Posts Tagged ‘Jonathan Creek’

EPISODE 269 – gay rabbis in spandex

August 29, 2013

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Hello listeners,

Trolls have been in the news a lot lately – the online tormentor kind, but not the toys that used to be so popular. Why is that? Did people finally take a clear-eyed look at those dinky little plastic haemorrhoids and realise that they disobeyed William Morris’s dictum regarding beauty/usefulness? Has there been a worldwide shortage of neon hair?

No. Find out the true reason for trolls’ recent retirement from the limelight in Answer Me This! Episode 269:

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In which we also learn about:

wicker furniture
family holidays
murder houses
Ray Winstone vs. June Whitfield
indoor-outdoor space
the Lindbergh baby
the seven generic top-level domains
pianists’ page-turners
Thomas Dam
and
Yoshi.

Plus: Olly gets to talk about cats, and their glands, and their necks, and their cheeks, and their adorable bums; if Helen were the subject of a Thomas Harris novel, it’d be The Silence of the Chairs; and Martin the Sound Man is indignant at the idea of a male dinosaur laying an egg through his urethra.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App features a humdinger of a tale: Olly has alphabeticised his spice rack. For reals! Hear all about it, and how Helen has organised her spice rack, on your iDevice or Android.

Also, if you want to have a holiday that is more enjoyable than questioneer Pat from Canada’s, try the AMT Holiday album – no family rows or screaming kids, just one hour of us jabbering on into your ear. What could be more paradisial and relaxing than that?

Don’t be so relaxed that you forget to send us your QUESTIONS, though. Leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

AMT269 Child-Friendly Rating: 78%. Some swearing, one attributable to Olly channelling Ray Winstone. References to feline sexual delight. Detraction of possibly beloved-by-children Troll dolls.

PS Oh, HERE’s where all the Trolls disappeared to. (Aside from all the ones that have been hiding out here.)

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EPISODE 251 – you never see All Saints putting up a wall, ever

April 4, 2013

Good day, listeners,

Does a place make a man, or in this case a Mann? If today’s questioneer decides to move his young family to Stanmore, will he find himself raising his own curly-haired cat-obsessed musicals lover? Or will he just benefit from convenient Jubilee Line access and a nice Lebanese restaurant? We consider the benefits of the burb that birthed Olly in Answer Me This! Episode 251:

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Today we ponder upon:

morning sickness
Pimms
poisonous plaster
flirting
the Wiki Wiki Shuttle
wiki wiki Ward Cunningham
phone sex vs. sex
carpenter-style jeans
Nupedia
Laurence Olivier
Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen
human chorionic gonadotropin
the only non-singing, non-dancing part in West Side Story
and
the sanitary iPad.

Plus: Olly needs to learn to speak Bloke; morning sickness won’t put Helen off having a baby, but everything else will; and Martin the Sound Man is a big hairy flowerpot, and no returns.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) we continue our discussion about equine actors; it moves on to child actors, then somehow to Olly having sex with a Battenburg cake. Which is the inevitable end of any discussion if you continue it long enough.

Next week will be a Special Guest Episode, and if you haven’t listened to the episode yet to find out who it will be, here’s your SPECIAL GUEST SPOILER:

Isy Suttie!

That’s right, Dobby from Peep Show/Esther from Shameless/Isy Suttie from Isy Suttie’s comedy shows will be joining us to answer your QUESTIONS. So send them to us: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 170 – Operation Viking Snatch

March 10, 2011

Hello chums,

Round here, we thought there’s no way the opening ceremony of next year’s London Olympics could be anything but a damp squib. Given our Glorious Nation’s inherent shyness, we assumed we’d be lucky if the expected pageantry ascended such heights as the whole squad doing the David Brent dance, with commentary from Myleene Klass wearing a low-cut dress and speaking only in adjectives. But au contraire, we were much mistaken! Here, in Answer Me This! Episode 170, we discover what’s going to make the Olympics go with a bang:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Accompanying the episode, like a flock of primary schoolkids wearing national dress, are topics including:

Booze Britain
Ibiza Uncovered
Winston Churchill
coffee stirrers
Jaws
dog trends
Wiesbaden
Danger UXB
monkeys in clothes
fancy-dress football
the abandoned bomb register
Jonathan Creek’s downtime
illegal snoods
the other Martin Austwick
the real-life Miss Marple
dihydroxyacetone
and
the Maillard Reaction.

Plus: Olly is silenced by booze; Helen’s not going to be winning a car anytime soon; and Martin the Sound Man intimates that the dinosaurs might have survived, if only someone had bought them little pink coats with diamante on. Martin would also like you to know that his latest album is out today, which is sadly diamante-free but not without other compensations – download or buy a special edition physical copy here.

Today’s Bit of Crap on the App is the Deleted Scenes from our chat about amateur detectives. How does one get from the FBI to Paul Ross in five easy steps? Find out for yourself on iPhone or Android.

We be wanting your QUESTIONS for next week, so send them as voicemails to the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or findanswermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And you know what else is next week? Red Nose Day! So if you fancy a bit of pain-free fundraising (ie no climbing mountains or digging latrines or songs involving Bob Geldof), please come along to Literary Death Match on Friday 18th March, in which Helen joins Spaced alumna Jessica StevensonHynes to judge the bookish equivalent of sumo wrestling.

Helen & Olly

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