Posts Tagged ‘swearing’

Thursday Listening Party

February 12, 2015

HearMuffs-1111111

On the Thursdays we don’t release a new AMT, we crank up the spoken word audio and have a Thursday Listening Party.
Click here to attend all previous gatherings.

What have you been listening to lately, AMTpals? Share your picks in the comments. Here are some of the things that have infiltrated my ears:

Last weekend, to keep me company whilst I raced to finish a ridiculous craft project, I chained several episodes of Why Oh Why? with Andrea Silenzi and Date Night, both of which feel like eavesdropping on very candid conversations. More reliable than hoping you hit the jackpot on the train by getting a seat in front of a couple of people having a very juicy chat…

Also candid: latest Radiotopia recruit Mortified. During the craft project I watched the Mortified Nation documentary, and now I can get my fix of adults reading their embarrassing teenage diaries and letters on their new weekly podcast (here it is on SoundCloud and iTunes).

I’m SO glad I never kept a diary. All my teenage feelings, not saved for posterity! Thank goodness…

Many people have noted that this recent episode of This American Life about trolling is brilliant. They are right. Get on it.

I was rooting around in the Radio 4 archives and happened upon an episode of Chain Reaction in which Rebecca Front is interviewed by her brother Jeremy Front. Who doesn’t love Rebecca Front? That’s right, none of you raised your hands. Then I looked down the chain and saw who else was coming up in the series – Chris Addison! Derren Brown! Caitlin Moran! – and, well, that’s three hours taken care of. Then I noticed the other nine series, so that’s me sorted until March.

What else have we been up to since the hijinks of AMT307?

You can hear Olly every late night/early morning on LBC, and every fortnight on the Media Podcast, of which there should be a new episode later today.

You’ll enjoy the latest episode of The Allusionist, especially if you’re that listener who wrote in a few years ago to tell me he enjoyed hearing me say ‘cunt’. Because this whole show is about the word cunt. Find the show at theallusionist.org, iTunes, SoundCloud or those other places you like to find podcasts.

Aaaaand finally: here is my very last podcast for Sound Women. I’m taking early retirement. Aptly, my swansong is all about podcasting; I chat to Theresa Thorn of the very entertaining One Bad Mother, and to my new boss/patron Roman Mars of 99% Invisible. If you’ve ever wanted to hear podcasters moaning about what goes on behind the scenes, your ship has come in (on SoundCloud and iTunes):

See you next Thursday for AMT308!

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AMT300!!!!!!!!!1!!

October 16, 2014

AMT300

THE DAY HAS ARRIVED! Answer Me This! Episode 300 is here, in all its tricentennial glory!

You’ve deluged us with questions about AMT300, for example:
“Will it be your last episode?”
“Is it going to feature Gerard Butler and be directed by Zack Snyder?”
“Did you guys ever…you know…?”
“Is it possible to polish a turd?”
“Yeah but seriously guys, is it going to be your last episode?”

Discover all these answers, and many more surprises, by listening to the episode right now via one or all of the following methods:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer soundcloud-icon our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Don’t read below this point if you don’t want spoilers! Listen to the episode first, then come back here and revise its contents.

Alright??

On the slate for AMT300 are such topics as:

our alternate realities if AMT had never existed
evidence of our life of crime
long-term relationships
bumhole problems
mashed potato vs nutmeg
Peter Jackson vs Raymond Carver
bases
nasal honking
hiding your rubber fetish gear
and
garnish.

And the wonderful special guest answerers bending their wisdom to your questions are:

Adam Buxton, the man who made us want to do this podcast. He doles out excellent advice on giving your children The Talk, ridding your kitchen of mouse turds, and changing your whole life to avoid minor annoyances. Enjoy more of Adam’s work on YouTube, on Twitter, and at live shows including BUG.

Sarah Millican, who even manages to make questions about anal fissures sound charming and wholesome. It’s a gift! Her new DVD Home Bird is available for pre-order; she’s writing for the new online magazine Standard Issue, and she dispenses Sarahmillicandour at twitter.com/SarahMillican75.

Jesse and Theresa Thorn, the first couple of podcasting, the power behind the Maximum Fun throne (at MaxFun, they record everything sitting on thrones). Tackling questions upon Americana and parental embarrassment, it’s a rare treat to hear them on a podcast together – but it’s a regular treat to hear them on their own podcasts, which include One Bad Mother, Bullseye, Jordan, Jesse, Go!, Judge John Hodgman… Yeah, it took us nearly eight years to churn out 300 podcasts; they probably do more than that a month. And just in case you needed even more podcast-related excitement on top of this, it’s MaxFunWeek right now, so you can have maximum fun with other podcast aficionados around the world.

Josie Long, who delighted you in AMT84 and returns to do the same, on such matters as losing your virginity, beating procrastination and Lord of the Rings – the latter with the help of her boyfriend Simon of the Picturehouse Podcast. We hope this important matter doesn’t come between them… As well as seeing Josie on stage, you can hear her on her Lost Treasures of the Black Heart podcast, and the new series of Radio 4’s Short Cuts.

Tony Blackburn. TONY. BLACKBURN! Answering YOUR questions and sounding off about wandering eyes, Hobbits and nutmeg! He was the first voice on Radio 1 in 1967, and he currently has shows on Radio 2, BBC Berkshire, BBC London, BBC Three Counties, KMFM, Magic…phew! Switch on a radio, and Blackburn will probably be talking on it. You can also read him at twitter.com/tonyblackburn.

AMT sibling Andy Zaltzman and his Bugle cohort John Oliver, offering advice on christenings, garlic and hanging onto a long term relationship. You can see Andy on tour with his show Satirist for Hire, and you can see John presenting Last Week Tonight on HBO and/or approximately fifteen times a day in your Facebook feed.

Today’s new email jingle is by the Hackney Colliery Band – because there are few things more stirring than a brass band. To see them live and listen to their records, including their new EP Common Decency, visit hackneycollieryband.co.uk.

Our special guest answerers supplied such a lot of marvellous material, there’s a bumper tricentennial Bit of Crap on the App today – extra questions about tattoos, pineapples, balloon animals, taramasalata, adventures, wedgies, and there’s even a cameo from AMT190 superstar Jon Ronson. The app is available for your iDevices, Android or Windows playthings, but since it’s an ‘appy day, you appless can also stream or download it via SoundCloud. Or just play it here:

We could not have done these 300 episodes without you, listeners: without your attention; without your support, financial and emotional; and particularly without your questions. Please keep sending those in: call the Question Line on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or email answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. And do celebrate with us at facebook.com/answermethis or twitter.com/HelenAndOlly.

Thanks so much for joining us today! We’ll be back with business-as-usual non-landmark AMT301 on 30th October 2014.

Helen & Olly

••• AMT300 Child-Friendly Rating: 1%. No way. •••

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further adventures in icing

February 12, 2013

CLICK HERE FOR AMT245

We’re still not tired of you testing the linguistic boundaries of Thorntons’ bespoke icing policy.

This post features RUDE WORDS ON CHOCOLATE, so click through to see the rest of it. (more…)

Best of AMT 2012 part II

December 20, 2012

We hope you enjoyed the Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part I last week. If you did, you’ll also enjoy The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II, and if you didn’t, maybe you’ll prefer The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II. Either way, you should listen to The Best of Answer Me This! 2012 – Part II:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just £1.99 at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

Wherein we meet again our auld acquaintances:

Phantom of the Opera
Hamlet Hamlet
Prince Philip’s bladder
Killer Net
Angela Lansbury fantasies
R Kelly’s fancy parties
the birthplace of the Industrial Revolution
Devon vs Cornwall scone wars
sex Jenga
the Owl and the Pussycat
the 21st-century Sweeney Todd
Olly’s solo sex tape
Helen taking an off-brand fruit into the Apple store
and
Charlie’s Angles.

And there are more previously unheard bits of AMT, which you can have more of every week if you posess the AMT App, available for iDevices and Android – on which you also get our Best Of episodes from the past five years, if you trawl through diligently enough.

Please be generous with your QUESTIONS for AMT in 2013: email them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com or leave voicemails on the Question Line by calling 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis.

We’ll be back on 10th January 2013, but you can still hear plenty of us before then:

We’ll be running through the year’s biggest online events on Saturday Edition, BBC 5 Live 8pm 29th December or available shortly after as the Let’s Talk About Tech podcast.

Olly will be Manning the microphone on LBC 97.3 FM, 1-4am most nights from Xmas Eve to Jan 3rd – check lbc.co.uk for the schedule, and rouse yourself from your festive stupor to give him a call and keep him company.

Helen will crop up on BBC 5 Live’s Radio Review of 2012, hosted by Jane Garvey and Mike Sweeney, which will be broadcast on at 11pm on Christmas Eve, repeated 4pm on Christmas Day, or, if you want to listen at a more sensible time, it’ll be available on the 5 Live website straight after.

You can hear us discussing Christmas gadgets and songs on Steve Wright in the Afternoon on BBC Radio 2 on 20th December. UPDATE: Here’s the link to the item on iPlayer.

And we wrote some bits for the Celebrity Juice Christmas Specials; part one is already on ITV Player and part two will follow on tonight.

We hope you have very happy festivities, and we’ll see you next year!

Helen & Olly

PS if you need more noise to drown out the sound of sleighbells and Wizzard, direct yourself to our Jubilee and Sports Day albums, as well as AMT1-120.

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EPISODE 226 – the sentimental stain

August 2, 2012

Guys. Why are you bothering with the London Olympics, when you need to preserve your energy for the year’s most important contest? That’s right – the British Firework Championships are only days away! And at least one of Team AMT should be looking to start a new career there, as we discover in Answer Me This! Episode 226. Prepare to detonate:

Subscribe to AMT! on iTunes listen to the MP3 through your computer our podcast feed on Libsyn Share with Facebook

Also going off in the episode:

Mass Market Muesli
clutch bags for the Third World
immersive theatre
psychic jurors
hipster aprons
teacher sadism by proxy
Routemaster buses
the Penguin
Shwopping vs. consumerism
Captain Hook vs. Gordon Ramsay
us vs. Bob Dylan
and
‘London’s Best Scare Experience 2008-2011’.

Plus: Olly has a damp stinky manbag; Helen errs by bringing actual fruit to the Apple store; and Martin the Sound Man recommends not trying to multitask during sexual activity if you’re a novice.

This week’s Bit of Crap on the App is a question from Kenny, about whether he was wrong to fuck over his work buddy in order to score a promotion. Is it a fair case of survival of the fittest, or survival of the fuckiest? Find out on iDevices and Android.

You can also find out a whole lot if you listen to the AMT Sports Day. Most of that lot will be about sport, but since the Olympics is currently in full swing, you’d only be having to listen to sports commentators rabbiting on anyway whenever you turn on the television. Us or them, US OR THEM???

It only remains for us to ask you to ask us something: send your QUESTIONS as voicemails to the Question Line (Skype answermethis or dial 0208 123 5877) or as emails to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com.

See you next Thursday,

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 183 – big industry buckets

July 14, 2011

We, you, and everyone else in the world with functioning ears should be celebrating following the joyful news this week that the Black Eyed Peas are cancelling their subscription to What Sample? magazine, hanging up whatever contraption it is that makes their oeuvre so appealing to people who enjoy shit parties, and taking an indefinite leave of absence from generating that infernal racket.

Yes.

But if, for some reason, you start to miss the sound of puerile nonsense, simply fire up Answer Me This! Episode 183:

This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

No booms, pows or lumps, we promise; just conversation upon the following:

Christmas in July
BBC1’s Coast
Shakespeare in Love
Queen Middleton’s off games excuse
sample groups
substitute swears
baseball
Caroline Quentin
Annabel Chong
Anna Paquin
Neal Street
Canadian cricket
verticals
and
Danny Baker’s Dozen.

Plus: had he not been thwarted by the onset of puberty, THIS could have been Olly; Helen gives Tesco some much-needed advice to raise their game or lose their festive glove market share; and Martin the Sound Man blackmails petrol stations with his bowel movements. Concede to his demands, or face the direst consequences on the forecourt.

This week’s Bonus Bit of Crap on the App (available on iPhone and iPad, or Android) is a question from Simon from Beddington, who has one problematic nipple. But which one? You have a 50% chance of guessing it correctly!

You have a 100% chance of sending us a QUESTION if you properly employ the usual means, which are leaving voicemails on the Question Line (dial 0208 123 5877 or find answermethis on Skype) or emailing to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. Our new intern Apl.de.Ap looks forward to sifting through them all.

See you next week!

Helen & Olly

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EPISODE 147 – Old Possum’s Book of Practical Pigs

August 26, 2010

Woo-hoo, it’s time for our special guest episode! Sorry campers, Ian Collins forgot to turn up this week (although with any luck he will be on the show in a couple of weeks. (If he remembers.)), so you’ll just have to make do with the three of us in Answer Me This! Episode 147, as per. Here we are:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

We speak this week of:

speed of sound vs. speed of light
Cats vs. pigs vs. puppets
Keanu Reeves vs. Martin’s dad
steak and kidney pudding
newspapers for Christmas
blue-screening Neighbours
hare
The Sheep-pig by Dick King-Smith
artichoke liqueurs
builders’ tea
allergens
Countdown for foreigners
St John
and
eel.

Olly depends upon Twitter to make even the most banal decisions for him; Helen explains Deal or No Deal in a nutshell; and Martin the Sound Man calms everyone down with some maths before they crap themselves in a scary thunderstorm.

Over on the AMT app, there’s the extended coverage of the balls’n’Marmite issue; and we bid farewell to our Great British Questions series with a blooper reel, which is the only way we know how to say goodbye. Which will make our funerals interesting.

There’s good news too, folks: once again we’ve teamed up with Audible.co.uk to give freeeeeee audiobooks to AMT-listeners! Those of you who signed up before, do not feel left out, for there is also a very special offer for you too: dirt-cheap Audible membership for months of audiobook joy. Click here to find out how to claim your audiofreebies!

You know what else is free? Asking us QUESTIONS. Leave a voice message on 0208 123 5877 or Skype ID answermethis, or dispatch an email to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com. You’ll be none the poorer, and our lives will be the richer. RESULT.

See you next week!

Helen and Olly

PS The zenith of swearing on Countdown:

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EPISODE 133 – a horse doesn’t have a glovebox

April 29, 2010

ELECTION ELECTION WINEHOUSE’SBROKENBOOBS ELECTION ELECTION ELECTION KATONA. That’s all we’re hearing about this week, and frankly it’s wearing us down. Listeners, perhaps you feel the same; or perhaps you don’t live in Britain and therefore didn’t even know there was an election on. And now that you do, you couldn’t give a tortoise’s bra about it. But hopefully we can all agree to settle down and listen to Answer Me This! Episode 133, before returning to deface Tory pamphlets/whatever the hell you non-Brit-residents were up to:


This classic episode is available to BUY NOW for just 79p at the Answer Me This! Store, through a secure server, without DRM restriction. CLICK HERE to find out more and support our podcast. (This helps keep our most recent episodes free)

This week we speak of:

Tory tax breaks
Smith Kendon travel sweets
Kenneth Tynan
Scotney Castle
Birmingham Selfridges
Tate Modern
satnav wipes
sphygmomanometers
sexting vs. proper infidelity
Facebook vs. Friends Reunited
syntax vs. inflections
souvenir pencils
the Paris Expo
James
Citizen Kane
Sarah Kane
Hamlet II
In the Night Garden
and
Ozwald Boateng.

Plus: Olly yearns for the rural life, tilling the soil and raising livestock; Helen is shocked by the potty-mouth affecting Woman’s Hour; and Martin the Sound Man seems to know more about blood pressure than the average district nurse. And some news that might be more exciting to us than to you, and more exciting to our mums than anyone else.

You know what’s definitely exciting all round, though? Your QUESTIONS! So give us a thrill by sending them to answermethispodcast@googlemail.com, Skype ID answermethis or our question line 0208 123 5877. Our timbers are shivering in anticipation.

See you next Thursday!

Helen and Olly

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Olly models Helen's fake engagement ring

keeping mum

November 12, 2009

** Click here for Episode 116 **

A few of you have actually written in to complain that we’re no longer swearing enough for your liking, and that this must be symptomatic of us selling out or going soft. We assure you, this is not the case. We have merely passed the foul-mouthed baton onto you lot instead, as illustrated by the following charming stories inspired by Simon from Oxford‘s question in Episode 114. Like proud parents, we present the progress of Jim from Tewkesbury:

I’m a regular sort of middle-class guy from a regular sort of middle-class area. I have a regular sort of office job, with regular sorts of colleagues. I have invested many hours crafting a veneer of respectability through working diligently with a polite and helpful attitude.

This has served me well when offering dry remarks with my trademark deadpan delivery, as I have retained what I call, “the shock factor”. Perhaps once a month someone will turn to me agog at my latest crude/clever (usually crude) remark.

Following a recent constitutional along the prom whilst listening to your recordings, I found myself with a powerful new tool at my disposal, and the next day I used it to devastating effect with no thought for the consequences. I started an argument with a colleague just so I could deliver the premeditated closing line, “When can I fuck your mum again?” My victim was shocked beyond my wildest hopes.

Well done, Jim, you obtuse-minded cussbox. Let’s see how Steve from Cheltenham compares:

This Sunday my girlfriend and I drove past several lone magpies, which we consider to be bad luck. We both salute the magpies and wish that their wife and child were well, which is supposed to break the curse.

I was thinking to myself, “Fuck magpies, I’m sick of this saluting them bullshit, they are just birds”. It was the third magpie we passed that instead of saluting, I wound down the window and shouted, “When am I next going to fuck your mum?” The magpie didn’t respond, but later that evening our landlord called and said that we’d have to be out of our house by Christmas because he wanted to sell it.

p.s. the guy that first told me that magpies were bad luck (when I was about 14) he drowned, which fucked his day up a treat.

I think we’ve all learnt something from this; I’m just not sure what.

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