Posts Tagged ‘possessions’

EPISODE 361: secret skipping lover

April 5, 2018

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With a spring in your step and a scent in your nostrils and a freshly cleaned undercarriage and Answer Me This! Episode 361 in your ears, join us to consider:

Smell-O-Vision
reclaiming skipping for the adult man
museum buddies
the Dalí museum
bidet chat
baby equipment
the perfect baby bottle warmer
getting aboard Michael Palin
crystal prawn cocktail glasses
and
Trainy McTrainface.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we have a bonus question from prolific questioneer Lindon from Huddersfield about how to cut off the ex-housemate who’s still a parasite upon Lindon’s Spotify account.

Want to see Helen and Martin live on stage? (NB that’s ‘live’ in an adverbial sense, not a verbal sense. Although they will be alive on stage. They just don’t live on one. Why do you have to make everything so complicated?) They’ll be touring with Radiotopia in the eastern USA in May and the Allusionist in Australia in June, and you can check where and when and how at theallusionist.org/events. And hear all about Olly’s grandmother’s amazing piss-based beauty routine on The Modern Mann at modernmann.co.uk.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show, and for making it so easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Visit squarespace.com/answer; play around during the two-week free trial; then when you’re ready to buy your website or domain, you can have get 10% off your first purchase with the discount code ‘answer‘.

You can also get two free Audible audiobooks if you go to answermethispodcast.com/audible. Why don’t you listen along with Olly to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s memoir? He turned TS Eliot’s poetry into a hit musical and Thomas the Tank Engine into what looks like a load of off-brand Power Rangers on roller skates – what ISN’T he capable of?

You are capable of sending us your QUESTIONS: deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can still use the old ways of calling the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, but a lot of those messages haven’t been reaching us lately or are coming out sounding like you’ve just been eaten by a robot. So emailing a voice memo is the safer bet.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT362 on 3 May 2018, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 19 April.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT361 Child-Friendly Rating: 60%. A handful of swears. Acknowledgement of the existence of the nether regions. •••

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EPISODE 360: dirty pants rocket

March 1, 2018

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Wow. It took more than eleven years and 360 episodes, but it has at last happened:

Our first ever question about the Bowling for Soup.

(Who? (No, that’s not the actual question.))

Try to contain yourselves on this landmark occasion as you listen to Answer Me This! Episode 360, in which we also learn about:

astronauts’ dirty underwear
Sushidoku™
bears
the biggest ever cruise ship
sleeping in your grandpa’s old bed
sploofs
skunks vs skunk
seeing a rocket launch
and
the Blockbusters Hand Jive.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – Helen craves more information from behind the scenes at the Hanoi water puppet show. (Someone please tell us: how do the performers cope with the water and the boredom, HOW?)

We also have Other Projects. Hear Olly’s interview with Britain’s biggest rogue trader at modernmann.co.uk. To celebrate the release of the Black Panther film, Helen’s latest Allusionist is about the evolution of superhero names – hear it at theallusionist.org. And you can see her TED talk about typos HERE (or at the bottom of this post if you are a scroller not a clicker). And Martin the Sound Man’s latest album Ten Things Which Aren’t Love is available for £0 – or more, if you absolutely insist – at palebirdmusic.com.

Thanks to Squarespace for sponsoring the show, and for making it so easy to set up a good-looking website for your projects. Play around during the two-week free trial, then get 10% off Squarespace’s website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year with the discount code ‘answer‘. Is it safe? Of course it’s safe!

You can also get two free Audible audiobooks if you go to answermethispodcast.com/audible. Two free audiobooks are better than one free audiobook which is better than no free audiobooks, so get yourself free audiobooks!

Send us your QUESTIONS: deliver a voice memo or a written question by emailing answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You can still use the old ways of calling the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, but a lot of those messages haven’t been reaching us lately or are coming out sounding like you’ve just been eaten by a robot. So a voice memo is a safer bet.

Be our interfriend at twitter.com/HelenAndOlly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back with AMT361 on 5 April 2018, and there’ll be a Retro AMT episode in your feeds on 22 March.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT360 Child-Friendly Rating: 71%. Not very bawdy or sweary, but does include a question about weed-smoking, and also reflections upon one’s parents’ mortality. •••

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EPISODE 346: ten years. TEN YEARS. Ten. Years. Tenyears! #tenyears

January 5, 2017

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Ten years. Ten years! TEN. YEARS. Ten years we’ve been doing this show. TEN.

In that time, technologies have waxed and waned; world leaders have come and gone; yet here we still are, answering the questions that you supply, just as we did in episode 1 all the way back in January 2007, and in every episode in between.

To celebrate the show’s birthday, in Answer Me This! Episode 346 we provide a thrilling glimpse into the AMT Process, receive a gift from a musical hero, and tackle a question on Olly’s favourite third favourite subject. We also discuss:

Mickey Mouse
sentimental dehydrators
rubber fetishes
grown-up purchases
Helen’s lost engagement ring vs Helen’s lost copy of Heathers
Warhol’s Campbell’s soup cans vs Campbell’s actual soup cans
graphic design vs fine art vs graphic design
file-in-cake-based prison breaks
British bears
British beavers
and
why you should never lend things to friends if you ever want to get those things back.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available for iPadPhones, Android and Windows devices – we consider another problem for a Mickey Mouse reboot: the voice. Disney, if you’re listening, we have a suggestion for who should play Mickey. Go on, give it a go…

You should give our album AMT Love a go, if you want to hear an hour of us talking about sex and relationships. It’s available from the AMT store – you can also get it from iTunes and Amazon, if you prefer – along with our other albums and our classic episodes. We can’t pretend that listening back to the first episode today didn’t make us wince, but for just 79.9p it’s a good price for a wince.

Thanks to our friends at Squarespace.com for sponsoring this episode, and for giving you 10% off their website-hosting and -designing services for a whole year if you use the discount code ‘answer‘.

Bigger thanks to YOU for listening and sending in questions and supplying kind messages and buying our stuff and generally supporting us during the past decade.

As always, we need you to send us your QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

Now we’re off to celebrate with a nugget of dehydrated birthday cake. Yes, THAT’s who ended up with Ben’s dehydrator! Mwahahahaaaaa.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT346 Child-Friendly Rating: 24%. Several swears, and a question about rubber kinks and sex dungeons. •••

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EPISODE 340: the post-pre-Netflix world

September 22, 2016

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Listeners, how terribly remiss of us to make it through three quarters of 2016 without marking the fact that it has been designated by the UN as the International Year of Pulses. But thankfully there’s still three months of it in which to celebrate, starting with a pulverised pea party in Answer Me This! Episode 340. We also speak of:

VHS tapes
bear shit
whale shit
mushy peas
candy floss
Graham from Canada nostalgia
double beds
The Hays Code
bad advice from The Modern Man (NOT The Modern Mann)
marrowfat facts (marrowfacts?)
and
FitFatbit.

Plus: Olly finally unsubscribed from his ‘Paying for a gym is just as productive as attending a gym’ fitness plan; Helen advises on her specialist subject: avoiding social interaction; and Martin the Sound Man is all umami and no trousers.

In today’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App – available on iThings, Android and Windows devices – an anonymous questioneer has a dilemma about free wine. Well, it’s not really free. Someone always pays. Just, in this case, not him. (But possibly Martin, twice, because he is SUCH a good citizen.)

If you want to spend your wine budget on more AMT, head to answermethisstore.com to stock up on our albums and our first 200 episodes. You can also generate FREE MONEY for us and a FREE AUDIOBOOK for you at answermethispodcast.com/audible.

To send us questions for future episodes, call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, and email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Be our interfriend at twitter.com/helenandolly and facebook.com/answermethis.

We’ll be back on 6 October with AMT341,

Helen & Olly

••• AMT340 Child-Friendly Rating: 44%. Quite a few strong swears. References to sex. •••

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EPISODE 237 – Masters in pig sex

November 15, 2012

Dear listeners,

Apologies in advance. Today we discuss pig sex twice and it’s not even the worst kind of sex to be mentioned in Answer Me This! Episode 237:

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Wherein we contemplate:

Werther’s caramel-coated bullshit
Roger Beckham
Kelis’s milkshake vs. $0.50’s lollipop
David Byrne’s How Music Works
Anne Robinson
60 Minute Martinover
the novel companion to Twix’s study in duality
exploiting the bereaved
critical theory ruining everything
Mika
Watchdog
and
relationships with relations.

Plus: even a customised Segway won’t bring back Olly’s childhood joy; Helen will consider being your late mother’s marketing consultant, but only for actual MONEY not some old shoes; and click here to see the picture of Martin the Sound Man that brought all the boys to the yard – however do bear in mind that it IS just a picture of a 34-year-old man drinking a strawberry milkshake, nothing special. Martin’s new album, on the other hand, is very special – it comes out next week so preorder your copy HERE.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices and Android) Helen complains about one of her legion linguistic bugbears: the word ‘umami’. Then turns it into a song, in an effort to make her like it better.

You know what we do like a very great deal? No, NOT pig sex; your QUESTIONS. Email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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