Posts Tagged ‘pencils’

EPISODE 321: Who can tell what a fly is thinking?

August 20, 2015

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Answer Me This! Episode 321‘s questioneers are concerned about networking, Taylor Swift’s ‘Bad Blood‘, and what they’ve found on their parents’ hard drives, as well as:

Mars 2112
confirmation names
butchers’ curtains
business cards
hiding XXX photos
the perils of Windows 10
the Mann school of networking vs the Zaltzman school of networking
the ‘Bad Blood’ galaxy of stars
flies
Picabo Street
Andre Rieu
Polari
and
adult colouring books.

Plus: Olly needs to spend more private time with the Victoria’s Secret catalogue; rather than giving Helen your business card, just put it straight into the recycling bin; and Martin the Sound Man wants you to preserve your parents’ sexual memories, and does NOT want any froyo.

There’s additional Bad Blood Chat in today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App. When Olly went for an MRI recently, did he wear a white rubber bikini like Taylor Swift does in the video? To find out, fire up the app on your iThings, Android and Windows devices.

If, like Martin, you’re about to build a new website, do it using Squarespace.com, who sponsor today’s episode. Use the code ANSWER to get 10% off their website-building and -hosting services for a year, which include a URL, loads of storage and 24/7 support.

We have a 24/7 yearning for your questions. Leave voicemails on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – and send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Pal up at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We’ll return on 3rd September 2015 with AMT322. Until then, colour within the lines.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT321 Child-Friendly Rating: 47%. A couple of strong swears, and we don’t know which will be more appalling to your children: the conversation about parents’ saucy photos, or the conversation about networking. •••

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH
Advertisements

EPISODE 257 – not too much of a problem for continence

May 16, 2013

Hello listeners! We have wonderful news for you this week: you can have a free month’s subscription to LoveFilm, whereby you can gorge yourself on unlimited telly and film, whilst we get a bit of dosh for you doing so.

Trot along to answermethispodcast.com/LoveFilm to take up the offer, but beware, your achievement levels may slump immediately as a result – I almost didn’t get around to posting Answer Me This! Episode 257 because I got sucked into rewatching all of 90s wobblycam dramedy This Life. Oh Egg. Stop allowing football to distract you from the fact that your relationship is so thankless.

Unlike AMT257, of course. Listen:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Today we discuss:

yoga and pilates
the room being full of hotties
hog-faced coons
personalised polling stations
polling pencils vs. polling pens
child actors vs. pushy parents
magpies vs. ratatouille
Ben Affleck vs. his past self as one half of Bennifer
Aunt Bessie vs. Mrs Elswood vs. Sarah Nelson
Google Doodles vs. Bing…things?
something saucy
James McAvoy
Burning Man
Charlie Chaplin’s 122nd birthday
Dennis Hwang’s Wikipedia page
Nude Nuns with Big Guns
and
supermarket shopping dividerzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Plus, if that last topic didn’t put you sleep: Olly hopes his career develops well enough that he doesn’t have to do ‘ass to ass’ with some frozen honey-roast parsnips; Helen was a Google Virgin until she met Olly; and Martin the Sound Man is so angry at the mere mention of Madonna, he drowns in his own bile. And if you want to do the same, revise her shit ‘American Life’ here. Yep, that’ll do it.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Olly is feeling unlucky since the loss of Google’s ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ button. Someone organise a black tie benefit dinner-dance for him, asap!

While that’s going on, the rest of you can send us your QUESTIONS for forthcoming episodes: leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis; or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday, LoveFilm-wormholes notwithstanding,

Helen & Olly

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 228 – how many nutcrackers does one man need?

August 16, 2012

The time has come, dear listeners, for us to pack up our microphones for a month and head off on holiday. But before we go, we tackle some very important questions indeed:

• Should one allow one’s allergies interrupt the loss of one’s virginity?
• What counts as a museum, once and for all?
• What IS R Kelly on about?

Discover those answers and more in Answer Me This! Episode 228:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

We also consider:

Wenlock and Mandeville
chocolate hotels
fake Rolexes
Ralph Lauren’s giant horse
badges vs. pins
dead Elvis vs. dead Lenin
Bryan Adams vs. Bryan Adams
the Pencil Museum vs. the Yo-yo Museum vs. the Nutcracker Museum
Mr T jigsaws
necrophilia in Snow White
Jason Biggs, his wife, and their craven need for attention
Père Lachaise cemetery
Olympic memorabilia
bizarre B&Bs
and
sexy Jenga.

Plus: Olly explains a ‘reverse American Pie‘, and no, you won’t find it in More! Magazine’s ‘Position of the Fortnight’ archives; Helen’s toilet is like Kanye West, and not because he has a pottymouth; and Martin the Sound Man had just about recovered from the disappointment that was Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness when Prometheus came along and crushed his expectations all over again.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Jennifer from Pittsburgh about whether being struck by lightning affects your ability to use technology; assuming the after-effects of that old lightning strike allow it, use your iDevices and Android to peruse the app.

Until we return on Thursday 20th September, here are some means of busying yourself:

1. Listen to us on BBC 5 Live, 1-4pm on Monday 27th August, talking about all sorts of fun and diverse listening materials in our special bank holiday show Required Listening.
2. Tune in to Olly on LBC, 20th-24th August between 1-4am. That’s right, am. Unless you live in a different time zone and it’s a perfectly civilised hour there.
3. Vote for Helen to go to SXSW next year, on a podcasting panel with Jesse Thorn and Roman Mars.
4. Listen to Martin’s music. It is much less obscene than him talking.
5. Have a go on our albums, our first 120 episodes, and some other nice podcasts.
6. Concoct QUESTIONS for our next series: leave voicemails on the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

Have a delightful month, and we look forward to reuniting on 20th September.

Helen & Olly

PS Sadly, the Cars of the Stars museum in Keswick closed down last year. But it still lives forever here:

Manage your Olympics withdrawal with AMT Sports Day

iTUNESALBUMSAMT BOOKQUESTION ARCHIVEEPISODESFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 173 – drunk in charge of a horse

March 31, 2011

Dear listeners,

Thankyou for waiting patiently for Answer Me This! Episode 173 while Olly disports himself on a spa break. You’ll be pleased to know he is now fully refreshed, like a man half his age, albeit one with the hobbies of a woman twice his age. Anyway, without further ado, on to the episode:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Ruining the serene majesty of silence is chitchat about:

the 2011 census mystery
Nigerian spammers
the All Seeing I
Rapa Nui pissing contests
c@fes
the 1872 Licensing Act
Sir Neville Francis Fitzgerald Chamberlain
self-proclaimed Jedis
Mr Punch vs. fruit punch
prehistoric vs. historic
Buffy vs. rabbits
jujitsu vs. bridge
Pyramid Pool vs. Life Pool
i- vs. e-
2001 – A Space Odyssey vs. Snog Marry Avoid
Kane Kramer
self-defence in Ikea
mobility scooters
outside toilets
and
the old man’s coconut.

Plus: if Olly ever decides to take a wife, the lucky lady in question must gird herself for a truly alarming musical interlude on their wedding day; Helen debases herself to try to wangle a replacement iPod; and Martin the Sound Man gives the worst advice we’ve ever heard about saving yourself being savaged by a dangerous dog. Barbara Woodhouse will be spinning in her grave. Happily, however, she’ll be jiving in her grave when she hears the song Martin has dropped on his latest podcast – go along to thesoundoftheladies.com then to listen to it! And go along to your own iPhone or Android device for this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, in which we go from snooker legend Robbie O’Sullivan to Hanson in two easy steps (those steps being the Searchers and the Zombies).

Now take a deep breath and enjoy some good news week – not only this latest addition to our wall of certificates, but also the recommencement of our Audible freebie offer! Go to answermethispodcast.com/audible to get yourself free and half-price audiobooks, because Audible seem quite keen for you to drain them dry. Ours not to reason why.

Having done that, please send us your QUESTIONSfor next week: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Then take a refresher course in snooker ballshideous novelty songs of the 1980s:

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

ALBUMSCLASSIC EPISODESBOOKiTUNESSOUNDCLOUDFAQ
iPHONE APPANDROID APPFACEBOOKTWITTERYOUTUBEMERCH

EPISODE 156 – bullies and interlopers of the bird world

November 11, 2010

Thanks to everyone who has already bought our book and/or reviewed it on Amazon. And thanks to all of you in advance for listening to Answer Me This! Episode 156:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Amongst many other things, we consider:

the Augean stables
Green Shield Stamps
Miami Fried Chicken
Gavin Bryars
home economics vs. cookery class
cowardice vs. gullibility
Sperm Wars
Littlewoods Index
Cerberus
The Shadows
peppermint creams
Gauls
Take your Child To Work Day
Jerry Yang and David Filo
scaredy chickens
Hercules
played by Mel Gibson
Richard Tompkins
Jules Leotard
Sarah Harding
and
heaven on Earth in Canada.

If that’s not enough, this week’s nugget of bonus content on the app, we marvel at the young Olly Mann’s love of theatrical PR. A wickle Cameron Mackintosh, how cuuuute! His parents must have been so proudconfused.

You know what would make us happy? YOUR QUESTIONS! Deliver them to us via the Question Line (0208 123 5877), Skype (our handle is answermethis), or email (answermethispodcast@googlemail.com). You know what else would make us happy? If you can pop along to one of our forthcoming book events, the first of which is 6pm Thursday 18th November at Waterstone’s Gower Street. You know what else would make us happy? A nice cup of tea. We’ll sort that out, while you work on the other two happiness-makers.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesBookQuestion ArchiveFAQEpisodes
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 149 – Bazooka Joe

September 9, 2010


At last, the special guestisode featuring Ian Collins off TalkSPORT has arrived! In it we find out a great deal about the great man: his life in pencils, his close relationship with the Home Office, his special form of vigilante justice, and his position as the only man in the world who thinks Cheryl Cole is ‘a bit of a munter’.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In it, Ian talks to us about such matters as:

Cleethorpes

Morrissey
Rugrats
Ikea pencils vs. Ikea meatballs
pub quiz machines vs. rightness
bubble vs. chewing in the battle of the gums
parliament vs. coconuts
Larry David
courtroom quizzes
the gravy and mini apple pies diet
Boots the Chemist
Spitting Image‘s legal defence
Henry Frankenstein?
and
Wall’s sausage ice-cream

Plus: Olly has beef with the Wood Green branch of Harvester; Helen has beef with infantilised adults; and Ian has beef with PC Stamp from The Bill. Martin the Sound Man does not have beef with anyone this episode, but he will have beef with you if you don’t buy his album; so you’d better do that unless you want to feel his wrath.

This week’s slice of bonus fun on the app is a question from Daniel from Wakefield’s question about Darth Vader’s heavy breathing. He has more in common with Beverley Craven and Helen’s family dog than previously thought.

Now don’t be cross, but next week is the last episode of the series, so get your QUESTIONS in, quick! Leave a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of stuff to listen to during our VERY BRIEF break, because of all the free or cheap-as-chips audiobooks which Audible.co.uk wish to bestow upon you – click here to get yours!

See you next week, loves,

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel

EPISODE 144 – closer to a potato choc-ice

August 5, 2010

Dear friends,

If, like Olly, you are delightfully innocent and pure-minded, listen with care to Answer Me This! Episode 144; for, like him, you will probably be SHOCKED TO THE VERY CORE to understand what the heck that mucky broad Britney Spears was on about in her ‘If You Seek Amy’ ditty. We don’t know which was more shocking: the blatant sauce of the double meaning, or the topsy-turvy grammar of the single meaning.


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Delicious Miss Dahl’s dirty martinis
skate’s dirty parts
Sea Pebbles
citric acid
‘Scotland the Brave’ vs. ‘Greensleeves’
the MTV Cribs diet
carbonated champagne
matzo meal
Clamato
kosher fish
those child-hating bastards Cybercandy
strawberries
the spoon trick
Hatch End
fizzy cola bottle inequity
and
modern marginalia.

Plus: Olly compares his pioneeringderanged snacking habits to Heston Blumenthal; Helen ruins Olly’s favourite delicacy, tipple, and high school sing-song tv series; and Martin the Sound Man does a rap, gives insight into the dairy consumption of tramps, and otherwise disgraces himself.

We also peer beneath the frilly underskirts of Great British Questions Episode 3: Romance, exposing some mild disappointment in the world’s biggest coloured pencil, and wondering whether the Cerne Abbas giant has been slacking on his fatherly duties thus far. Meanwhile, over on the fair shores of the AMT app, we speak of marginal things we like. Nothing pervy, unless you are aroused by the shoes of elderly Jews.

Now it’s time to give us your QUESTIONS; please bestow them upon is in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. How thrilled we shall be to receive them!

See you next Thursday for Episode 145, and on the preceding Tuesday for Episode Four of Great British Questions, in which we glug down sufficient tea to rehydrate the Kalahari.

Helen and Olly

Subscribe with iTunesListen to episodesQuestion ArchiveFAQ
AppFacebookTwitterMerch SuperstoreYouTube Channel