Posts Tagged ‘jewellery’

EPISODE 344: shining the silver

November 17, 2016

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Cuddle up, listeners. Recorded on the day of the US election before the result came in, Answer Me This! Episode 344 is a relic of the pre-Trump era, in which we blithely speak of:

Savoy cabbage
Savoy Theatre
Savoy Hotel
Savoyterranean Homesick Blues
Argos’s finest tractor mower
‘Staying Alive’
Napoleon Dynamite vs Black Swan
zombie cockroaches
Concorde 2
zesty Richard Blackwood
and
where is Condoleezza Rice?

Plus: Olly will lie through his artificially whitened teeth to get on the radio; Helen was lured onto Late Night Womanʼs Hour under false pretences; and Martin the Sound Man used to love a good read of the Argos Catalogue.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, Olly describes his happy place. Yes, it is Disney-related. Get the app for your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Shop for our first 200 episodes or our albums at answermethisstore.com. Also remember to get yourself a free Audible audiobook at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@ googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 1 December with AMT345,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT344 Child-Friendly Rating: 84%. No bawd, and few – if any – swears (sorry, we weren’t really paying attention). •••

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EPISODE 327: alcopox

November 12, 2015

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Would you rather feel The Weeknd’s face or see Andy McNab’s face? Actually, you don’t have to choose; you’re probably equally capable of doing both/neither. But it’s something to think about while you listen to Answer Me This! Episode 327, in which we also deal with questions about:

party poppers
piercings vs mum’s disapproval
Sixpence None The Richer vs drug references
Olly vs his own feelings about Tom Cruise
being struck by lightning
vegetarian weddings
envious actors
humiliating ham
the moment Dr Martens ceased to be the footwear of rebels
and
Greek wine.

Plus: we learn who is Olly’s 47th favourite film star; Helen’s imaginary boyfriend didn’t even spring from her own imagination; and Martin the Teenage Physics Weirdo thinks people should express themselves through their appearance and through their weddings.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App, Olly reveals: 1. what he thinks of ‘Golden Brown’ by The Stranglers; 2. which songs make him want to piss. We know you’ve been desperate to learn these two things, so rush to the app, which is available for iThings, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks very much to today’s sponsor Squarespace.com, who’ll give you 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year (and with which you get a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support) if you stand in front of the bathroom mirror and say five times use the code ANSWER.

Send us your questions, please! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 27th November 2015 with AMT328.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT327 Child-Friendly Rating: 55%. Some swears, sex and drug references, and discussions that may encourage your offspring to modify their bodies with piercings or party poppers. •••

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decorative digits

February 25, 2014

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toe necklace

Listener Tam has written in with a home-grown alternative to accessories made from sharks’ teeth or ivory or whalebone. Take a look at the picture. Can you tell what the pale-coloured beads are made from? No? Read on to find out:

In an earlier podcast, you were discussing a mother saving her baby’s teeth and whether it was appropriate or not for her to share this with friends. Helen commented in a joking manner that, “What was the mother going to do? Make jewelry out of them?”

Of course she could. I had foot surgery several years ago for a condition called hammer toe. My toes were all bunched up and curled under my foot, making it painful at times to walk. So, to fix this issue, a surgeon cut all of the tendons under all off my toes, and then, on five toes, had to remove the middle toe knuckle; three on the left foot, two on the right. I was awake for the two surgeries and watched the entire process. It only took about a half an hour for each foot, they put me in a surgical boot and I walked right out.

However, I thought that it would be wonderful to have a unique souvenir to show for my trauma. So I kept the knuckles. Once I came home, my husband boiled them to get the meat off, and drilled them for me. My mum gave me some rather fitting beads to make a lovely necklace.

So you see, baby teeth are really no big deal. It’s all in perspective.

That’s right – in perspective of having to BOIL YOUR HUMAN FLESH off your OWN BONES. Did you get the idea from Jeffrey Dahmer’s Etsy store?

As well as the above picture of the finished necklace, Tam kindly included photos of the process prior to completion. Because I don’t want to make casual browsers puke till next Tuesday, you’ll have to click through if you wish to see Tam’s foot pre-surgery, her blood-soaked post-operative appendage, or her disembodied toe-knuckles.

Listeners, over the years you’ve treated us to pictures of your necrotic legs, infected piercings and Satanic effigies. Not wishing to seem ungrateful, but you ARE welcome to send us pictures of things that aren’t leaking pus and blood.

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signet rings

August 7, 2013

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A question of knuckle-ornamentation from Jack the Gryphon from Darlington:

Which is the correct way to wear a signet ring? Should the top of the signature be nearer to the wrist or the fingernail?

Jack, just wear it whichever way up seems easiest when you’re stamping the sealing wax on all those important covenants that cross your desk.

Unless…you’re wearing it purely for style rather than comms? In which case – readers, kindly go to the comments and advise Jack. I feel queasy if I think about signet rings too long; they remind me of my creepy euphonium teacher from when I was 11, as well as their celebrity spokesmodel Jimmy Savile.

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EPISODE 240 – shampea

December 6, 2012

Brace yourselves, listeners: in Answer Me This! Episode 240, those two titans of the Northern Hemisphere, Russia and Canada, face off for the bout you’ve all been waiting for. KABOOM!!!!

Sort of.

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This week we speak of:

Andy Warhol’s wig
podcatchers
Russell Brand’s dad
penis pasta
Guinness World Record adjudicators
mean mean mother-in-law
pleasing your partner’s parents
the death of Borders
holidays with Paul Daniels
and
poutine vs. Putin.

Plus: you may be surprised to hear that Olly is a one-doughnut Mann; Helen’s ex-boyfriend moved the earth for her, literally; and Martin the Sound Man unleashes his inner Sarah Palin. Watch out, world.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Sam about Gems TV, that 24/7 diamond of entertainment.

Next week is the first half of the Best of Answer Me This! 2012, but for your chance to appear in the Best of Answer Me This! 2013, send us QUESTIONS for the new year. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

Also please do try out our other weekly podcasting exploit The Joy of Tech from BBC 5 Live, in which we talk about the week’s internet events alongside experts in tech, cars, gaming and other highlights of modern existence.

Laters!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 228 – how many nutcrackers does one man need?

August 16, 2012

The time has come, dear listeners, for us to pack up our microphones for a month and head off on holiday. But before we go, we tackle some very important questions indeed:

• Should one allow one’s allergies interrupt the loss of one’s virginity?
• What counts as a museum, once and for all?
• What IS R Kelly on about?

Discover those answers and more in Answer Me This! Episode 228:

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We also consider:

Wenlock and Mandeville
chocolate hotels
fake Rolexes
Ralph Lauren’s giant horse
badges vs. pins
dead Elvis vs. dead Lenin
Bryan Adams vs. Bryan Adams
the Pencil Museum vs. the Yo-yo Museum vs. the Nutcracker Museum
Mr T jigsaws
necrophilia in Snow White
Jason Biggs, his wife, and their craven need for attention
Père Lachaise cemetery
Olympic memorabilia
bizarre B&Bs
and
sexy Jenga.

Plus: Olly explains a ‘reverse American Pie‘, and no, you won’t find it in More! Magazine’s ‘Position of the Fortnight’ archives; Helen’s toilet is like Kanye West, and not because he has a pottymouth; and Martin the Sound Man had just about recovered from the disappointment that was Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when Prometheus came along and crushed his expectations all over again.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Jennifer from Pittsburgh about whether being struck by lightning affects your ability to use technology; assuming the after-effects of that old lightning strike allow it, use your iDevices and Android to peruse the app.

Until we return on Thursday 20th September, here are some means of busying yourself:

1. Listen to us on BBC 5 Live, 1-4pm on Monday 27th August, talking about all sorts of fun and diverse listening materials in our special bank holiday show Required Listening.
2. Tune in to Olly on LBC, 20th-24th August between 1-4am. That’s right, am. Unless you live in a different time zone and it’s a perfectly civilised hour there.
3. Vote for Helen to go to SXSW next year, on a podcasting panel with Jesse Thorn and Roman Mars.
4. Listen to Martin’s music. It is much less obscene than him talking.
5. Have a go on our albums, our first 120 episodes, and some other nice podcasts.
6. Concoct QUESTIONS for our next series: leave voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Have a delightful month, and we look forward to reuniting on 20th September.

Helen & Olly

PS Sadly, the Cars of the Stars museum in Keswick closed down last year. But it still lives forever here:

Manage your Olympics withdrawal with AMT Sports Day

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EPISODE 168 – Poisoning Made Easy

February 24, 2011

Dear listeners,

This week, we learn how to arm yourself in the event of the outbreak of cyber-warfare. Start digging a hole in your virtual back garden for your Javascript Anderson shelter; lay down supplies of canned goods, water, batteries, masking tape and binbags (because even in an emergency you need to be able to cobble together a rudimentary fancy-dress costume), and load up your rifle with Answer Me This! Episode 168:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Conversational shrapnel includes:

Steamboat Willie
True Grit
Alan Turing
Nicole Kidman
News in Briefs
topless Kelvin MacKenzie
Sharon Stone’s dress-down Oscar-day
puntits
Victorinox
the Colosseum vs the O2 Arena
perfectly controllable semis
John Virgo
Marchesa
and
swim-gimps.

Plus: Olly’s not going to fall for your elaborate apple-tasting double-bluff, wiseguy; Helen will take out your unwanted small pets, no questions asked; and Martin the Sound Man swims like a middle-aged woman. This is almost as good a show as the Geekpop show he’s playing on 10th March, for which you can and should get tickets via geekpop.co.uk. There’ll be a taster of his new album, Songs from the Scientific Cabaret, at the end of the show next week, so let that be the bright point of light at the end of the tunnel that is the next seven days.

You can also enliven the next seven days by sending us QUESTIONS, which you can then pose to us in a voicemail to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And if you still find yourself with time to spare, you could squander a few more seconds on this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android), which contains further musing upon what the whole deal is with Snow White. What’s with them apples? Eh?

See you next week,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 166 – a dwarf standing on the shoulders of 100 stacked dwarves

February 10, 2011

Dear podcast-listeners,

There have been three times in his life where Olly Mann couldn’t speak French, so he let the funky music do the talking: 1) his GCSE French oral exam, which is why he received a D grade; 2) one mad, hot night at the Bruni-Sarkozy holiday bungalow; and 3) in Answer Me This! Episode 166:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

En Anglais, we talk of:

Blu-Tack sunblock
J.Lo’s nipple tweaker
the tragic end of Bobby in Home and Away
Bernard of Chartres
John Scurlock
Pyramus and Thisbe
Oasis
the Tower of London
James Bond: babyfather
the oldest underwater foot-tunnel (with some qualification)
disgruntled Beefeaters
Pretty Woman, Kate Middleton-style
bouncy bungalows
bouncy Roulette
Mike Flowers Pops
the Sea Life Centre vs. the Chunnel
sexy salad servers
Coventry
and
Teri Hatcher.

Plus: mainstream Olly prefers vaginas when a baby isn’t being shunted out of them; Helen discovers her new favourite TV channel; and Martin the Sound Man claims that when his dad said he was just “off to the glory hole”, there was a perfectly innocent explanation. Keep drinking the kool-aid, Martin!

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android, yessir) is a question from Gareth about what’s the oldest thing still in use today. My dad’s underpants. HA. (Seriously: 40+ years’ service and still going strong.)

Please keep bombarding us with your QUESTIONS, by leaving us a voicemail on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or sending us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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