Posts Tagged ‘lions’

EPISODE 354: Magic Jeff

September 7, 2017

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There’s MAGIC! all over Answer Me This! Episode 354: how to MAGICALLY transform a banana into a sliced banana, how to MAGICALLY turn an egg into an egg IN A BOTTLE, and how to MAGICALLY turn an adolescent boy into a hit with the ladies. We also learn about:

sugar nips (not a Mel Gibson expression)
the bad taste left by Jägermeister, in more than one sense
Mount Fuji vs freakshakes
Sugarloaf Mountain(s)
Jean-Eugene Robert-Houdin
intelligent disobedience
wedding injuries – for photos, see below
kings of the jungle place where lions live
magic wands
and
thank you very much for feeding William, thank you very much, thank you very very very much.

Plus: Olly recaps the origins of his lifelong feud with Wales; Helen does not want to learn magic tricks to break the ice at parties (also does not want to go to parties); and Martin the Sound Man can be found behind a veil of steam rising from a Szechuan hotpot.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we learn what it takes to make Olly crack up on air: hepatitis.

Want to hear more from us? There’s the retro AMT episode we lob into your feed mid-month – right now you can hear the crowd favourite AMT186, containing the last known sighting of Owl City; to get it, subscribe to AMT on your podcatcher of choice. All of our back catalogue is available from answermethisstore.com, along with our special albums.

Come to the London Podcast Festival next month: tickets are on sale now for Helen’s live Allusionist and Martin’s Song By Song, featuring Helen and John Hodgman. And Helen will appear with her brother Andy on the live Bugle, in Jordan Jesse Go, in Radiotopia on Radiotopia, and the Networks and Representation panel; so give yourself a very Zaltzman weekend of entertainment.

Thank you very much, thank you very very very much to Squarespace for sponsoring this episode, and for making spiffy websites so easy to build. Do as Martin did: play around during the two-week free trial, then get 10% off Squarespace’s website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘.

Send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or send us a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT355 on 5 October 2017, and with a Retro AMT episode on 22 September.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT354 Child-Friendly Rating: 78%. Not bad! Just a handful of swears, and a question about the demon booze. •••

PS Any more wedding injury photos like these, from Jon and Lorelei (wedding chair) and Courtney (wedding croquet mallet):

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The Best of AMT 2015

December 24, 2015

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Join us for a jaunt through The Best of Answer Me This! 2015, where we revisit such bright spots from the year as:

Paul Simon Says
Buddha, fat and thin
the Stephen King’s IT tattoo
the CKBLT (Chicken Kiev BLT sandwich)
Jurassic Park: The Ballet
Juliet’s balcony
Grumpy Cat
Melanie Griffith’s lion
Nicolas Cage’s octopus
Andre Rieu’s face
highlighter pen(i)s
undead Mike Oldfield
wedding +1 etiquette
Byrd Sister
Greek wine
dominatrix problems
and
olive theft.

And, as every year, there are the Previously Unheard Bits of AMT, plus our favourite: the Melancholy Voicemail Parade.

Haven’t heard the Best Of AMT collections from previous years? Get them at answermethisstore.com/best. All the hits, none of the shits!

Also while you’re at the AMT store, you can buy our classic episodes, albums and apps. By doing so, you’re supporting the show – and obliterating the howling silence, right?

Send in your questions for AMT in 2016: leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Befriend us online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return with AMT330 on 14th January 2016. Happy Christmas/New Year/early January to you all, and thanks for listening this year.

Helen & Olly

••• Best of 2015 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. As in, 50% of the content is child-friendly. The other 50% really isn’t. You know the score by now. •••

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EPISODE 309: Have It Your Way

March 5, 2015

We’re a crossword clue and a powerful influence upon Burger King’s business plans; what might Answer Me This! Episode 309 wreak?

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On today’s agenda:

existential cats vs existential dogs
Garfield vs Falstaff
Gotham vs Gotham
cookies vs soup
Woodstock
Shazam at funerals
Audrey Hepburn’s pet fawn
Tippi Hedren’s pet lion
Mike Tyson’s pet tiger
Mike Tyson’s pet pigeons
Nicolas Cage’s pet octopus
baked bean baths
Cuckoo Bush Mound
stage weapons
sexy spaghetti
and
Olly’s ABSOLUTELY UNCANNY impression of Ben Affleck as Batman.

Plus: here’s our previous work on the origins of Gotham City; here’s some advice for you if you’re planning a sexy spagetti bath; let us know what your most uncomfortable and gross charity endeavour was; and would you whip out your phone to Shazam this song during a funeral?

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (get it for iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets) there’s a little more about the history of Gotham. We think we’ve triangulated where Catwoman is pursuing her postgrad education.

Send us questions, please! Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can also keep us company online at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll be back on 19th March 2015 with AMT310, hopefully you will be too.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT309 Child-Friendly Rating: 70%. The language is coarse, but the content isn’t particularly. •••

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EPISODE 247 – farcically flaccid

February 21, 2013

H&O strangulation

FEAST YOUR EYES.

What a surprise the publishers of our book decided not to use this picture! Granted, their usual style of authorial portrait is usually a little more contemplative, a tad more restrained. But they probably thought that to print an image of such timeless, exquisite beauty on the cover of our book would be unfair on all the other books.

Yes. That must have been the reasoning.

To find out why we have unleashed this aesthetics gamechanger, listen to Answer Me This! Episode 247:

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Today we discuss:

forked tongues
Liv Tyler’s tits
holiday snaps
smoking vs. self-pleasuring
Pot Noodles vs. aquariums
Armageddon vs. Les Miserables
menageries vs. mono-nageries
corgis’ Christmas
Lion Tower
Bruce Willis in a space suit
and
bedroom antics.

Plus: Olly reveals how the Queen helped Kate and Willsher dogs to mate; Helen’s holiday photo albums all look like this; and Martin the Sound Man ejaculates through his tear ducts, apparently.

As an extension of the final questioneer’s bath masturbation query, this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) considers what else you can do in a bath, if said bath is in Las Vegas. Clue: cleanliness is unlikely to be the most immediate concern.

Our immediate concern is, of course, gathering your QUESTIONS: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

Pre-finally, do remember to check out Neil Denny interviewing us on Little Atoms podcast. Finally, get yourself a free Audible audiobook now!

Post-finally, farewell until next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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The AMT Jubilee

March 24, 2012

Just two days after release, The Answer Me This! Jubilee is TOP 20 in the iTunes album chart!* So thankyou very much indeed to everybody who has bought it already; and if you feel moved to do the same, click here to buy it off iTunes. UPDATE: it’s now available on Amazon too, and even better, at our own AMT Store.

In return for your £2.49 outlay (or equivalent in your native currency), you receive 57 minutes and 55 seconds of all-new Answer Me This!, themed around Her Maj’s upcoming Diamond Jubilee.

Amongst the many questions royally addressed are:

Could the Queen get away with murder?
What’s the deal with all those 21-gun salutes?
Does the Queen have a mobile phone?
Are you really supposed to pronounce ‘regina’ like ‘vagina’?
Who has seen the Queen’s tits?
Where can I run into Prince Philip on an average day?
What’s the point of the monarchy, anyway?
And what the bloody hell is going on with those nearly nude guys in the Danish monarchy’s coat of arms?

We hope you enjoy it. If you don’t, blame Prince Andrew, like everybody else does.

*Information correct at time of writing. At time of reading, it might have dropped so far out of the iTunes chart that it is outside by the recycling bins.
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EPISODE 125 – Spam bam thankyou ma’am

March 4, 2010

Well, hello there!

After a refreshing month in the Podcasters’ Rehabilitation Facility, we’re back with springs in our step, twinkles in our eyes, and most importantly (as far as you’re concerned), Answer Me This! Episode 125:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Into which vessel we pour such conversational juices as:

Jason Orange
henbane
Carl Perkins
the Sugababes
John Steinbeck
psoriasis vs. cirrhosis
Voodoo Doughnut fail
Boney M x4
Columbia Law School
Duffy by proxy
the truth and Alan Titchmarsh
Rickrolling
deuce (not the band!)
and
the sex life of E.M. Forster.

Plus: Olly opens up a can of whup-ass on a listener who is an even more massive pedant than Helen; Helen yearns one day to be given the sack; and Martin the Sound Man has a practical solution for all you flatulent yoga-practicing types out there.

For more solutions, practical or impractical, to YOUR QUESTIONS, send us an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, or leave a voicemail on Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. If you do that, we can come back next week to answer yet more of your questions, see? How splendid! See you then!

Helen and Olly

PS. Help yourself to a bit of Olly’s birth-song ‘Stand and Deliver’, why don’t you? And head to the comments to tell us what was the Number 1 song on the day you were born, too!

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