Posts Tagged ‘Stephen Fry’

Best of AMT 2014

December 18, 2014

AMT three
Listeners, thank you so much for contributing your attention, questions and eartime to us this year. What a year it has been! Relisten to the highlights – and lowlights, including such annual delights as the Parade of Melancholy Calls and the blooper reel – in The Best of Answer Me This! 2014:

 

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

So many precious moments… Create more of them in 2015 by sending us your QUESTIONS: leave a message on the Question Line – call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis – or send an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

By the way, if you have the AMT app on your iDevices, Android and Windows gadgets, you have access to all the previous AMT Best Ofs. For those of you who are app-less, you can obtain these joyous compilations from answermethisstore.com/best. Also at the AMT store, iTunes and Amazon, you can buy our albums and old episodes – the perfect festive gift for the AMT fan, ie you, and the perfect gift for us, ie money to continue making the show next year.

Another Christmas gift we would love is for you to tell a friend about the show! There are still a few billion people in the world who are yet to hear it, so do your bit to remedy this sad situation.

We’ll be back on Thursday 8th January 2015 with AMT305; in the meantime, behave yourselves, and keep in touch at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Byeeeeee!!!

Helen & Olly

••• Best of AMT2014 Child-Friendly Rating: 50%. Patchily suitable for all ears. The risk is yours. •••

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EPISODE 292 – phallic noses

June 19, 2014

Listeners, who is the bigger idiot: the questioneer who is too big an idiot to make toast, or the podcasters who talk about that big idiot for nearly ten minutes?

The only way to decide is to listen to Answer Me This! Episode 292:

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In which we discuss:

Alexander Armstrong
McDonald’s weddings
Pop Tarts
Christmas booze
30 years since Gremlins
metal thieves vs Barbara Hepworth
graphic design vs alternative medicine
tiny toaster troubles
sass
Greyhound Buses
Olly’s next rotten criminal scheme
raccoons
and
The Raccoons.

In today’s Bit of Crap on the App, we delve deeper into the grotesque and terrifying world of novelty toasters. Join us if you dare on your iDevice, Android or Windows toy.

If you’ve invented your own amazing multi-functional toaster (“Guys! It can heat soup at the same time as cutting the toast into perfectly equal croutons!”) then build yourself a snazzy online store through our benevolent sponsors Squarespace.com, deploying the code Answer for 10% off their services for a whole year.

When you’re not too preoccupied with (re)inventing kitchen gadgetry, send us QUESTIONS: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And be our imaginary friend at facebook.com/answermethis and twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

We shall return on Thursday 3rd July with AMT293 – but we’ll also be appearing on this Radio Academy panel about podcasting on 25th June; and as we mentioned, we’re also available at our side project podcasts The Media Podcast, Sound Women and Brain Train. Furthermore, to accompany all the SPOOOOOORT that seems to be happening at the moment, you can hear us talking as sportily as we are able on the AMT Sports Day album, available now at answermethisstore.com.

That’s it! We’re off to make some toast. We could be gone for some time.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT292 Child-Friendly Rating: 40%. Swears. Cartoon phallic noses. Kicks off with feedback about parental sex, the very notion of which can be traumatic for your progeny. •••

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EPISODE 282 – coriander* IS the Stephen Fry of herbs

January 30, 2014

What would YOU like to be buried in, listeners? A solid gold sarcophagus? A Zorb ball? A burlap sack? Contemplate this issue whilst listening to Answer Me This! Episode 282:

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In which we discuss:

coffins vs caskets
coriander* vs carbonara
statues vs sculptures**
Leonardo DiCaprio vs Norman Lamont
sweaty sportswear
Americano coffee
Lincoln Logs
film soundtracks
sexy parrots
jamoke
Jesse Honey vs flags of the world
the price of Lego
Ron Mueck
and
an update to the Mastermind chair?

Plus: Olly probably doesn’t want to be served up as a snack at his own wake; Helen will be a posthumous pedant, OF COURSE; and Martin the Sound Man, MPhys, DPhil, doesn’t have a specialist subject on Mastermind, unless you can spin a whole round out of turning One Direction into physics references. Which seems quite possible, actually.

In this week’s Bit of Crap on the App, Olly invents a new game, even better than Lego, even better than Lincoln Logs. What, what, what incredible passtime can this be? Find out on your iDevices, Android and Windows.

We invite you to aid questioneer Brian by naming this tune:

We also invite you to give Squarespace.com a whirl, and if you enjoy that whirl you give it, use the code answer1 to snag a 10% discount for a whole year.

We also also invite you to send us your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (call 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) and deliver emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

We finally invite you to rejoin us in a fortnight for AMT283,

Helen & Olly

* Translation for our American chums: cilantro
** Find out more about Helen growing up with a sculptor for a dad in episode 300 of the super Little Atoms podcast.

AMT282 Child-Friendly Rating: 76%. A couple of F-bombs, but other than that, fairly clear of saucy language. Elevated discussions of sculpture, coffins and Mastermind. Less elevated discussions of sweaty sports bras. Remember, parents: light and shade, light and shade.

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EPISODE 209 – the William the Conqueror Suite

March 15, 2012

Hello, beloved listeners,

It is the 75th birthday of Maltesers, so in Answer Me This! Episode 209 we’re celebrating by berating their current advertising campaign for being sexist. Although we similarly spent Grandad’s 75th birthday party berating him for his unreconstructed chauvinism. Can’t trust these septuagenarians to say the right things.

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On the agenda this week:

Trojans
buskers
aerated foods
Debra Winger
Stephen Fry’s cab
organ donation
pink newspapers
Boots
Christian barbecues
Arne Jacobsen‘s arse
and
hearses.

Plus: Olly lets yet another brilliant enterprise go to waste, but there’s nothing stopping any one of you future billionaires taking it onto Dragon’s Den; Helen finds the world’s best busker – catch him before he goes up in flames; and Martin the Sound Man may be a science whiz, but even he can’t get his macaro(o)ns to work.

It’s quite a literal Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) this week, as we address a question from Volker from Germany who likes to enjoy himself in the workplace lavvies after lights out. And if this, plus the final question of the episode about WCs, has ramped up your curiosity about matters lavatorial, our video masterwork upon the subject can be viewed at the bottom of this post.

We’re also moonlighting on episode 7 of Ian Collins Wants a Word
, the new podcast by star of AMT149 Ian Collins. Click here to get a dose of it.

Next week will be our last episode before we go on a little holiday, so hurry to send in your QUESTIONS: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype answermethis) and email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. We’ve got a bit of a treat for you while we’re on our break, though, so be sure to join us for AMT210 to discover what that is. A packet of Maltesers each? NO. Not until those tasty little bastards start treating us all as EQUALS.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 201 – House is called ‘Maison’ in France

January 19, 2012

Hello listeners!

Welcome to Answer Me This! Episode 201: the first episode of the year, and the first since the podcast turned five years old. Helen’s niece Matilda turned five the other day too; she celebrated by eating a plate of spaghetti with her hands, and we’re only moderately more civilised:

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Wherein we consider:

cake pops
Al Capone
moon plots
The Gun Seller (or should we say Le Gun Seller?)
pease pudding
Catch-22
Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie
supermarket trolleys
Ready Steady Cook
pushy parents
the North Wales Police
and
Anthony Worrall Thompson.

Plus: Olly harks back to when he won an election – he claims democratically, but then so did Putin; one day, Helen dreamed a dream of becoming Brian Turner, but never did it come to pass; and after twelve and a half years in the dark, Martin the Sound Man finally hears the sad news that the Two Fat Ladies will not be returning to his television screen.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iDevices or Android) concerns the only thing we don’t like about Mexican restaurants: the unwelcome phenomenon we like to call ‘Guac Tax’.

Well, that’s the new series begun, but please help us make it an absolute corker by sending us your exquisitely finely-honed QUESTIONS, as emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com and voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877, Skype answermethis).

And although our birthday has passed, we’re stuck with the PO Box for another four months, so do please send us a token of esteem if you are so moved:

Answer Me This!
PO Box 53587
London
SE19 9BQ

Also, if you want to be moved to tears of derision like John, the final caller in the episode, scroll down to the bottom of this post to see the pictures of our parents (oh alright, Olly’s lovely mum).

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 183 – big industry buckets

July 14, 2011

We, you, and everyone else in the world with functioning ears should be celebrating following the joyful news this week that the Black Eyed Peas are cancelling their subscription to What Sample? magazine, hanging up whatever contraption it is that makes their oeuvre so appealing to people who enjoy shit parties, and taking an indefinite leave of absence from generating that infernal racket.

Yes.

But if, for some reason, you start to miss the sound of puerile nonsense, simply fire up Answer Me This! Episode 183:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

No booms, pows or lumps, we promise; just conversation upon the following:

Christmas in July
BBC1’s Coast
Shakespeare in Love
Queen Middleton’s off games excuse
sample groups
substitute swears
baseball
Caroline Quentin
Annabel Chong
Anna Paquin
Neal Street
Canadian cricket
verticals
and
Danny Baker’s Dozen.

Plus: had he not been thwarted by the onset of puberty, THIS could have been Olly; Helen gives Tesco some much-needed advice to raise their game or lose their festive glove market share; and Martin the Sound Man blackmails petrol stations with his bowel movements. Concede to his demands, or face the direst consequences on the forecourt.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone and iPad, or Android) is a question from Simon from Beddington, who has one problematic nipple. But which one? You have a 50% chance of guessing it correctly!

You have a 100% chance of sending us a QUESTION if you properly employ the usual means, which are leaving voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emailing to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Our new intern Apl.de.Ap looks forward to sifting through them all.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 175 – Urine-Off

April 14, 2011

SPRRRRIIIIIIIINNNNNNNG BREEEEAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s right – the time has come for us to shout ‘Wooooo!’, whip our tops off, and throw up all over a beach resort in Mexico while Joe Francis captures our shame on video. Answer Me This! is off on its hols for a few weeks, but before we go, here’s Episode 175:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

In which we speak of:

Trebor gum
wedding-wear double standards
Birthday Girl
vats of KY
partworks
grab bags
parkour vs. flashmobs
Spiderman vs. white-collar crime
Hugh Grant vs. Ben Chaplin
Russian mail-order brides vs. Thai mail-order brides
Vernon Kay’s mum vs. Davina McCall’s mum
the Queen Sister-in-Law
the annual Test Card convention
Party Pieces
and
Simon Cowell’s fully-functioning penis.

Furthermore! Olly is like a smack-head, but for Percy Pigs; Helen shuns a potential money-making scheme; and Martin the Sound Man provides the key to safe toaster cookery. This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (a worthy addition to your iPhone or Android) is the true question of Lil Wayne: what possessed him to go for this?

We hope you don’t forget us while we’re away; please keep sending us your QUESTIONS for the new series: leave voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Plus, don’t hesitate to sign up for your free and half-price audiobooks at answermethispodcast.com/audible – you get a bargain, we get paid, everyone’s happy!

There will be bits and pieces popping up on this site during the break, but we’ll see you back here bright and early on 26th May for AMT176. Until then, behave yourselves.

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 163 – 80 years of failure

January 20, 2011

Dear friends,

Have you ever had selective amnesia? I, for instance, have blocked out every memory of looking into a mirror before my childhood fringe grew out. And in Answer Me This! Episode 163, we discover the event that must have been so traumatic, Olly Mann’s mind banished it…until now:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Things we have not banished from our minds this episode are:

ordnance survey
mouse mats
Lesley Garrett
The Ring and the Book
Jesus Christ: gap year student
Karl Pilkington vs. Aeschylus
Thunderbirds vs. Sex and the City
gastroenteritis – the pleasant kind
Saint Princess Diana
Marie Carmargo
MI1-19
Alexei Sayle’s Stuff
pick-up sticks
the Pope’s posthumous Parkinson’s panacea
and
natural selection through cock-size.

Plus: Olly retracts what he said about Love Actually in Episode 161; Helen invents the portable carpal tunnel preventative gel wristlet; and Martin the Sound Man reveals his ghost pelvis, although luckily just to Helen rather than the entire world.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App (available for iPhone or Android; not available for landlines) is a question from Lois, who wants to know the truth about the mythical place whose name everybody knows but whose nature few understand: the Watford Gap.

This January, we’re on a detox diet: nothing but cottage cheese and your QUESTIONS. So feed us! Leave your voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis) or send emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Because we HATE cottage cheese, and we’re hungry.

oxes,

Helen and Olly

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Web 2009 with Helen and Olly

January 1, 2010

** Click here for The Best of Answer Me This! 2009 – Part II **

Happy New Year, chums!

We saw out 2009 in pleasing and civilised fashion, and we hope you did too. But, thanks to pre-recording, on New Year’s Eve we also presented a radio show, Web 2009 with Helen and Olly. It was our first ever proper radio programme, and we would be ever so happy if you would listen to it; it’ll be available until Thursday 7th January, so CLICK HERE to do so via BBC iplayer, or download it as a podcast from the BBC website.

And if you wouldn’t mind telling your radio-and-internet-loving friends about it, tweeting it, or posting it up on Facebook, then we owe you a lollipop the next time we see you. Which, if you go to the same gym as Olly, is probably quite soon.

Links to all the nominees and winners are below – and another good link is THIS ONE to Martin the Sound Man’s free EP of songs about space. Give it a whirl!

Helen and Olly’s 2009 Web Awards went to:

David Schneider after winning our 'Tweeter of the Year' award

PUBLIC SERVICE OF THE YEAR
Our award for the sites that have become entirely essential this year. We never leave the house without them.
* Spotify *
– Google Streetview
– The Arts Desk
– Nicecritic
– DeathSwitch

WEB FEUD OF THE YEAR
Our celebration of the best online scraps of the year – the unfolding dramas of real, raw arguments that, thanks to the global public forum that is the internet, we can all enjoy.
* Megan Fox vs. the Transformers crew *
– Guido Fawkes vs. Derek Draper
– Stephen Fry vs. @BrumPlum
– Michael Chopra vs. Heather Swan
– Perez Hilton vs. Carrie Prejean

TWEETER OF THE YEAR
Our favourite short-form communicators of the past twelve months.
* David Schneider *
– John Prescott
– Phillip Schofield
– Richard Bacon
– Mrs Stephen Fry

TIME-WASTER OF THE YEAR
Useful as the internet can be, let’s not forget its primary function: frittering your time away. What has been the major enemy of productivity in 2009?
* My Very Worst Date *
– ’25 Random Things About Me’
– Cake Wrecks
– Letters of Note
– AnaFace

EPIC FAIL OF THE YEAR
Our award for those embarrassing moments that went viral in 2009.
* Gordon Brown on YouTube *
– The Baby Shaker iPhone App
– Kimberley Swann is fired
– John X from Cornell Business School
– Christian Bale’s on-set rant

ONLINE JAPE OF THE YEAR
In the olden days, pranks involved propping a bucket of water on the top of a door, or thrusting stinging nettles down someone’s pants. But the internet has opened up a whole new world of mischief…
* Ross Noble’s Twitterbomb Tuesday *
– upside-down YouTube
– Computertan.com
– renegade reviewers on Amazon
– Classic songs reinterpreted by Microsoft Songsmith

INTERNET SONG OF THE YEAR
Who was our Joe McElderry, and who will be our Rage Against The Machine?
* ‘United Breaks Guitars’ by Dave Carroll *
– ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ by the Muppets
– ‘Goodbye Twitter’ by Miley Cyrus
– ‘Hot and Cold’ by Los Colorados
– ‘Poker Face’ by Walt Ribeiro

WEBLEBRITY OF THE YEAR
The award for the internet star to have shot furthest in the online firmament this year
* Jill and Kevin *
– Susan Boyle
– Tavi Gevinson
– Little Boots
– ‘Poo Girl’

And finally, the LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD went to 104-year-old Ivy Bean, the oldest person on Twitter and, quite possibly, the whole of the internet…

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