Posts Tagged ‘Lake District’

EPISODE 228 – how many nutcrackers does one man need?

August 16, 2012

The time has come, dear listeners, for us to pack up our microphones for a month and head off on holiday. But before we go, we tackle some very important questions indeed:

• Should one allow one’s allergies interrupt the loss of one’s virginity?
• What counts as a museum, once and for all?
• What IS R Kelly on about?

Discover those answers and more in Answer Me This! Episode 228:

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We also consider:

Wenlock and Mandeville
chocolate hotels
fake Rolexes
Ralph Lauren’s giant horse
badges vs. pins
dead Elvis vs. dead Lenin
Bryan Adams vs. Bryan Adams
the Pencil Museum vs. the Yo-yo Museum vs. the Nutcracker Museum
Mr T jigsaws
necrophilia in Snow White
Jason Biggs, his wife, and their craven need for attention
Père Lachaise cemetery
Olympic memorabilia
bizarre B&Bs
and
sexy Jenga.

Plus: Olly explains a ‘reverse American Pie‘, and no, you won’t find it in More! Magazine’s ‘Position of the Fortnight’ archives; Helen’s toilet is like Kanye West, and not because he has a pottymouth; and Martin the Sound Man had just about recovered from the disappointment that was Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when Prometheus came along and crushed his expectations all over again.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Jennifer from Pittsburgh about whether being struck by lightning affects your ability to use technology; assuming the after-effects of that old lightning strike allow it, use your iDevices and Android to peruse the app.

Until we return on Thursday 20th September, here are some means of busying yourself:

1. Listen to us on BBC 5 Live, 1-4pm on Monday 27th August, talking about all sorts of fun and diverse listening materials in our special bank holiday show Required Listening.
2. Tune in to Olly on LBC, 20th-24th August between 1-4am. That’s right, am. Unless you live in a different time zone and it’s a perfectly civilised hour there.
3. Vote for Helen to go to SXSW next year, on a podcasting panel with Jesse Thorn and Roman Mars.
4. Listen to Martin’s music. It is much less obscene than him talking.
5. Have a go on our albums, our first 120 episodes, and some other nice podcasts.
6. Concoct QUESTIONS for our next series: leave voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Have a delightful month, and we look forward to reuniting on 20th September.

Helen & Olly

PS Sadly, the Cars of the Stars museum in Keswick closed down last year. But it still lives forever here:

Manage your Olympics withdrawal with AMT Sports Day

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Great British Questions Episode 4: Tea

August 10, 2010

Put your slippers on, sit in your comfiest chair and make a nice brew, because it’s time for Episode Four of Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions:

Where’s the best cup of tea in Britain?

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In which you will find us visiting:
Brighton seafront, where the rain poured, and so did the tea.
Twinings on the Strand in London, a veritable embassy of tea.
Braunston in Rutland, England’s smallest county. A big paper plate of cakes and two cups of tea for £1.50? That, friends, is why Britain is still great.
Emma Bridgewater, Stoke-on-Trent, where we were instructed that tea can get you laid. If only it were that simple.
Tregothnan tea plantation, Cornwall, where they are considering building a tea theme park. Please, Tregothnan. MAKE THIS HAPPEN.
• Grasmere in the Lake District, home of Sarah Nelson’s Gingerbread, a legendary snack with a secret recipe. I guess Sarah Nelson is the English equivalent of Colonel Sanders.
The Balmoral hotel, Edinburgh. Apparently having tea here features in one of those ‘1000 things to do before you die’ lists, so we’re now one step closer to the End.

Let’s raise a cup of char to the people who helped us along the way:

Stephen Twining and Matthew Rice – we’d like to see them face off against other in a duel to determine who is the quintessential English gent;
Marion, who showed us around the Emma Bridgewater factory and taught us the full birthing cycle of their beautiful ceramics – almost as demanding as the human one;
Neil Bennett, head gardener at the Tregothnan estate, who had a heavy cold and should probably have been safely tucked up indoors rather than traipsing around the huge estate with us;
Joanne Wilson from Sarah Nelson’s Gingerbread, a woman who can wrap a stack of gingerbread in paper at the speed of light. You might not think this exciting, but, like the teapot-knobbing, when you see it live you could watch it for hours;
Harry Fernandes at the Balmoral hotel, for letting us have a big fancy tea, climb up onto the roof, and pretending that we weren’t just a pair of overgrown five-year-olds;
and an extra portion of Jammy Dodgers goes to Tess Longfield and Rachel Aked of VisitBritain.

Please return next Tuesday for the final installment of Great British Questions, which is all about Great British Bathrooms; and below are some photos from our tea tour.

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Great British Questions Episode 3: Romance

August 3, 2010

After the showbiz glitz of last week’s episode, this week’s installment of Helen and Olly’s Great British Questions has a more intimate agenda:

How do you woo a Brit?

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In order of appearance, here’s where we go during our Great British love-in (in which we play a couple FOR DEMONSTRATION PURPOSES ONLY):

the Cerne Abbas giant, Dorset – the earliest known NSFW field in Britain!
Brighton, to hang out with drunkards. It’s a pretty sexy place – after all, George IV built his amazing personal shag-palace there.
The Assembly Rooms in Stamford, Lincolnshire. Didn’t score ourselves any husbands, though; the only man there was the old chap superintending the Saturday afternoon book sale.
• The Heartwood School of Woodcarving in Port Talbot, Wales. If you want to carve your own spoon of love, or get someone else to do it for you, you can email spoon-carver extraordinaire Sharon Littley HERE, or find out more about the traditional Welsh lovespoons in her book.
Boat trip up the River Thames, a very pleasant way to travel through central London if you’re not in a hurry.
• Picnic at Penrith Castle, Cumbria – an unlikely thing to find in the middle of an ordinary-looking housing estate!
The Cumberland Pencil Museum in Keswick, Cumbria. Don’t go there if your pencil collection has an inferiority complex already.
The Museum of Surgery in Edinburgh, after which you’ll see we didn’t walk up Arthur’s Seat.
• Punting in Oxford, thanks to the Magdalen Bridge Boathouse – who also very kindly lent us hats with which to accessorise this beautiful scene.
• Grasmere in the Lake District. William Wordsworth’s signature restaurant can be found here. Apparently they only serve daffodils.
The Jane Austen Centre in Bath, where they hold the annual Mr Darcy Wet Shirt Contest. Ok, well we maintain that they should.
Chesil Beach, Dorset out of On Chesil Beach by Ian McEwan. We hope this scene doesn’t give you nightmares.
The Eden Project, Cornwall, inspiration for Nelly’s hit ‘Hot in Herre’.
The London-Edinburgh sleeper train, which is a bit like North By Northwest only with a complimentary sponge-bag rather than Eva Marie Saint.
• Glastonbury, Somerset, where we met the marvellous Jacqui Winn of the Witchcraft Emporium, approximately a cross between a herbalist’s and a branch of Ann Summers. If you’re keen to follow Jacqui’s advice, damiana is the herb you’re after, although we have yet to try it so can’t vouch for its effectiveness. Still, it’s a lot cheaper than fake Viagra off the internet!
And finally, we wind up in the Westmoreland Hotel, Cumbria, which is the first motorway services hotel we’ve ever been to where you could even contemplate having a romantic night.

We also need to bestow affection upon:
Chay Allen for propelling our punt, because we sure as hell couldn’t have done it ourselves without injury;
Jill Collinge, for showing us Stamford then standing politely by as Helen did stupid impressions of Beyonce;
and the loves of our lives, Tess Longfield and Rachel Aked of VisitBritain
. If you love the UK as much as VisitBritain do, join the online love-in at their Facebook page at facebook.com/LoveUK.

Please return next Tuesday for Great British Questions Episode Four: Tea; and for more scenes from our romantic mini-break, peruse the photos below.

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EPISODE 143 – four Michael Keatons

July 29, 2010

Hello listeners,

Thanks for sticking with us, considering that, as one of you has pointed out, Vanity Fair is encroaching on our turf. As is National Rail Enquiries! You can ask their question-bot anything, but she is far too judgemental in her responses. So we’re continuing regular service for now (unlike the East Coast Main Line, ber-boom), with Answer Me This! Episode 143:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Today we speak of:

casual voyeurism
John Mayer vs. Stevie Ray Vaughan
AMT party vs. Elton John
spermaceti
moisturisers for men
English Heritage
John P. Charlton
Mr T in pieces
aloe vera
saucy postcards
Camille Pissarro
whaling
fake blue plaques
Boris Karloff’s bedroom
and
Buddhists’ favourite film (NB it’s not Multiplicity).

Plus: Olly reluctantly glows; Helen’s bitesize history revision is for far too big a mouth; and Harry Potter almost prevented Martin the Sound Man from achieving his doctorate. You think Voldemort’s a bastard? You do not want to get in the way of Martin with four years’ hard quantum physics in his hands. Thwarted on the very brink of escape, the man’s wrath could melt trees.

We also reminisce about the public humiliation which attended almost every step of Great British Questions Episode Two: Film, which you can see HERE. Meanwhile, over on the app, this week’s bonus noise concerns how we’d use our spare time if trapped in a Groundhog Day-style situation (clue: heroin, and serial killing).

Videos and apps notwithstanding, we still want your QUESTIONS. So please sate us with a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday for Episode 144, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Three of Great British Questions, in which we get all romantical. It’s ACTING, alright? Bleugh! The very idea.

Love, but only in a formal and platonic way,

Helen and Olly

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