Posts Tagged ‘sayings’

EPISODE 282 – coriander* IS the Stephen Fry of herbs

January 30, 2014

What would YOU like to be buried in, listeners? A solid gold sarcophagus? A Zorb ball? A burlap sack? Contemplate this issue whilst listening to Answer Me This! Episode 282:

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In which we discuss:

coffins vs caskets
coriander* vs carbonara
statues vs sculptures**
Leonardo DiCaprio vs Norman Lamont
sweaty sportswear
Americano coffee
Lincoln Logs
film soundtracks
sexy parrots
jamoke
Jesse Honey vs flags of the world
the price of Lego
Ron Mueck
and
an update to the Mastermind chair?

Plus: Olly probably doesn’t want to be served up as a snack at his own wake; Helen will be a posthumous pedant, OF COURSE; and Martin the Sound Man, MPhys, DPhil, doesn’t have a specialist subject on Mastermind, unless you can spin a whole round out of turning One Direction into physics references. Which seems quite possible, actually.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, Olly invents a new game, even better than Lego, even better than Lincoln Logs. What, what, what incredible passtime can this be? Find out on your iDevices, Android and Windows.

We invite you to aid questioneer Brian by naming this tune:

We also invite you to give Squarespace.com a whirl, and if you enjoy that whirl you give it, use the code answer1 to snag a 10% discount for a whole year.

We also also invite you to send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We finally invite you to rejoin us in a fortnight for AMT283,

Helen & Olly

* Translation for our American chums: cilantro
** Find out more about Helen growing up with a sculptor for a dad in episode 300 of the super Little Atoms podcast.

AMT282 Child-Friendly Rating: 76%. A couple of F-bombs, but other than that, fairly clear of saucy language. Elevated discussions of sculpture, coffins and Mastermind. Less elevated discussions of sweaty sports bras. Remember, parents: light and shade, light and shade.

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alright?

November 14, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT277

Here’s a question of vernacular from Alex:

I’m from Sweden but I’ve lived in the UK for 10 years – which is is about a third of my life.

I have adjusted well and feel like I understand the British sense of humour, culture and got to grips with you poor dental care and MRSA-ridden hospitals, your crazy ass parliament (a bunch of posh old men shouting at each other?!), binge drinking, TOWIE etc.

One thing I still haven’t got to grips with is this:

When someone greets me by saying “alright?”

Do they mean “Hi!” or do they mean “How are you?”
I never know how to respond; do I say, “I’m good thanks, how are you?” do I say “hi” back, or do I say “alright”?

Also, my boss always says “you ok?” to me, rather than saying “hi” or even “alright?”. Does this mean the same thing i.e. a greeting, or is he genuinely concerned about my wellbeing?

So, in conclusion, how do I respond to “alright?” or “you ok?”

You’re right to suspect, Alex, that these people aren’t really too interested in your health. Think of these as greetings which are slightly more elaborate than “Hi”, in that they’re inviting you to respond, even if you’re responding in kind with meaningless small talk. “Fine thanks, how are you?” is always an appropriate response, regardless of whether you’re actually fine and interested in how the other person is.

The next step in the dance is more difficult to predict. Ideally, you’ll either move on to actual conversation rather than filler, or part company, but sometimes you can be trapped in a small talk volley for several minutes or even hours. So always have an exit strategy, because you don’t want to die from a ruptured bladder after being too polite to end a week-long exchange of casual greetings.

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EPISODE 218 – shipshape and Bristol fashion

June 7, 2012

Hi listeners,

There are a lot of really weird stories in the news at the moment – cannibals, dismembered bodies, Octomom doing a porno – but fortunately this week, AMT218 is a largely horror-free zone:

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Today we talk of:

marriage licences
the Pitcher and Piano
expensive clothes
actors’ motivation
Fifty Shades of Grey vs. The White Hotel vs. Wuthering Heights
Mario vs. Lazarus
moist Jo Whiley
Tinky Winky, live in Luxembourg
outlet stores
death by giant snail
and
#.

Plus: Olly doesn’t want to get married in Vegas; Helen doesn’t want to have to watch embarrassing bodies on Embarrassing Bodies; but Martin the Sound Man DOES want you to enter his science songwriting competition, so click here to find out how to enter before you dash off to your zither-room to compose.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) involves Claudia from Melbourne asking whether you can text the police rather than calling them. With all the cuts to public services, unfortunately the police have had to lay off their full-time team of interpreters waiting to figure out what you mean by HLP pls sum1 tryn2 mrdr me non-LOL srsly >:-O

If you still have proper command over vowels, send us a QUESTION for next week: deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and/or leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

Also, if you’re especially interested in what goes on around here, you can hear us being interviewed on the latest episode of Podcast Squared. We hope that the demystification of our Process doesn’t spoil AMT for you. If not, we’ll see you back here next Thursday.

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 216 – dark passenger

May 24, 2012

Hello listeners,

This week, we wonder at the morals of fairy tales. You know, the stupid underlying ‘meaning’ that spoils the fun of a far-out fictional confection, and ensures that kiddies absorb some very dubious life lessons. There are probably some very dubious life lessons in AMT216, but at least we’re not pretending we have any morals.

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Today we contemplate:

round robin letters
Keeping Up Appearances
Roy Clarke
Compo vs. Prometheus
basket cases
dominatrixes
non-alcoholic beer
hospital flowers
the grape cure
governess porn
sexy pizza
sexy Travis Bickle
American Apparel
why we don’t do shout-outs
and
the only thing that happens in 31 series of Last of the Summer Wine.

Plus: Olly would like Aesop’s Fables to be more like a Choose Your Own Adventure book; Helen is the Sookie Stackhouse of AMT; and Martin the Sound Man gets quite emotional about the tale of the Elves and the Shoemaker. Thankfully he recovered sufficiently to launch a contest for under-18 songwriters, which you can find out about by clicking here.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) is a question from a couple of chaps on their way to Alton Towers. Cue a blast of Mann Rage directed at theme park rides that blatantly used to be other theme park rides. Oh God, why dost thou torment him thus?

What is not a torment is asking us a QUESTION! (Though reading some of them is a torment for us.) Send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave a voicemail on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis).

And assuming the elves will step in to finish off our chores, we will see you again next week for AMT217.

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 185 – the Pyjama Experience

July 28, 2011

Good morning Team AMT,

It was a race against time to complete this week’s episode and make it to London Road before curtain up. “But it’s the National Theatre!” you wail. “They don’t DO curtains.” You’re right. We’re talking metaphorical curtains. But we’re not talking metaphorical curtains in Answer Me This! Episode 185:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

We are, instead, talking about:

marriage certificates
prize belts
toy guard dogs
claret jugs
meat feast pizza
Ian Huntley vs. Poirot
killer whales vs. sharks
spiders vs. bananas
The Shamen, Bob Dylan and Lulu vs. the BBC
Jerry Sadowitz
‘Je T’aime’
Slinky Dog
how Noel Edmonds’s Multi-Coloured Swap Shop begat Live & Kicking
Orcus
Rodney Alcala
tall geriatrics
and
krill.

Plus: Olly lays waste to Percy Pig and Pals; Helen tells you how to liven up a TV gameshow; and Martin the Sound Man thinks the Strokes and Primal Scream are a bunch of wusses. This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone and iPad, or Android) tackles Olly’s golfing future. Will he? Won’t he? Will his shoulder pop out of its socket yet again? That’s not something anyone wants to see as they tee off.

We can’t tee off next week’s episode without your QUESTIONS, so deliver them as voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Fooooore!

xoxo,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 164 – children have got to learn that sometimes they’re WRONG

January 27, 2011

Dear fellows,

Are you keeping calm? Are you carrying on? Because this week, in Answer Me This! Episode 164, we wonder how a morale-boosting WWII poster spawned all of this shit (nb by ‘this shit’ we don’t mean the episode here):


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

But before we get onto that, we talk of:

the G6 Summit
Bruce Wayne’s toilet
Jingle All the Way
Muffin the Mule
bingo wings before bingo wings
kleftiko
Levi Strauss
Tinie Tempah
Club Med vs. opera
synergy vs. symbiosis
pranks vs. sexual harassment
Tape
the fresh air suburb
domesticity, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles-style
Groupon’s discount slaves
Shingai Shoniwa cutlets
and
bat guano.

Furthermore: Olly sees what could have happened to X Factor alumni G4, given a Sliding Doors-style alternative existence; Helen scripts Downton Abbey without ever having seen it; and if you catch Martin the Sound Man scrutinising your crotch when you’re at a public urinal, don’t worry – he’s just conducting a survey. At least, that’s his story, m’lud.

And if that weren’t bad enough news for your genitals, this week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a cautionary tale of how if you go orienteering, you’ll most likely get a stinging nettle on your reproductive organs. Heed that warning on iPhone or Android. Those of you with elderly phones, just remember to keep your pants on AT ALL TIMES. For nature can be so cruel.

Happily, you don’t have to keep your pants on in order to ask us QUESTIONS: all you have to do is send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by dialling 0208 123 5877 or Skyping answermethis.

Actually, it would be better if you kept your pants on. Sorry. We’ve got such sensitive constitutions.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

PS. If you’ve ever done anything particularly G6-like yourself, by all means show off about it in the comments.

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EPISODE 138 – do as Megan Fox does

June 3, 2010

We see a dark blot on the horizon. A dark, sports-shaped blot. Wimbledon AND the World Cup football in the next month? It’s too much for our sensibilities. We can’t stop it; we can’t pretend to like it; but we can prepare ourselves, so we try to limber up with a bit of tangentially sportif chitterchatter in Answer Me This! Episode 138:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)
Don’t worry, the majority of the content is non-sportular, including:

Project Runway
Jacques Chirac G8 Fail
Hobbycraft
Wenlock and Mandeville vs. Banksy and David Shrigley
Ped Egg vs. fungal nail infection in the Battle of the Turned Stomachs
Yoshiaki Shiraishi
massage
sitting shivah
the obscure early life of Jools Holland
NASA entry requirements
and
bacon bras.

Plus: Olly finds the present day to be lagging behind in meeting targets set in The Terminator; Helen reveals the secret that made Neil Armstrong the first man on the moon; and Martin the Sound Man is quite quiet and well-behaved because he’s really thinking about getting back to playing Red Dead Redemption. A podcast cannot come between the man and his PS3. Harrumph.

We’re looking to you to keep our spirits up in these tryingly footbally times, so please send us QUESTIONS with which to distract ourselves, in the form of a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis or an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Ta for that.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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