Posts Tagged ‘law’

EPISODE 349: cheddaring

April 6, 2017

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If you win a year’s supply of Weetabix, how much Weetabix do you actually get? And where will you keep it?

(And why would you want it?)

In Answer Me This! Episode 349, we speculate about that as well as:

deconstructed coffee
citizen’s arrest
The Shipping Forecast
catching Tony Blair red-handed
photos of babies vs portraits of babies
tree changes vs sea changes vs ski changes vs gear changes
the Bank of England
Wookey Hole
Eastcheap Monument
North Greenwich for the Millennium Dome O2 Arena
cheddar cheese vs Cheddar cheese
Olly’s bourgeois nightmare
the Richard Madeley Prevention Device
axolotl-sitting
and
a year’s supply of Weetabix.

If a year’s supply of Weetabix delivered to you is not a convenient enough way to consume Weetabix, glug down a bottle of the LIQUID FORM OF WEETABIX. We try to stomach the idea of this breakfast of lazy champions in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Don’t forget: to receive one retro episode every month in your feed, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice! Or if you want more of them at the time of your choosing, they’re all available at answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums.

Oh, and have a free audiobook for your trouble at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

Behold our other audio projects: Olly hosts The Week Unwrapped and has returned with a new season of The Modern Mann; Helen’s Allusionist has more eponyms for your consumption; and Martin’s Song By Song.

If you’re the fledgling superhero Frying-Pan-Man looking to increase your web presence, build your site using our friendly neighbourhood sponsors Squarespace.com. Get 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT350 on 4 May 2017, and with a Retro AMT on 20 April.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT349 Child-Friendly Rating: 58%. No grot, but several swears littered throughout. •••

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EPISODE 346: ten years. TEN YEARS. Ten. Years. Tenyears! #tenyears

January 5, 2017

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Ten years. Ten years! TEN. YEARS. Ten years we’ve been doing this show. TEN.

In that time, technologies have waxed and waned; world leaders have come and gone; yet here we still are, answering the questions that you supply, just as we did in episode 1 all the way back in January 2007, and in every episode in between.

To celebrate the show’s birthday, in Answer Me This! Episode 346 we provide a thrilling glimpse into the AMT Process, receive a gift from a musical hero, and tackle a question on Olly’s favourite third favourite subject. We also discuss:

Mickey Mouse
sentimental dehydrators
rubber fetishes
grown-up purchases
Helen’s lost engagement ring vs Helen’s lost copy of Heathers
Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans vs Campbell’s actual soup cans
graphic design vs fine art vs graphic design
file-in-cake-based prison breaks
British bears
British beavers
and
why you should never lend things to friends if you ever want to get those things back.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we consider another problem for a Mickey Mouse reboot: the voice. Disney, if you’re listening, we have a suggestion for who should play Mickey. Go on, give it a go…

You should give our album AMT Love a go, if you want to hear an hour of us talking about sex and relationships. It’s available from the AMT store – you can also get it from iTunes and Amazon, if you prefer – along with our other albums and our classic episodes. We can’t pretend that listening back to the first episode today didn’t make us wince, but for just 79.9p it’s a good price for a wince.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Bigger thanks to YOU for listening and sending in questions and supplying kind messages and buying our stuff and generally supporting us during the past decade.

As always, we need you to send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

Now we’re off to celebrate with a nugget of dehydrated birthday cake. Yes, THAT’s who ended up with Ben’s dehydrator! Mwahahahaaaaa.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT346 Child-Friendly Rating: 24%. Several swears, and a question about rubber kinks and sex dungeons. •••

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EPISODE 333: bring your own beef

June 16, 2016

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How do you pronounce ‘patent’? ‘Pay-tent’? ‘Pattent’?

That’s not one of the questions we are asked in Answer Me This! Episode 333, just a matter we wrestle with. As well as:

key party logistics
kestrel welfare
Antiques Road Trip
vibrator disposal
Freedom by Jonathan Franzen
The Angel of the North
The Chronicles of Pornia
the Mary Poppins sequel
and
The Morley Nelson Snake River Birds of Prey National Conservation Area.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available for iThings, Android and Windows devices), we workshop the Netflix revival of Frasier that is bound to come along at some point, given that everything old is becoming new again. So look out for Niles Goes Miles in a year or two.

Give yourself an audio gift: have a hot ear-date with the AMT Love album; cuddle up with a free audiobook from Audible – get yours at answermethispodcast.com/audible; or throw an audiorgy by buying AMT1-200 from answermethisdoorstore.com.

Also: click here for tickets for Allusionist Live; click here to hear the season finale of Modern Mann; click here to celebrate Martin the Sound Man’s podcast centenary.

Our final demand: send us your questions! Call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 30 June with AMT334,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT333 Child-Friendly Rating: 25%. Several swears. Questions about vibrators and key parties, and suggestions that the Queen has shagged all the way round Buckingham Palace. •••

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AMT300!!!!!!!!!1!!

October 16, 2014

AMT300

THE DAY HAS ARRIVED! Answer Me This! Episode 300 is here, in all its tricentennial glory!

You’ve deluged us with questions about AMT300, for example:
“Will it be your last episode?”
“Is it going to feature Gerard Butler and be directed by Zack Snyder?”
“Did you guys ever…you know…?”
“Is it possible to polish a turd?”
“Yeah but seriously guys, is it going to be your last episode?”

Discover all these answers, and many more surprises, by listening to the episode right now via one or all of the following methods:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Don’t read below this point if you don’t want spoilers! Listen to the episode first, then come back here and revise its contents.

Alright??

On the slate for AMT300 are such topics as:

our alternate realities if AMT had never existed
evidence of our life of crime
long-term relationships
bumhole problems
mashed potato vs nutmeg
Peter Jackson vs Raymond Carver
bases
nasal honking
hiding your rubber fetish gear
and
garnish.

And the wonderful special guest answerers bending their wisdom to your questions are:

Adam Buxton, the man who made us want to do this podcast. He doles out excellent advice on giving your children The Talk, ridding your kitchen of mouse turds, and changing your whole life to avoid minor annoyances. Enjoy more of Adam’s work on YouTube, on Twitter, and at live shows including BUG.

Sarah Millican, who even manages to make questions about anal fissures sound charming and wholesome. It’s a gift! Her new DVD Home Bird is available for pre-order; she’s writing for the new online magazine Standard Issue, and she dispenses Sarahmillicandour at twitter.com/SarahMillican75.

Jesse and Theresa Thorn, the first couple of podcasting, the power behind the Maximum Fun throne (at MaxFun, they record everything sitting on thrones). Tackling questions upon Americana and parental embarrassment, it’s a rare treat to hear them on a podcast together – but it’s a regular treat to hear them on their own podcasts, which include One Bad Mother, Bullseye, Jordan, Jesse, Go!, Judge John Hodgman… Yeah, it took us nearly eight years to churn out 300 podcasts; they probably do more than that a month. And just in case you needed even more podcast-related excitement on top of this, it’s MaxFunWeek right now, so you can have maximum fun with other podcast aficionados around the world.

Josie Long, who delighted you in AMT84 and returns to do the same, on such matters as losing your virginity, beating procrastination and Lord of the Rings – the latter with the help of her boyfriend Simon of the Picturehouse Podcast. We hope this important matter doesn’t come between them… As well as seeing Josie on stage, you can hear her on her Lost Treasures of the Black Heart podcast, and the new series of Radio 4’s Short Cuts.

Tony Blackburn. TONY. BLACKBURN! Answering YOUR questions and sounding off about wandering eyes, Hobbits and nutmeg! He was the first voice on Radio 1 in 1967, and he currently has shows on Radio 2, BBC Berkshire, BBC London, BBC Three Counties, KMFM, Magic…phew! Switch on a radio, and Blackburn will probably be talking on it. You can also read him at twitter.com/tonyblackburn.

AMT sibling Andy Zaltzman and his Bugle cohort John Oliver, offering advice on christenings, garlic and hanging onto a long term relationship. You can see Andy on tour with his show Satirist for Hire, and you can see John presenting Last Week Tonight on HBO and/or approximately fifteen times a day in your Facebook feed.

Today’s new email jingle is by the Hackney Colliery Band – because there are few things more stirring than a brass band. To see them live and listen to their records, including their new EP Common Decency, visit hackneycollieryband.co.uk.

Our special guest answerers supplied such a lot of marvellous material, there’s a bumper tricentennial Bit of Crap on the App today – extra questions about tattoos, pineapples, balloon animals, taramasalata, adventures, wedgies, and there’s even a cameo from AMT190 superstar Jon Ronson. The app is available for your iDevices, Android or Windows playthings, but since it’s an ‘appy day, you appless can also stream or download it via SoundCloud. Or just play it here:

We could not have done these 300 episodes without you, listeners: without your attention; without your support, financial and emotional; and particularly without your questions. Please keep sending those in: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And do celebrate with us at facebook.com/answermethis or twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks so much for joining us today! We’ll be back with business-as-usual non-landmark AMT301 on 30th October 2014.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT300 Child-Friendly Rating: 1%. No way. •••

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brownie law

May 19, 2014

CLICK HERE TO CATCH UP ON AMT289

The last time I had to think of brownie law, I was aged seven and being sworn into my school troop. But following AMT289, Conal has supplied an update:

I’m afraid that your listener who considered taking an unopened brownie from Pret would have committed theft by finding if they had taken it.

However, they may have had an excuse to avoid getting arrested (not in the real world would they ever be arrested!) if they had made reasonable steps to return the Brownie to the rightful owner.

British law uses the word “reasonable” quite a lot, so you’d just have to show that you looked around a bit and maybe asked staff if they had seen the person leave.

Well, Tori has been back in touch to tell us what did happen:

I DID take the brownie.

I waited a full 15 minutes before moving the tray it was on onto my table, putting my my rubbish on the tray, then sneakily used the brownie to mark a page in my book, then slipped the book into my bag after a minute.

I hate to see food wasted – it definitely would have gone in the bin since it was under loads of other wrappers. Pret brownies are too good to waste.

It may not be the sort of ‘reasonable’ that stands up in court, but it does seem reasonable. Is Paul from Wimbledon similarly reasonable, though? He writes:

I was in a London wine bar with a friend, enjoying some wine. A couple at the next table were doing the same but also had a platter of cheese. They left, and about 45 minutes later we noticed that they had left most of their tasty cheese platter. We decided this was fair game and tucked in, polishing the whole lot off. They’d also left half a bottle of wine so we snaffled that as well.

You’ll never guess who then came back? That’s right – the rightful owners of the cheese and wine. My friend grasped the initiative and decided we should leave (after all, we didn’t have any wine or cheese left – which was ours). I quickly paid the bill and we legged it.

Do you think what we did was ok? Surely after 45 minutes you forfeit the right to said cheese and wine?

It certainly seems optimistic to think that you can ditch it for that amount of time, because surely a member of staff would clear it away and give the table to someone else. In fact, if you’re in an establishment where they leave the tables festering for so long, do you really want to eat the cheese? OK, further question: if you eat someone else’s abandoned food and then suffer from food-poisoning, can you complain to the premises where you ‘reasonably’ stole it? Wannabe freegans, you need to brush up on the law before you get started.

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EPISODE 249 – a long line of sadists

March 7, 2013

Hello listeners, and goodbye as we will be off for the next two Thursdays. That’s just enough time for you to listen to a free audiobook, enjoy Martin the Sound Man’s album, subscribe to the other weekly podcast featuring us Let’s Talk About Tech, peruse our back catalogue, and mow the lawn.

And, do not forget, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 249 as well:

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Today we discuss:

tweed
Michael Jackson’s umbrella
chopsticks
Gaelic warlords
pipe-smoking
tax trends
The Fugitive vs. fairytales
Harold Wilson vs. Gandalf
lockers
the goddess Ériu
Toronto, Kansas
chopsticks
and
Rabbi Shmuley Boteach.

Plus: teenage Olly was the lovelorn Bard of txtspk; Helen is going to spend the AMTbreak in Scotland investigating The Mystery of the Missing Sweet and Sour Pork Balls; and Martin the Sound Man won’t sacrifice choice for convenience when it comes to the specific heat capaity of his toast toppings.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android), we delve further into Chris from Lewes’s question about combining butter with other spreadable substances. Perhaps he’s just ahead of his time! Or perhaps he really is just unbelievably lazy.

You, however, ought not be so lazy that you fail to send us your QUESTIONS for the next series. Leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Give us something great with which to celebrate AMT250, because we can’t afford a marching band.

Until 28th March, farewell!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 244 – waterboarded by Usher

January 31, 2013

Hey, you! Yes, you – the man with the insecurity about your penis size! How would you like a new app that tells you how yours is the smallest wang in the world, and your ideal condom size is ‘Mouse Tail’? Well, colour yourself lucky – because today we tell you how to slim down your self-esteem by up to 100% in Answer Me This! Episode 244:

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We also speak of:

carb crimes in Costco
gherkins
gurkhas
Bieber vs. Prince
Simon vs. Garfunkel
homemade peanut butter
dating disappointments
life disappointments
judgy mums
gushers
immigration officials
the green ink brigade
and
two thousand and late.

Plus: Olly wants to reclaim the red pen from censorious teachers and proofreaders; Helen makes good bread with her rough unfeminine hands; and Martin the Sound Man is all about the bell curve, laydeez.

Furthermore, if you’ve ever longed to hear Olly and Martin percussing their way through ‘The Boxer’ and ‘Born To Run’, you’re quids in! That is, you’re willing to expend two quids to get the AMTapp and thus this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android).

Finally! Please send us your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

PS For revision purposes, here’s that Bieber-wets-himself video for ‘Beauty and the Beat’:

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EPISODE 230 – like a Muppet Babies version of the Rolling Stones

September 27, 2012

Hello listeners,

It’s odd that in his ode ‘To Autumn‘, Keats never mentioned amongst the swelling gourds and clammy cells that it is also the time of year where the images of schoolchildren are harvested for posterity in the annual school photos. See above, then while your eyes recover, hear Answer Me This! Episode 230:

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In which we speak of:

sharing a bedroom
Dorian Gray
Liz Jones
the Meg Ryan Game
glamping
Olly’s friend Chay in a Britney video
sleeping arrangements
dehumidifiers
the Titanic Memorial Cruise
grey water vs. black water
big baggy clothes vs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Aaron Paul vs. Aaron Paul
court artists
Ocean Colour Scene
and
relationship advice via Neil LaBute.

Plus: Olly has had enough of these mother-fighting snakesDaily Mails on this monkey-liking plane; Helen’s Kentish childhood was nothing like the latest Wand Erection video (see below); and Martin the Sound Man did not do a William Hague, honest.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (get it for iDevices and Android) involves further discussion of cruises, namely why haven’t hipsters taken them up yet. Surely it’s only a matter of time, though – after all, nobody ever thought bowler hats or the A10 would ever make a comeback, and look at them both now.

As we said in the show, do share your most memorable birthday in the comments; and as always, share your QUESTIONS by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also go here if you want your own Answer Me This! mug. It’s so big, you could probably go for a week-long cruise in it.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 218 – shipshape and Bristol fashion

June 7, 2012

Hi listeners,

There are a lot of really weird stories in the news at the moment – cannibals, dismembered bodies, Octomom doing a porno – but fortunately this week, AMT218 is a largely horror-free zone:

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Today we talk of:

marriage licences
the Pitcher and Piano
expensive clothes
actors’ motivation
Fifty Shades of Grey vs. The White Hotel vs. Wuthering Heights
Mario vs. Lazarus
moist Jo Whiley
Tinky Winky, live in Luxembourg
outlet stores
death by giant snail
and
#.

Plus: Olly doesn’t want to get married in Vegas; Helen doesn’t want to have to watch embarrassing bodies on Embarrassing Bodies; but Martin the Sound Man DOES want you to enter his science songwriting competition, so click here to find out how to enter before you dash off to your zither-room to compose.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) involves Claudia from Melbourne asking whether you can text the police rather than calling them. With all the cuts to public services, unfortunately the police have had to lay off their full-time team of interpreters waiting to figure out what you mean by HLP pls sum1 tryn2 mrdr me non-LOL srsly >:-O

If you still have proper command over vowels, send us a QUESTION for next week: deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and/or leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

Also, if you’re especially interested in what goes on around here, you can hear us being interviewed on the latest episode of Podcast Squared. We hope that the demystification of our Process doesn’t spoil AMT for you. If not, we’ll see you back here next Thursday.

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 215 – the Richard Gere problem

May 17, 2012

Hello!

We’re really, really sorry, but after listening to Answer Me This! Episode 215, there’s a strong chance you will have an LMFAO song stuck in your brain, and it will make you want to stick a straw in your ear, suck that brain out of your head then spit it down the drain. But, hopefully the rest of the podcast doesn’t have that effect on you.

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Today we mention:

Annie Hall
Joey Barton
the future of pubic hairstyles
Jessie J vs. indifferent radio professionals eating dinner
Will.I.Am vs. Simon and Garfunkel
‘Party Rock Anthem’ vs. ‘The Birdie Song’
Quentin Crisp
Olly’s uncle
frigid North Hertfordshire
the scary Dalai Lama
the sexual misuse of animals
and
the man with the box on his head.

Plus: Olly theorises upon why footballers sport such ridiculous barnets; Helen does not like her toast done on one side; and sadly we don’t have video footage of Martin the Sound Man’s first ever viewing of ‘Sexy and I Know It‘, but if we did, it would be right up there in the video commentary canon alongside this.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) is a two-course feast of questions: firstly one from Hannah about currywurst, then for pudding a question from Sammy in Falkirk about pineapple. We hope this combination does not give your ears indigestion.

If you want more ear-food next week, please send us a QUESTION: deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 206 with special guest Jackie Mason!

February 23, 2012

Answer Me This! Episode 206 is an exciting one, because we’re joined by legendary comedian and erstwhile rabbi Jackie Mason!

We snuck backstage to talk to him at the Wyndhams Theatre, where he’s performing his farewell show Fearlessclick here to find out more about it and buy tickets – and we learned many things: real people are better to watch than Caddyshack II; Lucozade has yet to break America; and Madonna is a sick person (well, we did have an inkling of that already).

For more wisdom, listen:

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Before you get to hear Jackie, though, you have to listen to us waffling on as usual, about such matters as:

legless frogs
the legal smoking age limit
litotes
sex vs. Buckaroo
Roman numerals
Snog Marry Avoid?
proxy servers
and
heirloom gobstoppers.

Plus: Olly exposes The Artist complainers as FRAUDS; Helen’s inner Russell Brand is unleashed; and before you ask, the reason Martin the Sound Man didn’t come with us to meet Jackie Mason is NOT because no goys were allowed, but because he had to go to work! Science waits for no man.

There’s more Jackie in this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, where he holds forth upon the upcoming US election and Harry Redknapp’s dog, so fire up your iDevices or Android.

AMT is back to its normal guestless state next week, but we’re not alone so long as we have your QUESTIONS; so leave a voicemail on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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