

What have you got in store for us? Questions, we hope! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 10th December 2015 with AMT329.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT328 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%. No bawdy content, but there are a few swears, and the possible demystification of the machinations behind Christmas presents IF YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN. •••

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EPISODE 323: not all snails

September 17, 2015

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What is the greatest sorrow of being let go from a job? The loss of income? The blow to the self-esteem? The fear for the future? Or not even having tried the macho peas???

In Answer Me This! Episode 323, listeners wrestle with this problem and many more, such as:

Venetian gondolas
bendy straws
cheapskate dinner party cheats
the Queen’s Privy Council
snail-purging
Nando’s in the USA
Right Honourable Friends
coming out parties
the cola rankings
and
ironed underwear.

Plus: prepare to be FASCINATED as Olly shares his laundry workflow; Helen’s dad has failed to capitalise on Nando’s art collection; and Martin the Sound Man stops flirting and cuts to the chase – he’s starting a new podcast so prepare for launch.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iThings, Android and Windows devices – Martin recreates the Wicker Man out of straws and Helen inadvertently causes future mental scarring in her niece.

If you need ointment rubbed into your own mental scars, send us questions: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We are very grateful to Squarespace.com for supporting today’s show. Use the code ANSWER to get 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, which include a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support. That’s you covered.

We’ll return on 1st October 2015 with AMT324. Sprinkle yourself in spice mix and join us then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT323 Child-Friendly Rating: 81%. Couple of swears, no other hazards. •••

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EPISODE 318: shiny boobs

July 9, 2015

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Summon up all your capacity for doomed adolescent romance, lean over the parapet and cry, “Wherefore art thou, Answer Me This! Episode 318?” In which we discuss:

the oldest pub in Britain
Juliet’s balcony
Juliet’s boob
Cornish pasties vs calzones
Noel Edmonds on Twitter vs Noel Edmonds’s mullet on Twitter
ye vs þe
Cinderella dresses
chat show drinks
alcohol’s evolution
the Skirrid Mountain Inn
the Matrix phone
The Snip
Sally Jessy Raphael
and
King Bluetooth.

Plus: as a result of today’s questioneer, Olly has cancelled his vasectomy; Helen has no time for ‘ye olde’; and Martin the Sound Man is keeping up with the movements of Tiffany, mutually bonded forever by familiarity with Staffordshire.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices) we continue to consider Bluetooth, and wonder when our connected household appliances will start embarrassing us on social media. Oh, they already have? Shurrup, kettle, or you’re going in the bin.

Don’t put your questions in the bin; send them to us. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And join the virtual cuddle-party at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

if you want to try the early ‘experimental’ phase of AMT, our vintage episodes are available on iTunes, Amazon, and our very own corporate megagiant operation answermethisstore.com, built using today’s sponsor Squarespace.com. Try them out – there’s a free two-week trial, then you can have 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year if you use the code ‘ANSWER‘. So do!

We’ll return on 23rd July 2015 with AMT319. Keep polishing your boobs till then.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT318 Child-Friendly Rating: 55%. A few swears. At the end, there is question about vasectomies; if your child hears it, it could necessitate you having The Chat: either the ‘how babies are made’ one, or the ‘Daddy, do you actually wish you’d prevented me from being born?’ one. •••

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EPISODE 291 – like Loyd Grossman pasta sauces but for rap

June 5, 2014

Today, one poor tired questioneer asks how to stop being kept awake by their mum’s sex noise. Any advice for them? Apart from cranking up Answer Me This! Episode 291 for forty-three minutes of respite?

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We speak of:

hat world records
rodeo clowns
bank robbery
converting to Judaism
baht vs Bitcoin
Craig David’s Toffee Crisps vs Busta Rhymes’ Courvoisier
Papal holidays
presidential golf
Castel Gandolfo
Chequers
webuyanycar.com
the pronunciation of ‘niche’
shaking like a Polaroid picture
and
$.

Plus: Olly will SEE YOU IN HELL if you use Shazam during the pub quiz music round; Helen has a terrible confession to make about Pitbull; and Martin the Sound Man is panicking about what to talk about if he is ever invited on a lads’ holiday with the Pope. We smell an odd couple sitcom…

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App, we contemplate the wellbeing of the boys brought together as McBusted, and of Jason Orange’s tearducts. Hear it and not-weep on your iDevices, Android or Windows gadgets.

Bestow your questions upon us by calling the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And extend the hand of online friendship by joining us at facebook.com/answermethis and/or twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

It only remains for us to thank Squarespace.com for supporting this episode. They’re also supporting your own website-building enterprises by offering you 10% off their services for a whole year if you use the code Answer. Gawd bless’em.

And gawd bless you, listeners! We shall return on Thursday 19th June with AMT292, barring terrifying and unforseeable acts of gawd.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT291 Child-Friendly Rating: 54%. A few F-bombs. A clip about the clap. Question about parent’s sex life, the very notion of which may traumatise your child. •••

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cystitis no more!

January 23, 2014

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT281

AMT-brand advice has come in useful for once! Rosie from Kent living in Sardinia confided in AMT281 that she thought her in-laws’ wine was giving her cystitis. Relieved, she writes:

Your answer was bang on! It turns out that the culprit was not the wine but the fabric softener we were using! It ran out and the problem cleared up, where it had only improved when I stopped drinking the wine. In the interests of science I did a double blind drunk test and still no problems. Joy!

A triumph! AMT 1: UTIs nil!

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EPISODE 281 – a less creamy mouthful

January 16, 2014

Hello listeners!

The podcast is BACK for 2014. And changes are afoot; listen to Answer Me This! Episode 281 to discover what they are:

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But as normal, we talk about such things as:

ice sculptures
coach travel
cat litter
cystitis
Piccadilly Circus vs Times Square
country pubs vs London bars
In Bruges vs Helen in Bruges
the Blue Posts Crawl
stamps
floppy disks
empty London
attractiveness gaps
and
blank videotapes.

Plus: how schoolboy Olly Mann was both a ‘budget Elvis’ and like Jesus; how Helen’s jar of gallstones is keeping a low profile; and how Martin the Sound Man didn’t have an affair with a dog. (That he’ll admit to on air.)

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices, Android and Windows), Olly’s beloved cat Coco gets her Flavor Flav gear on. Of course, Olly adores her whatever she wears.

We adore your QUESTIONS, so send them in: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Thanks to Squarespace.com for funding this episode of AMT, and if you want to see an example of a Squarespace site, visit our new answermethisstore.com, where you can buy our archive episodes/albums/Best Ofs with far more of your hard-earned money going to the AMT Corporation rather than a Big Corporation.

See you in a fortnight,

Helen & Olly

AMT281 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Second half is pretty clean, but what use is that coming in the wake of a discussion of cystitis, masturbation and cervical mucus? Swearing: there is some.

PS Here’s that Facebook pic of the collection of baby teeth:

AMT baby teeth

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All aboard for our NEW ALBUM

June 19, 2013

AMT-holiday

Pack your flippers, sunblock and emergency stomach medicine, because our new album The Answer Me This! Holiday is ready to depart!

AMTStorebuy it now buttonbuy it now button

It’s 58 minutes 3 seconds of all-new material – right down to the jingles – all about holidays, vacations, minibreaks, staycations, jaunts, sojourns, escapes; whatever you like to call them. In the usual AMT style, we tackle questions about such holidayish topics as:

things to do in New York City
summer reading lists
artificial insemination for pandas
dads’ embarrassing holiday-wear
what lies behind – or, more accurately, beneath – the scenes at Disney
Legoland sculptors
why the Spanish Steps in Rome aren’t Spanish
what to expect from a Chinese breakfast
stag parties abroad
and
why the Brits are lagging behind in competitive eating contests.

Also thrown in with your all-inclusive AMT Holiday package:

A full range of holidaywear: clip-on sunglasses, short shorts, convertible trousers, Speedos, gilets, electroejaculators;
Classic tourist attractions: the Staten Island Ferry, Downton Abbey, Disney’s utilidors, Burghley House, the Winchester Mystery House, Flambards and A Day at the Wells;
Delicious holiday grub: satirical breakfasts, ‘world famous’ foods, congee, Sex on the Beach, the Heart Attack Grill, pork and its tasty friends, Economy Candy;
Delightful holiday companions: Cara Delevingne, Eugene Levy, Nancy Mitford, Adam Richman, naked mole rats, Spagna;
Fun holiday activities: the ‘bollocks’ game at festivals, drinking games, humiliating your fellow diners, being assaulted by Mexican shots girls, trying to remember your one-night-stand’s name.

The Answer Me This! Holiday is available right now for only £2.49 from iTUNES, AMAZON, or directly from us at the Answer Me This! Store

Want to try before you fly? Here’s a sample:

Big thanks to Amy Smith and Sam Pay for the jingles and Jenny Robertshaw for the cover – and speculatively to you for buying it, because your outlay helps fund Answer Me This! (and our actual holidays).

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EPISODE 250 – provincial or Provençal?

March 28, 2013

Greetings, podlings!

Spring has yet to spring in our homeland, but the spring run of AMT is ready to spring into your ears right now. Spring into action and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 250:

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Today we discuss:

pizza delivery
Billy Kennedy’s fluffy dice
lolliPopes
selling intangibles on eBay
papal pants
Les Miserables, unabridged
musicals vs. literature
second-hand gravestones vs. serial killer memorabilia
the Littlewoods catalogue
and
the Vatican’s sauna.

Plus: Olly would rather be gifted olives than a car; Helen is not comfortable being on first-name terms with South By Southwest; and Martin the Sound Man is uncharacteristically quiet, which you can attribute to the presence of a bag of Cheetos.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we speculate upon what name Kate’n’Wills are likely to bestow upon their impending royal spawn. Clue: it’ll be something more boring than any of these.

Not boring, on the other hand, are your QUESTIONS. We want lots of them for the new series, so don’t be shy: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Apropos of more things to listen to this week: click here to hear Helen on Jordan, Jesse, Go! And our free Audible audiobook offer is still open, but not for long! You have until midnight on 1st April to get yourself a free audiobook, so click here right now.

What are you still doing here? Click!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 235 – good British pizza

November 1, 2012

YES. There are still a few days left till the polls, so America, put all your support behind one AMTfan’s campaign to get Helen’s mum to be your president.

Also, everybody everywhere, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 235:

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Today we consider:

the phrase ‘When in Rome’
in-store radio stations
Jim Carrey’s canine car
auto-appendectomies
Paul the psychic octopus
Daryl Denim
supermarket censorship
James Bond’s eccentric tastes
and
money-grabbing Methodist missionaries.

Plus: Olly looks into his political crystal ball and sees Condi there; Helen broke a letter chain as a child, so little wonder she is a lonely layabout now; and Martin the Sound Man needs to delete his search history before we all find out why he knows such a lot about horse fluffers.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we examine how the scandal raging around Jimmy Savile could have devastating effects…upon the cement industry.

If you’d like to see us hold forth about podcasting in front of a very yellow Powerpoint presentation, click here to view the video of our talk at Next Radio. And/or if you would like us to return next week with more AMT, send us QUESTIONS: email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com; leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 234 – greasy drips

October 25, 2012

Hello listeners,

With just days to go until Hallowe’en, many of you have been writing to ask what costume you should opt for. Here’s our one-size-fits-all solution:

1. Wrap yourself in a duvet;
2. Go to bed until November 1st.

While you’re there, drown out the sound of trick or treaters ringing your doorbell by listening to Answer Me This! Episode 234:

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Today we consider:

Citizen Kane
the classic Charlie’s Angels remake
Green Jelly (nee Jello)
doughnuts vs. douchebags
strumpets vs. crumpets
Brian May’s badger sanctuary
William of Orange’s pet pugs
tribute bands
hipster combovers
psychoanalysis of Agatha Christie
Fratzos: matzos for frat boys
Leonardo DiCaprio lookalikes
the hard lives of fake Posh’n’Becks
Ann Widdecombe
the mystery of the Rolling Stones’ hair
and
The Mystery of Hercule Poirot’s Pants.

Plus: Olly finally finds a TV show to enjoy when he’s alone in business hotels; Helen does not think this is cute, at all; and Martin the Sound Man won’t think much of Django Reinhardt impersonators unless they burn off their fingers.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Olly digs up a big mistake Universal made, back in the day when Mickey Mouse was still just a rabbit, and Norman Bates was still just a motelier.

Make no mistake: we want your QUESTIONS so we can make more episodes of AMT. So email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and/or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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