Posts Tagged ‘Oscar Wilde’

EPISODE 342: millionaires dicking around

October 20, 2016

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What do you do when your friend has fallen for a pathological liar? Do you a) confront the fibber with evidence of their deceit, or b) write to a comedy podcast? It’s fairly easy for you to find out: just listen to Answer Me This! Episode 342, in which we also discuss:

dining with babies
dining with strangers’ shitty babies
the Oscars Curse
Jenny Beavan’s red carpet look
supergroups on superyachts
gregarious egregious Gregs
and
the advantage of the cupcake

Plus: Olly betrayed his former self by not doing his wedding dance to ‘The Snooker Song‘ from The Hunting of the Snark; Helen is giving away a dead good podcast idea; and Dave Stewart is not welcome to shit up Martin the Sound Man’s supergroup.

Today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App is about a bit of crap on a lot of kitchen worktops: spiralisers, the existence of which is irking Gemma from Cannock (yes, yes, Martin; the town in the West Midlands to which 80s popstar Tiffany moved after her heyday). Get the app for your iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

We’re open for business at answermethisstore.com if you want to buy our first 200 episodes or our albums. You can also give us money without having to give us any of your own money if you get yourself a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 2 November with AMT343,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT342 Child-Friendly Rating: 66%. A smattering of swears. Low on crudity. •••

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EPISODE 290 – knish you wanna be my lover

May 22, 2014

Victoria Beckham's jumpsuit, from listener Bee's collection

Victoria Beckham’s jumpsuit, from listener Bee’s collection


Hi listeners,

Above is a sacred relic from the 90s: Victoria Beckham’s jumpsuit, from the post-Geri era of the Spice Girls. It’s also a sacred relic of the 90s, in that it’s from Answer Me This! Episode 290, which is here:

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Other souvenirs of today’s episode include:

Wenlock and Mandeville
Michael Jackson’s Xscape
Groupon dates
geeks vs twats
Jay Z vs Siri
the Spice Girls’ girl power vs Shampoo’s ‘Girl Power’
the Olympic Pool
bubblegum flavour
birthday cake flavour
wintergreen flavour
Professor Burp’s Bubbleworks
the true price of Beats by Dre headphones
the Oscar Wilde prosecution restaurant
sleuths
and
Michael Phelps’s wet swimming trunks.

Plus: Olly teaches a child empathy, through Robbie Williams; Helen comes up with a strong concept for the Spice Girls’ fourth album; and Martin the Sound Man reckons going up Anish Kapoor’s Olympic Meccano-crash would be cheap at a third of the price. What IS a bargain is Squarespace.com, who are offering you 10% off for a whole year if you use the code Answer when plumping for their website-building and -hosting services. And the great thing about the 90% you pay is that some of it ends up supporting independent podcasts like this one! Hurrah all round.

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App, Olly voices his disappointment over the ubiquity of Emeli Sandé. Our app is almost as readily available for your iDevices, Android or Windows gadgets.

Please make your questions readily available by calling the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our online buddy at facebook.com/answermethis and/or twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Back with AMT291 on Thursday 5th June,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT290 Child-Friendly Rating: 95%. Pretty clean – possibly even entirely free of swears – although there is a fleeting reference to a Wenlock and Mandeville sex toy towards the end. •••

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EPISODE 240 – shampea

December 6, 2012

Brace yourselves, listeners: in Answer Me This! Episode 240, those two titans of the Northern Hemisphere, Russia and Canada, face off for the bout you’ve all been waiting for. KABOOM!!!!

Sort of.

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This week we speak of:

Andy Warhol’s wig
podcatchers
Russell Brand’s dad
penis pasta
Guinness World Record adjudicators
mean mean mother-in-law
pleasing your partner’s parents
the death of Borders
holidays with Paul Daniels
and
poutine vs. Putin.

Plus: you may be surprised to hear that Olly is a one-doughnut Mann; Helen’s ex-boyfriend moved the earth for her, literally; and Martin the Sound Man unleashes his inner Sarah Palin. Watch out, world.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) is a question from Sam about Gems TV, that 24/7 diamond of entertainment.

Next week is the first half of the Best of Answer Me This! 2012, but for your chance to appear in the Best of Answer Me This! 2013, send us QUESTIONS for the new year. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

Also please do try out our other weekly podcasting exploit The Joy of Tech from BBC 5 Live, in which we talk about the week’s internet events alongside experts in tech, cars, gaming and other highlights of modern existence.

Laters!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 230 – like a Muppet Babies version of the Rolling Stones

September 27, 2012

Hello listeners,

It’s odd that in his ode ‘To Autumn‘, Keats never mentioned amongst the swelling gourds and clammy cells that it is also the time of year where the images of schoolchildren are harvested for posterity in the annual school photos. See above, then while your eyes recover, hear Answer Me This! Episode 230:

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In which we speak of:

sharing a bedroom
Dorian Gray
Liz Jones
the Meg Ryan Game
glamping
Olly’s friend Chay in a Britney video
sleeping arrangements
dehumidifiers
the Titanic Memorial Cruise
grey water vs. black water
big baggy clothes vs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Aaron Paul vs. Aaron Paul
court artists
Ocean Colour Scene
and
relationship advice via Neil LaBute.

Plus: Olly has had enough of these mother-fighting snakesDaily Mails on this monkey-liking plane; Helen’s Kentish childhood was nothing like the latest Wand Erection video (see below); and Martin the Sound Man did not do a William Hague, honest.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (get it for iDevices and Android) involves further discussion of cruises, namely why haven’t hipsters taken them up yet. Surely it’s only a matter of time, though – after all, nobody ever thought bowler hats or the A10 would ever make a comeback, and look at them both now.

As we said in the show, do share your most memorable birthday in the comments; and as always, share your QUESTIONS by leaving voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or sending emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Also go here if you want your own Answer Me This! mug. It’s so big, you could probably go for a week-long cruise in it.

See you next Thursday!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 228 – how many nutcrackers does one man need?

August 16, 2012

The time has come, dear listeners, for us to pack up our microphones for a month and head off on holiday. But before we go, we tackle some very important questions indeed:

• Should one allow one’s allergies interrupt the loss of one’s virginity?
• What counts as a museum, once and for all?
• What IS R Kelly on about?

Discover those answers and more in Answer Me This! Episode 228:

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We also consider:

Wenlock and Mandeville
chocolate hotels
fake Rolexes
Ralph Lauren’s giant horse
badges vs. pins
dead Elvis vs. dead Lenin
Bryan Adams vs. Bryan Adams
the Pencil Museum vs. the Yo-yo Museum vs. the Nutcracker Museum
Mr T jigsaws
necrophilia in Snow White
Jason Biggs, his wife, and their craven need for attention
Père Lachaise cemetery
Olympic memorabilia
bizarre B&Bs
and
sexy Jenga.

Plus: Olly explains a ‘reverse American Pie‘, and no, you won’t find it in More! Magazine’s ‘Position of the Fortnight’ archives; Helen’s toilet is like Kanye West, and not because he has a pottymouth; and Martin the Sound Man had just about recovered from the disappointment that was Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when Prometheus came along and crushed his expectations all over again.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Jennifer from Pittsburgh about whether being struck by lightning affects your ability to use technology; assuming the after-effects of that old lightning strike allow it, use your iDevices and Android to peruse the app.

Until we return on Thursday 20th September, here are some means of busying yourself:

1. Listen to us on BBC 5 Live, 1-4pm on Monday 27th August, talking about all sorts of fun and diverse listening materials in our special bank holiday show Required Listening.
2. Tune in to Olly on LBC, 20th-24th August between 1-4am. That’s right, am. Unless you live in a different time zone and it’s a perfectly civilised hour there.
3. Vote for Helen to go to SXSW next year, on a podcasting panel with Jesse Thorn and Roman Mars.
4. Listen to Martin’s music. It is much less obscene than him talking.
5. Have a go on our albums, our first 120 episodes, and some other nice podcasts.
6. Concoct QUESTIONS for our next series: leave voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Have a delightful month, and we look forward to reuniting on 20th September.

Helen & Olly

PS Sadly, the Cars of the Stars museum in Keswick closed down last year. But it still lives forever here:

Manage your Olympics withdrawal with AMT Sports Day

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